If you're not a perfect co-sleeping "pair"...

[Beauchamp]

Do you still get the benefits of co-sleeping if your baby is all over the bed during the night? Mine flops and moves everywhere, sometimes into her sidecar crib, and all over the bed. She flops and sleeps with her bum in my face, her arm over my head, her feet on my belly, etc.

I reread Dr. Sears talking about a "sleeping pair" of mama and baby facing each other, taking deep breaths at the same time, etc. That's just not me! I try to co-sleep, and maybe I am failing at it. We're not a "pair" so much. When DD does nurse and fall back asleep, I usually slide away from her very quickly so I don't wake her up. I scoot away and either face her or face away from her. I don't feel ultra-connected to her sleep cycle. I wonder if there is something more I need to do. She wakes so frequently lately that I feel like I am doing something wrong. All of the "you'll be sorry!" lectures from people about sleep sharing are haunting me.

Are we still getting some benefit to co-sleeping like this, or should I work on getting her to sleep up against me?

[Louisep]

Oh mama hugs, you're fine! Babies move a lot in their sleep, especially at your LO's age. My son went through a terrible phase of rolling around and crawling in his sleep that ended once he was crawling well.

We have been through so many phases - sleeping way apart and then ds spooning me, although I too to this day cannot sleep with him up against me.

Your dd is getting benefits, but as others on here will say, it has to work for both of you an quite honestly, through ds's horrendous sleep phases cosleeping helped my sanity by giving me the most rest. So the benefits are not just for your LO but you too.

I think the cosleeping pair Sears refers to is when they are newborns. But I also don't think all mother baby pairs will fit that stereotype.

You're doing great.

[Beauchamp]

Originally Posted by Louisep

...I too to this day cannot sleep with him up against me.

I think the cosleeping pair Sears refers to is when they are newborns. But I also don't think all mother baby pairs will fit that stereotype.

Oh, thanks!!! I was seriously thinking everyone that has a positive co-sleep experience was all cuddled up snugly with their LOs. I have been feeling so...I can't say unloved, because I know DD loves her mama...but I don't know...I guess I just thought she was "supposed to" want to cuddle up with me, as if cuddling mama would be the ultimate way to relax for her. But it's not. I probably am over thinking this! I am sleep deprived for sure!

[KatWozBlue]

My son and I were the perfect co sleeping pair, we would just cuddle and he would snuggle and touch my face, sigh, it was nice.

Then I had my daughter who kicked, cried, moved around, whined, etc. I was so sad because it had been so nice with my son and was so crappy with her. She drove me crazy and just didn't like to sleep so close to us.

Literally she didn't sleep thru the night until we moved her to her own bed after 2 years of torture :-). Now at age 3 she is literally the best sleeper ever, in bed at 7 and wakes up at 7-7:30 without a peep. I wish we had been a better fit, but we just weren't.

So, not every experience is the same and you have to find what works for you.