Quick background: My husband lost his job last year and has only been working again the last month. We currently "live" with my inlaws, but more often than not stay at my mom's house because it's a much more kid friendly environment, but we're not really able to be there "full time". At my inlaws, we have the large master bedroom that we share with the kids, but it's really the only area that the kids can be in and play in without being harassed for "being kids". At my mom's, while it's a very kid friendly environment, we don't have our own room, and usually sleep on mattresses on the floor, or my sister's room when she's off staying at her boyfriend's.
This is going to be my first homebirth (I wanted one with my last, but was never able to find a MW in the area). I had actually resigned myself to a hospital birth this pregnancy after not being able to find a HB MW, and had switched to an OB known for being very hands off and a non interventionist.
Around 24 weeks I was finally able to find a HB MW, and liked her immediately. Not only is she willing to let us extend payments well beyond my due date because of my husband being unemployed, but she also has room in her home for me to labor and birth in, since neither of my other options are really ideal-and I'm very comfortable in the space she has.
Well, I had every intention of dropping my OB when I signed on with my MW, but have since learned that in my state, having a homebirth can jeopardize your insurance when you have Medicaid, and instead of taking that chance, I've been doing shadow care with the OB-so as far as he's concerned, we're a go for me having the baby in the hospital.
Basically where I'm at with things, is that as much as I want a home birth, I'm also thinking about those first couple days with a newborn. If I have a home birth that puts me at either my inlaws' or my mother's +/-12 hours after the baby is born. Granted, I'm going to be at one or the other within a few days of the birth anyway, but in the back of my head, I just feel like maybe the 48 hours or so in the hospital with nothing going on but hanging out and meeting the baby would be less stressful than being at either home. Not only that, but then I'd be at the hospital for everyone to come see the baby, and that kind of appeals to me, because my husband's family are all baby hungry freaks that wouldn't leave me alone if I was just in another room-and neither home is ideal for welcoming visitors.
Then I sit and think, "Idiot! You've wanted a home birth for SO long, and it's really truly happening, what are you thinking?!?!?!?!" In all honesty, I'd venture to guess I have (at least) slight depression, which is serving to make me somewhat apathetic toward a homebirth-like I just really don't care anymore at this point, KWIM? Because I switched to my current OB who is so hands off, most (admittedly not all) of my concerns about a hospital birth are gone, but it still wouldn't be without having to advocate for myself on certain things...plus it's still the hospital.
I'm just really at a loss for trying to decide what to do, and I'm due in less than 4 weeks. I know I really need to stop going back and forth, but I have very few people IRL that I can talk to objectively, because they either aren't interested enough to give an opinion, or think I'm nuts for even thinking about birthing outside of a hospital ("How will you get your epidural???").
I just really need to "talk" things through with other like minded mamas. If you've made it this far,...thanks!
This is going to be my first homebirth (I wanted one with my last, but was never able to find a MW in the area). I had actually resigned myself to a hospital birth this pregnancy after not being able to find a HB MW, and had switched to an OB known for being very hands off and a non interventionist.
Around 24 weeks I was finally able to find a HB MW, and liked her immediately. Not only is she willing to let us extend payments well beyond my due date because of my husband being unemployed, but she also has room in her home for me to labor and birth in, since neither of my other options are really ideal-and I'm very comfortable in the space she has.
Well, I had every intention of dropping my OB when I signed on with my MW, but have since learned that in my state, having a homebirth can jeopardize your insurance when you have Medicaid, and instead of taking that chance, I've been doing shadow care with the OB-so as far as he's concerned, we're a go for me having the baby in the hospital.
Basically where I'm at with things, is that as much as I want a home birth, I'm also thinking about those first couple days with a newborn. If I have a home birth that puts me at either my inlaws' or my mother's +/-12 hours after the baby is born. Granted, I'm going to be at one or the other within a few days of the birth anyway, but in the back of my head, I just feel like maybe the 48 hours or so in the hospital with nothing going on but hanging out and meeting the baby would be less stressful than being at either home. Not only that, but then I'd be at the hospital for everyone to come see the baby, and that kind of appeals to me, because my husband's family are all baby hungry freaks that wouldn't leave me alone if I was just in another room-and neither home is ideal for welcoming visitors.
Then I sit and think, "Idiot! You've wanted a home birth for SO long, and it's really truly happening, what are you thinking?!?!?!?!" In all honesty, I'd venture to guess I have (at least) slight depression, which is serving to make me somewhat apathetic toward a homebirth-like I just really don't care anymore at this point, KWIM? Because I switched to my current OB who is so hands off, most (admittedly not all) of my concerns about a hospital birth are gone, but it still wouldn't be without having to advocate for myself on certain things...plus it's still the hospital.
I'm just really at a loss for trying to decide what to do, and I'm due in less than 4 weeks. I know I really need to stop going back and forth, but I have very few people IRL that I can talk to objectively, because they either aren't interested enough to give an opinion, or think I'm nuts for even thinking about birthing outside of a hospital ("How will you get your epidural???").
I just really need to "talk" things through with other like minded mamas. If you've made it this far,...thanks!
You should have your 'home'birth at the midwife's! If you are comfortable w/her & that space, do that. Sounds like you would then be more at ease back at your mom's. Could your sis lend you her room for 2 days if she's able to stay at her boyfriend's? (So you have a bed?) Or even back at your own room at the in-laws, either way I think a home is usually more restful that a hospital. Hospitals aren't that relaxing, with getting checked on every 2-4 hours, vitals, procedures, nursery visits, etc.
