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Fighting for a natural birth - Page 2

post #21 of 27
4/12/10 at 5:54pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the suggestions. It's a mess. We'll see what happens, I'm going to talk to my husband tonight, but things are kinda rough between us. I pray my doula will be able to make it, as long as she's not at work delivering babies in IL, she should be able to...
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post #22 of 27
4/13/10 at 8:30pm
Your husband won't LET you? Oh dear, my personal pet peeve. I would love to see my husband try to tell me where I am allowed to give birth. If he ever grows a uterus, he can pick birth place. Til then, MY choice is the default. He can try to convince me to go elsewhere but it's on HIM to do the work. Perhaps if you put it to him this way (you know, but nicer), the research will convince him without you doing anything.
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post #23 of 27
4/14/10 at 1:53am
Quote:
Originally Posted by SublimeBirthGirl View Post
Your husband won't LET you? Oh dear, my personal pet peeve. I would love to see my husband try to tell me where I am allowed to give birth. If he ever grows a uterus, he can pick birth place. Til then, MY choice is the default. He can try to convince me to go elsewhere but it's on HIM to do the work. Perhaps if you put it to him this way (you know, but nicer), the research will convince him without you doing anything.
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post #24 of 27
4/14/10 at 1:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by SublimeBirthGirl View Post
Your husband won't LET you? Oh dear, my personal pet peeve.
Yeah, I totally see that. This issue comes up often & I know many who say, "My vagina, my birth, my choice." But the fact of the matter is that it's OUR baby -and birth is slightly more dangerous for the baby than the mama, so I'd say the Dad absolutely, definitely should have some degree of say in the matter.

And I absolutely, definitely can see how, and why, Dads would oppose HB. It's our American culture --> Um, AMA & ACOG oppose it! They don't want to take needless, dangerous risks with the lives of their children. I can see that.

So, education is key, IMO.

It takes time, knowledge, and an open mind to come around to HB when you're starting from a mainstream perspective & you've had no exposure to it (i.e. no HBing friends.) I didn't come around to it in time for my DS birth! (of course, my stupid Bradley teacher told me it was illegal in Maryland & I believed her & wasn't comfortable with the idea of an illegal "renegade" midwife. Now I'm fine with using a CPM (and it's true the CPM designation is illegal in Maryland, although CNMs can attend HB legally & we do have 2 of them now in the Baltimore area.) But it took time for me! And lots of reading & exposure to it first.

Anyway, if given the choice between a blatantly anti-natural birth hospital and OB, vs. battling with DH to prove to him that HB is safe, I'd choose the latter route. I'd just tread very carefully so he doesn't feel forced into it - no one likes to feel forced into anything. No one likes to feel they have no choice in a matter. I'd be simultaneously educational & manipulative.
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post #25 of 27
4/15/10 at 9:07pm
Do you have a natrual-birth-minded friend who could be your support person if your doula can't make it? Or at least one who is supportive even if it's not something she would choose? I would worry about your husband's attitude during birth. You need someone on your side. And, in general, no matter how loving and supportive your dh is, many men are just lost at birth and have no idea how to help support you. They just don't like to see you in pain, and will do whatever it takes to stop it (like encouraging you to get the epidural, even if that's not really in yours and baby's best interest).

It really sucks that women have to fight to have a normal labor and birth experience.
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post #26 of 27
4/16/10 at 1:18am
Is there a hospital midwife in your area that you could use instead of the OB? Someone who's comfortable with water birth?
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post #27 of 27
4/16/10 at 3:04am
What you're dealing with is exactly why I will not have this baby in a hospital unless it is a true emergency. In an emergency, I'm totally OK with all the interventions they want, because at that point, I know I have done everything I can to birth a healthy baby and it is then up to modern medicine.

It sounds like you have educated yourself very well, and you know inside what you need to do. You dont need hospital staff telling you what to do, so ignore them, and labor how you need to. If this means you have to lie, and battle your way to labor how you need to, that is what you do.

Good Luck.
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