What to do when nursing to sleep doesn't work anymore?

[Halfasianmomma]

DD is 21 months now, and since her birth, she's always nursed to sleep. Well, actually I just nursed on demand and she just happened to always fall asleep while nursing. Guess my milk had a soporific effect.

She's now down to nursing 3 times a day, 1 of those times being nursing to sleep. My bedtime routine with her is usually:
Bath time
Run around naked for a bit.
Go down to the living room for play and stories
Nurse to sleep on the couch (for some reaon, DD likes it when the tv is on low).
I carry DD up to our bedroom and lay her down on her bed.
End of story. Falling asleep at the boob can take anywhere between 10 and 25 minutes.

Lately though, DD falls asleep (or seems to fall asleep at the boob), but as soon as I carry her upstairs, she's awake. There have been times when I managed to put her down but as soon as I get up off the bed (which creaks), she wakes and she's pissed.

I don't know what other strategy to take with her, because I've only ever nursed her to sleep. My mother, whom I live with, has tried rocking her and then putting her down, but she gets the same results I do: DD wakes up as soon as someone moves away from her.

A few nights ago, she was awake until midnight!

Any suggestions from other wise mamas out there? DD isn't verbal yet so it's hard to explain to her that she needs to go "do-do" (sleepy time in French). I'm wondering if she isn't having problems achieving a deep enough sleep and this is why she wakes...or perhaps my milk is drying up now (from the looks of my empty boobs).

Is there a time where you mamas just decided to put your LOs down in their beds, tell them it was time for sleep and went away? I don't want DD to CIO, but it seems rather strange to need up to 2-3 hours to fall asleep, after having no problems for her entire life...

[JanineRivera]

Halfasianmomma, it was right about this time with my dd that she just started getting more restless nursing to sleep. About 4 weeks ago at 19 months we decided to night wean. This didn't mean we just lie her down and leave, no, in fact it has become a bit of drawn out process but at least my boobs are getting a break.

So, we, meaning my husband and I, lie down with her after our bedtime routine which includes rocking and nursing. She went through a period of asking for milk but doesn't anymore and can fall asleep after some singing and cuddling. Although lately it has been taking 30 - 60 minutes to get her down. Anyway this is an idea that may work for you lo without the marathon singing, lol.

Best of luck,
Janine

[gagin37]

We went through something similar with our ds. We changed up our routine. instead of rocking and nursing in the living room, i started laying down with him in our bed with all the lights off and letting him nurse and snuggle until he falls asleep. more often than not now he sleeps with us all night.

[Katie T]

I second trying to lay and nurse her to sleep in her bed or just laying there, I always have to lay there for a little while 20 to 30 minutes after she falls asleep before I get up. At that age I wouldn't expect to go from nursing to sleep to just laying alone to go to sleep. (not that you do, just saying I agree with you).

Do you think she is too tired/not sleepy enough when you are doing bedtime? That can affect how my little ones go down/sleep. We also seem to go threw a stage with each child were is seems to take a insane amount of time to get them so sleep, but it passed for us and hopefully you get something figured out/it passes for you as well.

[Birdie B.]

Katie T, I hope you're right about this stage passing!! I am having this same problem with my daughter (17 mo) and it is absolutely awful! She never took more than 15 minutes to nurse or cuddle to sleep before, and over the past couple of weeks she has begun to fight sleep with everything she has! I don't know what do!

Not only does she fight sleep hard at bedtime, but when she wakes up she wants to play and carry on instead of nursing back to sleep again. I don't feel like playing at 1am, or 2 am or even 4am, so I try putting her back in her crib, or rocking and singing, or nursing, or cuddling with us in the bed - NONE of this works! She cries and cries unless we get up and play with her. I am so tired!!!

[Cujobunny]

I went through this stage with both my kids, and I just switched to lying in bed with them and listening to a lullaby cd until they fell asleep.

[Halfasianmomma]

Minor update

So I've taken the advice found here and have started to institute a bedtime routine:

6:30 bathtime
7:00 pjs (or run around nekkid if DD manages to get away from me!)
7:30 snack downstairs
7:45-8:00 brush teeth
8:00 go upstairs and read books (gradual turning off of lights)
8:15 put books away and nurse
8:30 lights out, lie down.

I kept repeating to DD that mommy was going nightnight, and boobies were going nightnight, so she should too. She was none too impressed, but after sitting in the dark, whimpering for 5 minutes, she decided to lie down next to me and sleep.

Last night, it took from 8:20 when the lights where pretty much off, until 8:45for DD to fall asleep--which isn't bad! I almost fell asleep myself, but then snuck out ever so quietly trying my best to make sure the bed or the floor didn't creak.

Crossing my fingers that this keeps up!

[pianojazzgirl]

I had the exact same thing happen with my ds (including nursing to sleep in the livingroom with the tv on low). And when he started doing what your dd does (waking up when I tried to put him in bed) I did exactly what you're doing (pretty much exact sane routine) and it worked! And has continued to work! So I have faith that it'll continue to work for you too.