Breastfeeding in Public

[Babyruth348]

Hi Everyone,

This is my first post here on Mothering although I've been a stalker for about 5 months. I just wanted to get others take on a situation I recently encountered at work.

I am a part-time working mom of 3, my newest addition is my 5 month old DD. I am EBF. I recently attended an event that I was invited too with my daughter with co-workers and an agency involved with the work that I do. It was an awards ceremony to honor volunteers who work with my department. I was not getting paid to attend, and I brought my daughter as I didn't want to have to express milk for her. I was sitting at a table with others where we had eaten and my DD got hungry so I BF her at the table. I was wearing a nursing top and did it discreetly so my breast was not exposed.

The next morning when I went into work, my boss pulled me aside and told me that I should have left the table to nurse my daughter because I made people uncomfortable when I nursed my daughter. I was also told that the next time I am representing my place of employment I should not bf in front of anyone. (I work for a hospital and I am a nurse, so I figured this maybe something we would want to promote.)

The previous day I was working at a booth and needed a place to pump. I asked a man who had led me and a co-worker to our booth and asked if we needed anything or had any questions. I said "I do have a question, I am breastfeeding and I need a place to pump can you tell me if there is any place appropriate here for that?" He referred me to a lady who was in charge of the event I was attending and she secured a place for me to pump. The day I was told I shouldn't BF in public, I was told I made the man I asked for a place to pump uncomfortable as well, and that I shouldn't have asked him. I know this man would not have called my boss and told him this so I highly suspect it was my co-worker who was/is uncomfortable with my breastfeeding.

I am outraged, and angry at this situation and it is enough to make me quit my job. What do you all think? Am I overreacting?

Thanks!!

[karika]

no I do not think you are overreacting at all. From what I read, the people around you are way out of touch with reality. I am not sure what I should say because I do not know everything, but it sounds like you may have some sort of a discrimination complaint. I think it is even included in the new health care bill (I am not a fan of it, but it has a few good things) that a place to pump and time is given to women that pump at work. I guess you should research what laws are in place now, federally and state wise. Check to see if your place of work has a policy as well. I am really hoping other more knowledgeable people write in. You should not have been spoken to that way. You child should not have been (can't think of right word here...) disrespected? in that way. Nursing should be promoted through the hospitals and 'health' care fields, not told to hide it. Everywhere actually , but you would think especially there. It is a WHO (who I do not respect, but those in the 'health' care fields may) recommendation that babies be fed breastmilk until they are 2 yrs old. AAP says EBF till 6 months, and to continue for the first year. Your place of work was asking you to ignore that information? This really gets me riled up, and you are right to be riled up too. I can understand why you would want to quit. Especially since you are in such a high demand field. But I think helping those people understand what is the right thing to do next time would be good too. They cannot violate the rights of a mother like that. If nursing in public is not prohibited by your state (frankly I don't know if any state prohibits it) then you can feed your child anywhere you please in public! I really hope others write in to help you decide a good course of action! You are a good mama! they are out of line (IMO)

[mamaw/two]

I don't think you are overreacting at all! It makes me so sad, especially since you are in the medical field and these are the people who should be promoting bfing!! If I were in your position and it was finacially possible, I would quit my job...but I wouldn't go quietly.

[sarahdavida]

you are definitely not overreacting - you are being bullied and are being put in a "damned if you do and damned if you don´t" situation

you should definitely find out what the state laws are/rights for breastfeeding in your state - and what the rights are for women who pump in the workplace, etc...

what is unfortunate is that you seemed to have been addressed rudely if nothing else - if you had been spoken to and treated with respect you might not feel as poorly as you do - and that is no way for a mother with a small child to be made to feel

the most amazing thing was to find out your place of work is a hospital!!!

you might be able to draw up a formal complaint with whoever is "harassing" you and ensure that it never happens again - and hopefully you will not continue to feel so uncomfortable to have to leave your job over it - it would be an unfortunate solution

[annettemarie]

I'm going to move this over to the Lactivism forum.

[mamadelbosque]

Yeah, your not over-reacting at all. If anything, I'd say your under-reacting!! I'd be PISSED if somebody told me I shouldn't breastfeed at a table at a public event. And that I shouldn't even ask someone about where to pump? Right. So what should you have done then? Just pumped right there at the booth? Been psychic and known where to go before hand?? People are so stupid. I'd write a letter to your boss and CC it to his boss and other big-shots at the hospital. Thats BS.

[RheaSilva]

You are absolutely NOT overreacting! Your baby was hungry and you fed her. She has the right to eat her dinner just as much as anyone else does. It sounds like you were being discreet but, even if your nipple were in plain view, it would still not be anyones business but you and your daughter's

People need to get over it! They're breasts, for goodness sake. Just another body part; don't know what the big deal is.

When my oldest daughter was an infant, she and I were watching my husband play rugby and it was time for her to eat. I was sitting right behind a bench holding a dozen or so young men, and most of them turned around to gawk but what did I care? I knew I had nice breasts and, most importantly, my daughter was hungry and I provided nourishment for her. It is the most beautiful and natural thing in the world.

AAAAAGH! Sorry, but this subject can set me off like no other!

[Pirogi]

Totally not overreacting! If I were you, I would make a formal complaint with my company's HR department. I agree with PP recommendation to find out what your state laws are regarding breastfeeding in public and the workplace. There is absolutely NO excuse for your boss's insinuation that you are disgracing or somehow blemishing your company by breastfeeding your daughter! Find out if your hospital (or their parent company if appropriate) has any policy on mothers breastfeeding or expressing breastmilk. If so, show your boss a hard copy. If not, petition your company to adopt some guidelines to prevent this from happening again. Show them why it is good business to encourage breastfeeding for their employees who have had a child. Don't let this go, and don't walk away. Make a change. You can do it!!

[isabchi]

Hospital are suppostly be family friendly places. Starting for their employees and their families. Bad publicity for the hospital.

[HappyMommy2]

I would let it go. Jobs are hard to come by. You have nothing to gain, and everything to lose.

These people won't change their views because of you. Just ignore them and know that you are making the right decision for you and your baby. There are always going to be uninformed people around here, and the workplace is not where you try to make a statement.

Just do your job well, and don't nurse at company events again. (even though you should be able to!) I don't think it is wise to choose this particular battle.

ANY time you go to HR, it is a bad reflection on you. Even if you are right. That is just how it is. Do not raise a fuss and become that annoying lady that everyone can't stand.

BTW - I am still nursing my 2.5 y.o. DD. And I used to nurse in public when necessary.

[Babyruth348]

Thanks for the replies and support. I'm not quite sure what to do, I have decided to change my job over to an on call position with in the same department at this point. I don't know how to address this specific issue the people I work with already think I'm crazy because I cloth diaper, don't circumcise, wear my babies, co-sleep, and had a natural childbirth with a midwife. I don't want to get fired from my job as I do love what I do, but not enough to be there as much as I am.

[Geist]

I don't think they'd fire you if you breastfed in public again...and if they did, seriously, you're better off NOT working there. Being on call would at least offer you more flexibility regarding breastfeeding.

[Jaesun's Dad]

Originally Posted by Babyruth348

the people I work with already think I'm crazy because I cloth diaper, don't circumcise, wear my babies, co-sleep, and had a natural childbirth with a midwife

Am I the only one thinking I'd like to avoid this hospital you work at? I hope things work out for you. I think you have many rights which have been disregarded by your management. At the very least this should have been handled with more sensitivity and understanding.

[starling&diesel]

s ... what a difficult situation. I cannot believe that you were chastised for nursing your child. How barbaric, archaic and short-sighted. I am so sorry that you're going through this. As a Canadian, we are protected legally in this situation ... I'm totally in the dark about American laws about this. Is there a law? Is it on your side? Do you have a Human Rights tribunal where you live? Is there some way of having policy written and implemented by the hospital?

[new2texas]

I don't think you're over reacting but I see this as a real opportunity to educate those around and to possibly enact some change in your work place. Research what the specifics are to the law in your state and the policy in place at your company and go from there. You could make a real difference here and pave the way for others so they don't face the same discrimination. You're in the right so stand up, speak out, stay strong and don't quit!

[crunchy_mommy]

They had absolutely no right to tell you not to BF ESPECIALLY since you were going to this event of your own free will, not getting paid, etc. but regardless... I find your boss's reaction & tone completely unacceptable. I do think you should print out the laws, hospital policy, etc. and if you don't get an apology then go to HR and file a complaint. It's no wonder some hospitals are so discouraging of BF'ing if this is the kind of thing they say to their employees!!

[proudmomof4]

You have to know how important the issue is to you and whether at this point you can handle to "become that annoying lady that everyone can't stand" - but for my feeling you have every right to feel mad. If you can muster up the strength to take some action: this is not just about you but about your colleagues (potential new mothers) and even the patients as well.

BTW: I'm pretty sure that Emily Pankhurst used to be that sort of woman (nobody could stand) - and yet aren't we all glad she was!

[khaoskat]

Posted in wrong thread.

[Meredith&Alexander]

As an HR person, I'd politely ask your boss (probably in an e-mail, for clarity and reference purposes) for a summary of what's premissable WRT nursing and your workplace. That way you can conform your behavior to the degree you see fit, and if they're out of compliance with the law in your state it's easier to confront it if it's in writing.

[HappyFox05]

OT, but still dealing w/women's rights, OK? :)

Originally Posted by proudmomof4

BTW: I'm pretty sure that Emily Pankhurst used to be that sort of woman (nobody could stand) - and yet aren't we all glad she was!

Holy cow - until now, I just thought Mrs. Pankhurst was a character in the "Sister Suffragette" song from the movie "Mary Poppins". Thanks for educating me (well, you & google)!