ppd help, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nick&jonmom]

I need some help!! I definatel;y have ppd and to top it off it comes for me with insomnia...it's like I completely lose teh ability to fall asleep and with a 3 wk old baby and a 4yo and 8yo ds it doesn't work out very well!!!!! I am on 10mg of lexapro, which I just uped to that last week from 5 mg, but not feeling too good from it yet.

Please tell me that I am not going to die from lack of sleep, please tell me that my life is not over, that I am still a good mom that I will get through this. I can't take sleeping pills/sedatives cause I have central sleep apnea, so I feel like there is no solution, I jsut feel trapped, so trapped that I dont' know which way to turn.

Any advice/stories? Any one else suffer from insomnia when have ppd?? I so need to know that I am not teh only one who has this, people always act so surprised that I can't sleep when baby sleeps, but I can't help it!

I feel like I'm losing my mind an dI cry all the time and I am so miserable....I think it is mostly sleep related cause If I get any sleep teh night before I'm much less emotional....

[welshwife08]

Originally Posted by nick&jonmom

Please tell me that I am not going to die from lack of sleep, please tell me that my life is not over, that I am still a good mom that I will get through this. I can't take sleeping pills/sedatives cause I have central sleep apnea, so I feel like there is no solution, I jsut feel trapped, so trapped that I dont' know which way to turn.

OF COURSE YOU ARE A GOOD, FANTASTIC MOTHER!!

I don't have any words of wisdom, but I couldn't read this post and not comment. You are very brave to recognize your symptoms and to reach out for help. That is such an important step--to realize you are having these feelings and not trying to go through this alone. I have had friends who had PPD and tried to be the "perfect mom" and suffered in silence. They wish they had spoken out and gotten support sooner.

Please take care of yourself. I'm sorry I can't offer any solutions for you.

[mymary]

Wow I cant believe no one else has replied to your post!!!

The lack of sleep is probably your NUMBER ONE problem!!!!

Nothing gets better until you somehow get more sleep. That is key.
Did you have PPD with your other two?
Central Sleep Apnea? What does your doctor say about getting some sleep?
It would be nice if you could take something to make you sleep while being closely monitored respiratory wise. I dont know how serious your apnea is.

I dont have a lot of answers because I have more questions to understand. But, I KNOW you will get through this somehow. You already have two older children that you have taken care of all this time and you will do it again. SOMEHOW.

Please try to self talk to yourself and outloud say that you ARE doing a great job just as you are and take it easy as much as possible. Tell yourself that you deserve to relax a little when the baby is sleeping. Just try to forget about the fact and the pressure that "I need to sleep NOW". Just let yourself do what your body wants to do normally.

Hope that helps some and hope to get an update on how you are doing.

[MiaMama]

I have suffered from insomnia on and off for years, and I know how debilitating it can be.

One thing I do is breathe deeply and slowly, counting the exhales. like *breathe in, breathe out 1*, then when I get to 10, I start back over at 1. Sometimes, I lose count and find myself at like 14, but I just start at 1 again in the next breath. It does not always get me to sleep, but I usually feel a bit more rested if I did this in a dark room than I would if I just let my mind wander. It is especially helpful when my brain won't stop thinking thoughts I don't like (like "I'm not a good enough mom") and that is why I can't sleep.

Also, if the weather is getting nicer where you are, can you sit out in the sun for a few min? My internal clock gets so messed up by being inside most of the day, then artificial lights at night. The ones that shine light directly into my eyes (screens, like computers and tvs) are the worst. I have to have all the screens off by a certain time, or my body won't believe it is nighttime. Sitting in the sun during the day is also supposed to help reduce PPD symptoms a bit, too. I know its not a cure, but if it reduces the severity of symptoms a little, then every little bit helps, right?

You are so strong speaking up, and I hope you can find the help you need.

[Juvysen]

W/Ds1, I had a serious lack of sleep (he started not sleeping around 6 months old and it lasted until around 18 months), and that's when my PPD kicked up... I'd say it definitely exacerbates things if not causing it!

What I've read about ppd - LOADS of fish oil and B vitamins can help. Like LOADS of it. Apparently that's one reason that the placenta eating thing can help - because it's loaded up with omega-3s and b-vitamins. So, can you get your hands on stuff like that? I know it's supposed to help with regular depression, too. And of course exercise is supposed to help, too, if you can get yourself moving.

Definitely get some sun if you can - if you can't, you could try a natural spectrum light bulb indoors during the day, and then keep your lights low during the evening.

Can you do something like melatonin? It's the natural hormone (?) that helps our bodies to go to sleep. It's pretty gentle (it's a supplement), so I'm not sure if it'd bother your sleep apnea or not. There's also homeopathics for insomnia... which technically don't have anything in it to actually *make* you sleep, so presumably you could take that and see if it helps.

I'd consider acupuncture, too, if they can do anything for you (I'd expect they can, but I don't know). I was really impressed when my midwife used acupuncture to get my placenta out. It came out *moments* after she did it, and this was after an hour and 20 minutes of waiting. Could be just coincidence, but she said every time she does it, it's just moments later that the placenta makes an appearance, so dunno. I'm a believer now.

As corny as it sounds, maybe there's some pro-you affirmations on a cd you could find? I know hypnobabies has links to a bunch of hypnosis tracks for depression and a lot more... I'd be tempted to try it... but they definitely have a hypnosis track for "peaceful sleep" for everyone. I think it's about $15...

[LittleLegos]

Oh Mama...so sorry you are hurting. It's great that you are reaching out. Are you able to reach out to people near you? Someone who can come over and be with you? Are there times in the day when you feel like sleeping, but feel you need to be awake for the kids? Maybe that is a time you can have someone come over and help out.

Sleep is key to so many things...I think working with your docs to figure something out for sleep would be really helpful.

Thinking of you and sending big hugs!

Keep reaching out.
Amy

[cocoanib]

(((HUGS)))
So sorry your going through this. You are not alone Mama.
I haven't been through ppd with insomnia, but I know that losing sleep will make anything worse. The first 3 weeks, i was unable to sleep when she would and everyone kept telling me to do just that. It was tuff and that was without ppd.

We are here for you, but please also reach out to someone near you. Someone who can come over and help you out or just talk for awhile. Keep us posted Mama.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I went through the same type of ppd with insomnia.

The only thing that helped me was zoloft and going to my parents and napping while mom watched dd.

[Lilcrunchie]

Can you get any relief...a part time sitter or post partum doula so you can nap? Even during the day?

I have insomnia and hypnobabies always helped a bit. Not sure if you've tried a sleep hypnosis option or would be interested. Hypnobabies does also have some sort of postpartum relaxation script...I looked into it as I told my DH that I always feel so amazing after doing hypnosis and needed something postpartum. Haven't done it yet or purchased it yet but I've considered it.
here's a link to it:
http://www.hypnobabies.com/mylink.php?id=4058

It is great you reached out for help and assistance and recognized what you are dealing with mama. Much love heading your way.

Agreeing w/ the others about fish oil, vitamin D (supplements and via sunlight), etc.

[PotreroHill]

I have no advice but wanted you to know I'm sending you a hug Hang in there, things will get better

[Plummeting]

Can you see a therapist? That's how I got over my PPD with DD1. I really don't respond well to SSRIs (they give me anxiety and insane insomnia), Wellbutrin (even worse insomnia), or tricyclics (non-stop sleeping and extreme weight gain, which NEVER get better, no matter how long I stay on). That leaves me without a whole heck of a lot of options, because after a while I just started assuming none of the ones I hadn't tried (I'd tried a LOT before becoming pregnant and was even on a new one when I got pregnant) would work. So I went to therapy. It worked like a charm. I didn't think it would - I'd guess I'd become kind of hopeless, since I'd already had therapy before - but it did work. I know you're probably extremely busy with three kids, but if you can do therapy at all I'd highly recommend it, along with the omega-3's.

I'm sorry you feel so awful. I also couldn't sleep well when DD1 was a baby. For one thing, I'm just not a napper, but at nights I couldn't sleep because I was kept up by horrible intrusive thoughts. Being tired DEFINITELY makes it all sooooo much worse. And I don't remember how old your LO is, but the first couple of months are just so difficult anyway. I just told DH this morning that the whole first month or two are such a roller coaster - one day everything seems like it's great and the next day I feel like I'm NEVER going to get my life back, NEVER going to get my house clean, NEVER going to do anything but take care of a baby and nak. Just remember that it won't always be as hard as it is now.

[nick&jonmom]

thank you so much all of you. just knowing i'm not alone is so helpful. i am taking fish oiland starting b complex today. i have herbal teas from my doula that i am starting also. i have some better nights then others and it is key to my mood i notice. i am forcing mtself outside in the sun and out to run errands etc...just anything that reminds me of who i am. i am continuing to get help and have a good group of women who are veery suportive and are coming over to visit and helping to get me out if the house...i have plans w/2 of them this week. biggest thing i am doing is reminding myself that this wont be forever, it wil pass, and someday i will sleep again, so i'm tryimg to just breath and relaxabout it all. i need to reinded of this though when i am at my lowest....
thank you and i will stay in toouch with you about how its going.

[Lilcrunchie]

Hang in there, mama. We're here for you anytime!

[Right of Passage]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this! I wish I had advice, but I'm no help. Sending you lots of love!

[Deir]

holding the baby and 1ht but- thinking of you!!!
do you take mag?

[Harmony08]

Oh I had horrible insomnia after ds was born. I would lie there watching him sleep for one whole hour...two whole hours...3 whole hours...4 whole hours and just sob because I was missing all of that precious precious live changing sleep that I wanted more than anything. It passed. I really think our hormones are just so wacked out in those first weeks/months. Just ride the waves and ask for the help you need. This too shall pass. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

[nick&jonmom]

Originally Posted by Deir

holding the baby and 1ht but- thinking of you!!!
do you take mag?

i do. i take a cal/mag suplement before bed and a small dose during the night to help relax me when babe goes back to sleep

[nick&jonmom]

Originally Posted by Harmony08

Oh I had horrible insomnia after ds was born. I would lie there watching him sleep for one whole hour...two whole hours...3 whole hours...4 whole hours and just sob because I was missing all of that precious precious live changing sleep that I wanted more than anything. It passed. I really think our hormones are just so wacked out in those first weeks/months. Just ride the waves and ask for the help you need. This too shall pass. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

sorry you went thru that, it is so scary to be in that place. again just knowing i'm not crazy and messed up, that it happens to other people helps soooooo much....and we get thru it to the other side....

[SamGroom]

So sorry you are going through this, I have never had ppd but had some insomnia at the beginning of my pregnancy and I know how lack of sleep can make you crazy.

I let the kids watch as much tv as they wanted, put on movies and made popcorn so I could lay down during the day.

Hot baths helped make me sleepy.

Hang in there it will end and you will feel like yourself again and you are a great mama.

[lizsky]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I don't seem to have ppd (at least not yet) but I have dealt with regular depression. I'm so glad you've already begun to get help and take care of yourself. I agree with pp ideas about getting childcare help from friends and family. Even if you can't nap, having some quiet uninterrupted time to take a bath, journal, listen to calming music might give you some relief. Will be thinking of you and do keep us updated.