Would this make you mad?

[widemouthedfrog]

I have a lovely friend. She is connected to a whole community of equally lovely people, many of whom hang out at my workplace as well.

We haven't been hanging out much this year, but about a month ago she told me that if I ate x,y,z diet and had enough faith in my body's ability to heal, I would be able to recover from or vastly improve my genetically-inherited disease.

I am not perfectly crunchy, and in fact I am likely one of the least-crunchy folks in this group of people. I do rely on modern medicine to survive. I value holistic living and holistic and natural healing and use them too, and I deeply believe in the value of positive thinking. I lost faith in my body for a while but have tried to regain this faith in my body. However, I believe that I cannot heal my organ that does not work, not spontaneously anyway.

Would you feel angry about this? I feel quite hurt by this and can't seem to get past it. I don't want to hang out with this group of people at the moment, and I encounter them frequently. I feel like I'm in high school all over again, and that any conversation that involves my feelings will likely result in a "but you are wrong and I am right" statement.

[Carhootel]

I honestly wouldn't have my feelings hurt but I would just think it was a bit odd.

Do you get the sense that she would judge you for not following her advice? If yes, then I would probably be annoyed and a bit pissed. If you think she was just trying to give you some advice and coming from a place of support for your disease then I would just say 'thanks for the advice' or maybe 'that's so interesting, I'll have to learn more about this diet....' and Re: the having more faith in your body's ability to heal - we can all always have more so you can just nod in agreement with that I'd say.

If you argue the point you'll make a mountain out of what could just be a molehill so I'd personally try to let it go, nod in agreement and trust that you and your trusted health professionals understand more of what your body is going through than this friend does. Unless this friend is an educated health professional (western medicine or not) I wouldn't take any of her health advice too seriously.

[*bejeweled*]

Originally Posted by widemouthedfrog

Would you feel angry about this? I feel quite hurt by this and can't seem to get past it. I don't want to hang out with this group of people at the moment, and I encounter them frequently. I feel like I'm in high school all over again, and that any conversation that involves my feelings will likely result in a "but you are wrong and I am right" statement.

I would feel very hurt if I were in your situation. Angry too.

It's so easy for people on the outside to have all the "answers". I'm sure she has no idea what your life is like and how you hurt sometimes. Oh, this angers me to no end. My DH has a chronic illness and so many people have "the cure" for him. They have no idea what it is like for him. Sometimes I wish they could walk in his shoes for just a day.

[*bejeweled*]

I'd suggest taking some time for yourself, away from this group, for as long as you need to.

Originally Posted by widemouthedfrog

I don't want to hang out with this group of people at the moment, and I encounter them frequently. I feel like I'm in high school all over again, and that any conversation that involves my feelings will likely result in a "but you are wrong and I am right" statement.

[palmgal]

I feel your pain. I have type 1 diabetes and have beem told that I can "cure it" but 1) not eating sugar 2) having gastric bypass surgery (I am not overweight) or 3) eating a totally raw foods diet. Truth of the matter is I would die without insulin, my body makes no insulin on its own. It takes a lot of energy not to be rude back, because it often comes from a combination of ignorance and a desire to "help". I do not know how I would react if this advice was coming from a close friend, or one who refused to let it go.

[widemouthedfrog]

I also have type one diabetes.

My friend knows that this is genetically inherited and that it means that one of my parts doesn't work at all - at least I think that she does. I've explained that I will die without insulin. Even the raw food sites that she's directed me to state that people with type one should remain on insulin - they don't want to be liable for deaths!

In response to the first question, I don't feel like she would tell me she was judging me, but I do feel like she would be sad and feel that she was right and that I was a fool not to follow her advice.

It's a bit hard because I like the group of people and encounter them often. I am hurt because if it weren't for those visible disease, I would not have this issue with them. Then again, maybe it is a blessing that allows me to go my own way.

[karika]

People like me or your friend (I am guessing) do come off sounding judgmental perhaps. But there are people that have healed their type 1 diabetes. It has been done. She likely read about it and wants to share this information with you. I am sure taking insulin would be a part of the recovery process while your body adjusts to the new conditions. I don't know a whole lot about diabetes, but as long as you monitor your levels and adjust the insulin accordingly, I would see no harm in attempting what you read or hear about as a recovery. There is a movement in the world at present of taking responsibility for our physical realities. Eckhart Tolle speaks on this extensively. It is suggested that all disease is a product of the mind at some level. I do not have this ailment, so it is easy for me (and your friend it sounds like) to conjecture about such things. But you are living in your body and must be the caretaker for it. I believe you should hear your friend and learn more about what she is talking about. Imagine if you did not have type 1 diabetes any longer, what would your life look like? How could it change things for you? This is an article that links to a powerful free full length mp3 of a doctor talking about healing diabetes. http://www.naturalnews.com/028341_di...ing_foods.html Maybe you can talk to your friend about how she approached the subject and how it made you feel (if you are close enough) and then open yourself up to learning more? I know I have been told I come off sounding in a way I do not intend, but deep down, I only want to help others and the world. Perhaps your friend is only trying to help you see your situation differently?

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

I feel like it is very presumptious to say that if you follow someones advice completly, your health will improve. And if you dont, then its your fault you dont get better. Im actually insulted for you, OP. If your pancreas does not work, then your body can NOT produce insulin. Period.

I am sorry you are going through this op. Bad enough you are dealing with these health issues. You need support, not guilt trips.

[earthmama369]

I think her intentions were good but her approach was overzealous and oversimplified for what you're dealing with. I've had this happen, too. In fact, one individual absolutely insisted that if I ate a raw foods diet and just did it the "right" way, my IBS would be cured. Sure, a raw food diet can be healthy for some people. Raw foods are just about the worst thing I can eat. But she's so invested in her belief system that she just can't see around it. It's like wearing blinders all the time. This is the same kind of personality that, in a religious setting, often has trouble seeing that there are many paths up the mountain and faiths other than their own are valid.

I maintain healthy boundaries with people like that -- friendly interest in what they're saying but not letting myself get caught up in a frenzy about it. And I just try to model how I'd like information to be presented instead. Rather than "this will cure you, if you only think happy, positive thoughts and follow this routine," I'll say "I ran across some interesting information -- here's the resource if you want to check it out" (or something like that). That usually works with the more socially aware person. For someone who's really invested in their way of doing things being the right way for everyone, I often have to just pull back a bit, instead, and give us both some space.

[bluebirdiemama]

I think it makes sense that you would feel this way, considering she doesn't know what you go through, and she might seem to think she knows everything about it. But it doesn't sound lke it is her intention to be insulting. It sounds to me like she is just trying to help. If I were you I would; tell her how frustrating and dibilitating diabetes is, and tell her you will consider her advice,and you might even try it as much as the need for your medication allows. I would also tell her that since she doesn't know how demanding diabetes is that you would appreciate if she doesn't judge your "progress".
This is just what I would do... and I tend to be a bit.. blunt

Having said this I want to clarify that I do think you are justified in being upset. Diabetes is very hard to live with and peoplewho have not gone through that do not understand what it takes.

[A&A]

Ask her when she got her medical degree!

[mamalisa]

I run into a similar thing with my rheumatoid arthritis. Most often people assume it's the same thing "my grandma has". Yea, NO. Then there's always supplements, diets and all sorts of things they want to offer up. I'm pretty sure my specialist would have mentioned that eating broccoli will fix me right up thanks! It can be hurtful, especially when it comes from my sister. I smile and say thanks, I assume they are good intentioned.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by widemouthedfrog

I have a lovely friend. She is connected to a whole community of equally lovely people, many of whom hang out at my workplace as well.

We haven't been hanging out much this year, but about a month ago she told me that if I ate x,y,z diet and had enough faith in my body's ability to heal, I would be able to recover from or vastly improve my genetically-inherited disease.

I am not perfectly crunchy, and in fact I am likely one of the least-crunchy folks in this group of people. I do rely on modern medicine to survive. I value holistic living and holistic and natural healing and use them too, and I deeply believe in the value of positive thinking. I lost faith in my body for a while but have tried to regain this faith in my body. However, I believe that I cannot heal my organ that does not work, not spontaneously anyway.

Would you feel angry about this? I feel quite hurt by this and can't seem to get past it. I don't want to hang out with this group of people at the moment, and I encounter them frequently. I feel like I'm in high school all over again, and that any conversation that involves my feelings will likely result in a "but you are wrong and I am right" statement.

I don't know if I'd be angry, but I'd definitely be hurt. I find it really hard to take when people take the "if you did X, then Y would happen" attitude about things. There are no guarantees about this kind of thing, yk?

*HUGS*

[journeymom]

Frankly I'd want to kick her a**, but Carhootel's response is probably better.

[widemouthedfrog]

journeymom - (snort). Ahem.

I guess what I feel is that a statement like that is inherently judgemental. Like saying, "Look at me, I am not sick, therefore I am doing the right thing and you should do what I do. Look at you, you are sick, therefore you did or are doing the wrong thing. I know what the right thing is - and you must do x,y and z like I am doing or you are wrong."

In my case, the "wrong thing" that I did was get pregnant when my blood sugar was wonky. I didn't know it at the time, and I would have postponed pregnancy or adopted if I had known. Pregnancy put great stress on my pancreas and exacerbated a problem that I didn't know existed. I guess I brought that into my life, yes, but not knowingly.

I believe in the power of thought to change my world, but I also believe that some things are part of a much larger sequence of events that individuals cannot control. If a drunk driver hits you with his car, is it because you brought this into your life? I have a hard time believing this. I think that the actions of the universe cannot be controlled by one person's thought patterns, but are controlled by everyones' interactions. Sorry to wax philosophical there.

FWIW, I have been considering a move to a lower-carb, more vegan diet just to see what happens, as I think that it's a healthy thing for my body to do.
As for curing type 1, I don't think that it can be cured, but I think that it can be caught early and treated to a degree. If it is caught in the early stages while you are still producing insulin, I think that a low-carb diet (and raw vegan can be that) would allow a person to maintain insulin production for a longer time, especially in the case of slow-progressing type 1.

[windsorheightsmom]

I totally understand why you feel hurt. I would probably try to put some emotional distance between myself and this person, but feeling angry is giving her more power over your life than she deserves. I would just think of her as a clueless person, not necessarily malicious, but like someone who believes the world is flat.

[Harmony08]

She sounds "crunchier than thou". She may have meant well but she didn't do well. That was an insensitive and dumb thing to say. I think this is one of those situation where you obviously shouldn't give her another thought but it is so irritating!

[lolar2]

People like that.... If I feel generous, I let it go once or twice. If they keep bringing it up, I avoid them (unless I have to be in contact for work or something, in which case I just put up with it and change the subject). It's like people who want to bug you about your birth choices or whatever, yk?

[zinemama]

I would just roll my eyes and ignore it. Some people have really drunk a little too much kool-aid.