What do you think of Happiest Toddler on the Block?

[GreenGranolaMama]

I'm about 1/2 way through the book and wondering what others think/ how the techniques have worked for you and your LO? My DS is 11mo- I don't think he is quite ready for the FFR or toddlerease yet...

[marispel]

We rented the DVD - I think we need to watch it again, because I just don't get the caveman talk. We've tried it and DS totally ignores us when he is having a meltdown. Repeating "want outside, want outside" over and over doesn't seem to be helping. Then agani, maybe I'm doing it wrong.

[GreenGranolaMama]

This is where my concern is too, I'm afraid I won't be able to do this part 'right' ! I like the idea of taking time to acknowledge his feelings first before saying my piece though.

[wetcement101]

I liked it because it reminds me to think of things from the toddler's perspective. If I use toddlerease, it only works because my DS thinks I'm nuts and I distract her with a song and dance, not because she feels understood.

[LadyCatherine185]

we don't use the toddlerese really, but it did help me to understand things more from DS's perspective, as well as having age appropriate expectations. So far DS doesn't really tantrum/meltdown much (he is 19.5 months) but I think it does have a lot of great information and creative ideas in it.

One thing I did NOT like, however, was that he advocates CIO for toddlers in the end of the book. I was actually very surprised when I read that, because a lot of MDC moms seem to like the book.

[Faliciagayle]

I think it's a great book and found it especially useful when DD was a younger toddler. The toddlerease isn't especially useful to us now that she is a bit past 2.5 years.

[major_mama11]

I read it when dd was a toddler, and found it intriguing, but never really used the caveman talk, bc DD ended up being verbal early on.

BUT... I'm glad I didn't give it away, as DS is way less verbal than DD was at the same age. I've been thinking it's about time to give it another read.

[AnnaNova]

im almost done wih it, too, and i liked a lot of things in it, i only wish t was broken down by aes rather than activities. i wish it said 1yo: heres what works, rather than method a: works for toddlers 18 mo and up... there is a lot of information, and i dont think i remember it all.
i tried mirroring my son's emotions and it worked very well a few times, but mostly when we are at home, in public, i think, im too self-conscious, and its in public that you'd want it to work.
i didnt know they had a dvd, i should get that.

[micah_mae_]

I really didn't like it so much. I'm not really into using "techniques". I already think of things through my toddlers point of view so that wasn't helpful. I dunno. I may be in the minority.

[donutmolly]

It's been a little while since I read the book, so I'm a little fuzzy on the particulars. Generally, I had a good impression of the book... but, the toddlerese and repetition DID NOT WORK. I wish it did... I really got into it... but so far after trying it with 2 kiddos, I would say not so much. I thought Positive Discipline (for toddlers?) had more useful ideas for dealing with toddler behavior.

[twinergy]

I haven't read Happiest Toddler, but I have read (most of) Becoming the Parent You Want to Be. It is another book that emphasizes communication with toddlers and preschoolers. They talk about feelings a lot, and I think it gives good tools to help nurture emotional intelligence.

It is also a reference book for the first 5 years, so you can skip to a specific chapter while skipping everything before it. Each chapter also has a set of bullet points or a numbered list at the end that summarizes useful strategies. So you could even skip to the end of a chapter if you don't have lots of time to go through the entire thing. I found parts 2 (feelings), 4 (difficult behavior), and 5 (social learning) most useful. Pages 226-239 summarize discipline tools that focus on communication. I photocoppied these pages, highlighted the best parts, and have a copy hanging around to share. It might at least be worth checking out from the library.

Their communication tools worked fantastically for my twins and I when they were one. Now at 2.5 I'm reading through it again and trying out new tools they suggest for this age. I'm glad I used the highlighter the first time because it is much faster this time through.

ETA:
Here is the website for Becoming the Parent You Want to Be.

[Girlprof]

We had great success with Happiest Toddler on the Block with my DS. He had his crazy-toddler switch turned on pretty much the day he turned 18 months and the toddlerese/cave man stuff was the best trick for getting through that phase. We haven't used it as much with DD. She is less verbal and it's often hard to tell why she's upset. But she also has waaaay fewer tantrums.

[GreenGranolaMama]

Originally Posted by AnnaNova

im almost done wih it, too, and i liked a lot of things in it, i only wish t was broken down by aes rather than activities. i wish it said 1yo: heres what works, rather than method a: works for toddlers 18 mo and up... there is a lot of information, and i dont think i remember it all.
i tried mirroring my son's emotions and it worked very well a few times, but mostly when we are at home, in public, i think, im too self-conscious, and its in public that you'd want it to work.
i didnt know they had a dvd, i should get that.

I totally agree, my DS is going to be 12mo in a few weeks, but I know he isn't really ready for most of the techniques described in the book.

[lisavark]

I love love love that book and recommend it to everyone. I didn't really use the techniques till DD was around 18 months, and by the time she was two I didn't really need the "caveman" talk any more, but it did wonders for those six months. And now I still use the ideas, just don't really do the caveman talk. But I think it really, really helped DD identify her own emotions and it stopped thousands of tantrums in their tracks. Definitely doesn't apply much yet at one year, though, IMO.

[swd12422]

DS is 28 months and I only just started reading the book, so this may not apply to the OP...

I didn't do/haven't done the caveman talk with DS b/c he is very verbal (and older) and it just doesn't seem natural. Maybe it would be different enough to get his attention during a terrible tantrum, but I haven't tried yet. What I have tried a little is the FFR, and it worked very well the first time. Subsequent times, not so much, or at least not as instantaneously, but hopefully he still felt understood.

For me, whether these things work or not, I think just having them fresh in my head helps me stay calm and not just start getting impatient and yelling right away, which for me, some days, is success in and of itself.