Fighting for a natural birth

[help]

I'm delivering in a hospital and planned on doing a water labor/birth. I've fought, fought, fought for a natural birth this entire pregnancy and it's wearing on my nerves. I'm about 39 weeks pregnant and I'm tired of fighting. My husband was not open to a home birth. My OB is not interested in a water birth, but says a water labor is ok with him. The hospital is now saying that I cannot labor in the water if my water breaks. I've tried to tell them that many hospitals allow water births, but they're saying there's a risk of infection. I don't know what to do, but I'm running out of time.

Comments? Suggestions? The hospital asked me if I planned on delivering in the water, and I said that if I make it to 10 cm in the water, there may be no way that you could get me out of the tub. Can I refuse to get out of the tub? Can I refuse the procedure of staying out of the tub if my water breaks? They've even quizzed me on why I have it in my birth plan that I don't want the eye drops for the baby.

Thanks!

[Mama Lo]

Try not to let them stress out so much! A couple thoughts for you...
1. if your water breaks in the tub, how will they know :
2. if you're water breaks before you get to the hospital, maybe you don't have to mention it right away.
Try not to worry about it too much, I chose my hospital over another because I could labor in the tub and with broken water. But by the time I got to the hospital I was 9cm and I never used it. You never know what will happen. :

[simple life]

Excellent advice!

It is So wearing to have to fight constantly for everything. I had to do that with my first, it was awful.

I ssecond just not telling them. I also would just ignore them or flat out refuse to get out if they told me to. Have you thought of hiring a doula? She could be very helpful in helping to keep them from bugging you.

Is your husband on your side?

I wish you a peaceful birth without annoying interruptions.

Julie

[mamallama]

Honestly, I think you should just stay at home for as long as you can. Go in pushing.

Why use any of your birthing energy for fighting??

[emnic77]

Agree with above, I see two options:
1) go in pushing
2) labor in the tub as planned. If you notice your water breaking, say nothing. If they harass you to get you out the tub, time it so a BIG CONTRACTION hit JUST as you were trying to get out, so you know, you have to sink back into the tub for that contraction. Then when it's over, you know, you just need a minute to rest again before the next one...repeat ad naseum. I mean, I doubt they're going to physically PULL you out of the tub. They are counting on you to just do as your told. So...don't. If you don't want to.

I too had that issue at the hospital, and I stupidly told the midwife that I thought my water broke when I got out of the tub and sat on the toilet. I wasn't "allowed' to get back in the tub. My water hadn't broken, it didn't break until my son's head was totally out. But having to get out of the tub *during transition* for good threw me off in a big way and took me straight out of my "zone" which really, really sucked, especially when I felt like I had to push.

[mntnmom]

If you don't let them break your water for you, odds are it won't break until very late in labor anyway.
I second staying home (take a nice warm bath/shower) as long as you can, and then, tell them as little as you need to, and labor where you like!
Will hubby support your choices? Do you have a doula?
Another thought: which things are the most important to you, which are less important, and which are "nice to have"? If you have to fight, save most of your energy for your highest priorities. But here's hoping that isn't an issue!!

[RedOakMomma]

I would have liked a water birth, but at the hospital we chose they didn't have birthing tubs. Know what? It was still a fantastic, magical, natural birth...you can have a GREAT natural birth without water, or with just part of your labor in water.

Personally, I wouldn't lie about your water breaking and get into the tub. You don't know what that will cause...will the hospital then insist on IV antibiotics to treat any possible infection? Will your baby need to be treated differently?

I would labor at home for as long as you can...perhaps even have a labor pool for that, if you really want the experience of water. But I would NOT go in pushing. With my second birth I labored at home (loved it), but then had to do the car ride during transition. NOT FUN. The baby was born shortly after reaching the hospital.

Another thing to consider is if you "go in pushing," you don't know if your OB will be able to make it in time. You may get stuck with an OB or midwife who has very different birthing ideals than you, or nurses/OBs who don't have a chance to read your birth plan because it's so last-minute. That puts you at risk for a lot of procedures and birthing methods you may not want.

It's worth it, at least to me, to go in a little earlier, have a chance to settle in before transition/pushing hits, have a chance for doctors and nurses to read your birth plan, and have a chance to request naturally-minded nurses and have your OB show up.

[mambera]

Yeah, I did the go-in-pushing thing. In retrospect I'm glad because it meant an intervention-free labor with no fighting or anything, but yeah the car ride was HORRIBLE. I wouldn't do it intentionally unless you live 10 minutes or less from the hospital.

I agree with pps who have said not to stress this too much. Most likely your water won't break until late in labor. If it breaks in the tub nobody has to know. It's so hard to predict how your labor is going to go, you could give yourself an ulcer trying to cover all the possibilities.

[*MamaJen*]

It's not too late to switch to a birth center or homebirth midwife. I have a friend who realized that her OB was intervention-happy and switched to a homebirth midwife at 38.5 weeks. She had a wonderful homebirth a few days later.
Besides that, you should seriously consider getting a doula. It's so hard to advocate for yourself during labor. A doula can help do that for you.

[help]

Thanks guys. I do have a doula, but she's also a midwife in another state and is gone some of the time. That's the only doula that I could find that would take me, and she was my favorite anyway. The other two in our area couldn't (one was due when I was and the other didn't want any more clients). We don't have any birth centers around here and my husband won't let me deliver at home. I'm also group b strep positive, and I had planned on laboring at home most of the time, but not now since I'll have to go in for antibiotics. I was group b strep positive with my son, but I've tried different natural treatments this time to keep from being positive, but apparently they didn't work.

I'll fill you all in when it's all said and done.

[RedOakMomma]

I'm GBS+ and still labored at home for almost all of my labor (though a bit too much if you see my post above). It doesn't take long to get the antibiotics you need...if you go in when your contractions are 4-5 minutes apart, you should be able to get them no problem. Just don't dilly-dally once the 4-5 minute ones hit.

[elmh23]

The hospital I delivered my newest one at has a no water birth policy. My plan was to labor and birth in the tub. My friend who is a L&D nurse there just said to refuse to get out (In the end, the water HURT LIKE HELL, but this guy was OP and anything other than on hands and knees hurt like hell.)

[belltree]

Originally Posted by mambera

Yeah, I did the go-in-pushing thing. In retrospect I'm glad because it meant an intervention-free labor with no fighting or anything, but yeah the car ride was HORRIBLE.

I agree. I had a 40min car ride through flooded streets being in transition. But seriously I would always do it again, if that protects me from interventions in the hospital.

If I'd only live 10min away from the hospital I'd have a homebirth.

[*MamaJen*]

Will your husband be your advocate during birth? If you're not sure if the doula can be there, depending on how supportive your husband is, he might be able to fill that role. He would have to understand that sometimes having a natural birth in a hospital means actively fighting off unwanted interventions.

[kryztuh]

Good luck with this! I also was in transition during a 30 minute car ride and it was AWFUL, but I got there ready to push and it was the best I could hope for.

In regards to birthing in the tub...it's unlikely they will physically remove you from the tub, but very likely that they will just drain the tub if you refuse.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

[help]

My husband will advocate fairly well, he agrees with many of my beliefs (non-vaccinating, no eye ointment or vit k shot), but some of the things, he's more mainstream on. I wouldn't expect him to get too involved with the laboring phase, he still doesn't think I'll make it without an epidural since I had one last time (after being induced, which was awful...but I had no plan for a natural birth last time).

[Cheshire]

I would labor at home for as long as you can...perhaps even have a labor pool for that, if you really want the experience of water. But I would NOT go in pushing. With my second birth I labored at home (loved it), but then had to do the car ride during transition. NOT FUN. The baby was born shortly after reaching the hospital.

I'm surprised my daughter wasn't born in our car last summer. I labored at home and we were ready to go but had to wait on my parents to arrive and pick up our son. Finally, I was ready to just take him with us because my contractions were one on top of the next when they got there. The car ride was horrible (DH said it took me five minutes just to get my seat belt fastened, he was watching the clock). The wheelchair ride from valet to L&D was also awful.

But, I wouldn't change a thing. As soon as I got to observation and put on the gown my water broke all over their floor. The nurse had to check me while I was standing up because I couldn't get on their bed. She flipped and sent us running (well, them running, I did manage to get on the bed when she said we had to go) to the labor rooms. As soon as I rolled into the room I pushed my daughter out in two pushes. My doc missed it, the midwife on duty wasn't even all gowned up, it was chaos and perfect. If I had arrived sooner I would have asked for an epi because I really wanted one when I was standing over our kitchen sink trying not to throw up.

Seriously, if the hospital is giving you that much grief now just know that it is a possibility you'll have to fight that battle while in labor. If you can't find someplace that is more natural friendly be prepared to battle but I wouldn't lie about anything, water breaking, etc.

Best wishes!

[*MamaJen*]

Originally Posted by help

My husband will advocate fairly well, he agrees with many of my beliefs (non-vaccinating, no eye ointment or vit k shot), but some of the things, he's more mainstream on. I wouldn't expect him to get too involved with the laboring phase, he still doesn't think I'll make it without an epidural since I had one last time (after being induced, which was awful...but I had no plan for a natural birth last time).

It kind of sounds like you need to sit down with your husband and have a serious conversation about how you want this birth to go and what you need from him. Sometimes guys are really scared about birth and don't know what to do. It can help if you clearly lay out your needs/desires/expectations.
For example, you could tell him that you want him to not encourage the epidural, ask him to learn some massage points, tell him some things to say if you ask for the epidural, tell him a list of things that he should tell the hospital staff you want to avoid during labor, and advocate for you in reference to them (pitocin, artificial rupture of membranes, epesiotemy, purple pushing, laboring on your back, continuous fetal monitoring, etc.). Do you have a copy of "Your Best Birth"? Maybe you could go over it together.
It's really important that he be your partner DURING the labor, not just after the birth with things like vit. k shots and whatnot. It'll make it that much harder to have the birth you want if your husband is telling you that you can't do it and to just get the epidural. That's not being supportive. He needs to be supportive.

[RedOakMomma]

Is your husband a reader, or someone who likes to educate himself before an experience? If so, pick up a copy of Penny Simkin's' "Birth Partner" book. It's fantastic. My husband thought it was a really great read (directed at husbands and other birth partners, rather than pregnant women), and it helped him be a FANTASTIC birth partner.

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by *MamaJen*

It's not too late to switch to a birth center or homebirth midwife. I have a friend who realized that her OB was intervention-happy and switched to a homebirth midwife at 38.5 weeks. She had a wonderful homebirth a few days later.
Besides that, you should seriously consider getting a doula. It's so hard to advocate for yourself during labor. A doula can help do that for you.

If you are going to consider switching to HB, there are lots & lots of great resources for helping sell DH on the idea. Check out the HB forum. My favorite points in favor of it are the fact that 1/3 of all births in the Netherlands are HB & their rates of maternal & fetal mortality are leaps & bounds better than ours! & Dr. Marsden Wagner, former head of maternal & child health for WHO, is a big advocate of it - and speaks out AGAINST typical American maternity care!

I accidentally did ALL My laboring at home - and I had a 25 min car ride! I'd absolutely, positively, rather labor at home then in the hospital- and mine is a baby-friendly hospital! just the intensity of transition in a strange place with strange people around me - I dunno, I didn't experience it, but I'm pretty certain it would have been worse than laboring in the comfort of my home, & fighting the urge to push while in the car.

My doula was kind enough to drive us - so with the seats down in the back of her van, I was able to lay down on my left side for the drive. (If I'd been sitting up & strapped into the car, maybe my opinion would differ on this issue!)

& I'm surprised to hear so many people saying NOT to lie about water breaking! Generally I read on MDC that people DO recommend doing that! and/or lying about WHEN it broke - b/c often if you haven't birthed within 24 hours of ROM, they'll want to CS you!!!

Isn't the whole point of "declining interventions" etc. about taking charge of your OWN healthcare?! If YOU feel comfortable laboring in water with ruptured membranes (but you know they won't "let" you do so) then, of course you should lie! i.e. make the decision for yourself & take the actions YOU feel are best!