DSHS took kids, mom rehab, can baby be adopted? - Page 2

[HappyMommy2]

Originally Posted by pumpkingirl71

I am in MA. My daughter is one of four siblings and she is the only one who has been adopted. I am trying not to get too emotional about my answer, but what my daughter had go through before her birthparent's right were terminated was unthinkable. It blows my mind that she has custody of any of her children. I will try to answer any state specific questions you have, but my daughter was adopted four years ago. Also, we are a kinship adoption and it took us about 18 months to bring dd home. This is a very complicated process.

Thanks PumpkinGirl. It is so difficult to think of what this innocent baby has gone through... definitely severe neglect, perhaps even abuse. Clearly the mom is not capable of caring for her kids now. In order to do it in the future, she has a lot of work to do. I'm not sure what kind of wake up call she needs. Losing your kids seems like the bottom-of-the-barrell to me.

18 more months is just horrendous to think about. And this is a very important time in her life. At least she is with foster parents, but I wish she could go to a permanent positive solution.

Since the mom is open to adoption, and we have a family that is very interested & has done tons of the preparation for adoption, it is frustrating to think that we can't just make a match and help the baby start a brand new life.

[queenjane]

Originally Posted by HappyMommy2

Since the mom is open to adoption, and we have a family that is very interested & has done tons of the preparation for adoption, it is frustrating to think that we can't just make a match and help the baby start a brand new life.

Its possible that the baby is placed in a family that would LOVE to adopt her. If the mom truly feels she can't parent the baby, she *can* choose to give up her parental rights. I know when my son was placed with me at three weeks of age, it was such a blessing because it was a case that went very quickly to adoption and i had been trying to adopt for awhile at that point. I was totally willing to "just foster" but my ultimate goal was adoption (if not with THAT child then with another)...and we lived with the fear that he would be given to a relative for months until the relative stepped back (the bmom wasnt really ever an option, she didnt seek reunification.)

Obviously, you dont know if the baby is in a "good" foster home, you dont know if she is in a home that does wish to adopt (if thats the final outcome), you dont know if she is in a home who will keep her the duration and not get bounced around in FC. Those are the scary unknowns. But its possible that her FP is on some msg board right now, posting about her new placement and how she prays that somehow, the baby gets to stay. Just wanted to offer a perspective from a foster parent POV...i would have just about died if my then-foster son had been moved after some months to a non-relative who knew a relative of his bio mom.

Is anyone "in the family" an option? Someone who lives closer, preferably in the same state or even county? What about the father of the baby or his side of the family?