A question and an AARGH!

[kcparker]

I am not sure where to post this, but I am not finding good answers, and this is driving me a little batty. I pump every day at work. We take DS2 to a sitter 3 mornings a week when DH teaches a class. DH takes expressed milk in a bottle to the sitter, plus some extra in a jar. Usually, the jar comes home empty, and there is a some milk in the bottle, sometimes 1 oz., sometimes 3 or 4 oz. DH brings DS2 to me at my office to nurse at lunchtime, straight from the sitter, and then he takes DS2 home until I return from work. Frequently in the hours after I get home, I find this same bottle of milk that was in the diaper bag sitting out, forgotten, on a table at our house, sometimes with less milk in it than when it was in the diaper bag at work, sometimes with new milk added from another bottle that had been in the fridge. DH cavalierly tells me tonight, "Oh, that was old milk." Nope, dude, I know what jar I filled YESTERDAY at work, and that's the one I see sitting empty on the kitchen counter. It was not "old." I tossed it because when I found it, it had been sitting out for at least 5 hours. I have tried to put smaller amounts in the bottles I save so he's not pouring 8 oz. of milk into the feeding bottle, but he will still have 1-3 oz. just sitting out. I think because he doesn't want to have to warm something up if baby is hungry NOW, and he thinks that if it's room temp., it's better than fridge-chilled+waiting time.

So, my questions are:
1. If the milk is previously frozen, how long can it sit at room temp. and be "okay"? I know it is supposed to be used within 24 hours of thawing (according to my Medela fridge magnet, anyway).
2. If the milk was pumped fresh and put in the fridge initially, how long can it sit at room temp. and be okay? If baby drinks only 2 oz. of the 4 in the bottle, can DH put it back in the fridge and rewarm it later, is it better to leave it out all day as he is wont to do, and at what point does it have to be tossed?
3. Am I being unreasonable in being a bit ticked off that I pump, in addition to nursing two kids, and he doesn't treat this milk as if it is a precious resource? I want to scream at him sometimes, "Dude, this is my LIFE ENERGY, and you are wasting it by leaving it out instead of putting it back in the fridge if the baby doesn't drink it all."

[mntnmom]

I can't answer the technical questions. But I would be a little ticked. Pumping was very hard for me, so luckily I didn't *have* to. But I can imagine how you feel!! Clearly your DH doesn't realize what a big deal it is. I can understand him wanting to save himself a few minutes of hungry baby time. Mom gets the "instant baby food", dad has to warm a bottle. Hopefully you can talk out a compromise, even if it's just him acknowledging how valuable that milk is!!

[karika]

I don't have an answer for any of your questions, but wanted to say, yes, it is your life energy. pumping at work is an ordeal, and should be respected. you make food! rawr! I went back to work after dd1 and daddy stayed home. we never used bottles and he didn't warm the milk at all. We would keep a thawed bag in fridge and he would pour a very small amount into a clean baby food jar. She would drink it right from that, just like water. We didn't use sippy cups either. We did try it warmed, but she didn't like it. Perhaps your child would take it cold. If so, that is much easier on the caregiver. Then he only need get a small amount at a time, yet you can continue to fill your bags so as to get the best use of them. Just a thought.

[pbjmama]

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/milkstorage.html

Previously frozen milk may be kept in the refrigerator for up to 24 hours after it has finished thawing. If baby does not finish milk at one feeding, it may be refrigerated and offered at the next feeding before it is discarded.

You should read all the info at the link but this gives you some answer to your question. And yes, I would let your dh know how you feel when breast milk is wasted. Would he leave out food from one meal to another?

[PGTlatte]

When I was pumping and storing milk in the fridge, I used masking tape and a Sharpie to label each container with the date it was pumped. I wonder if that might help your DH with keeping the "new" and "old" straight ? I know it is super frustrating when the milk and the time it takes to pump it is not respected.