WWYD? Replace toy destroyed by neighbor kid? And another question. - Page 2

[hakeber]

Originally Posted by mamazee

It was something that came with and used different liquid components that get used to make various things, and the friend poured all the ingredients together in one bowl and then poured them out onto the ground.

Isn't it possible to just buy replacement ingredients? Usually those sort of things also sell the ingredients seperately, no?

Just as another possible solution, maybe? She could save some pocket money and get the liquid stuff to play with it...what is it? a crystal maker?

[mamazee]

Originally Posted by hakeber

Isn't it possible to just buy replacement ingredients? Usually those sort of things also sell the ingredients seperately, no?

Just as another possible solution, maybe? She could save some pocket money and get the liquid stuff to play with it...what is it? a crystal maker?

No, it isn't that. I've looked and you can't get replacement liquids. I think that's where the expense is in the thing. It's just a few plastic bits otherwise.

[SunshineJ]

Yeah after 3 times neighbor kid wouldn't be playing at my house inside anymore and nicer outside toys would be out of reach when she came over. For the first time we're living in an area with lots of kids next door, so I understand better that you can't just tell the child to stay away too easliy, but I wouldn't be overly welcoming at this point.

I think your DH is off on this one. You stated in your OP that your DD did tell the girl not to do it, and that she was crying about it, so it's not like she just sat there laughing and didn't speak up any while this girl ruined her toy. That's not the same as being neglectful with a toy imo. But that's just my opinion and if you and DH are in accord then that's what matters.

[mamazee]

Well I agree, and while my dh is acting tough now, he's a huge softie and I bet within the next few weeks he either changes his mind or he just shows up with a replacement one day after work or something.

[claddaghmom]

Oh I would be soooo mortified lol. I would have given the other parent the money right there. And then I would have had the 8yo doing chores to pay back the debt. I mean, we're talking about 8yos! Wow.

I think your DH has a point but the moment is over. The moment for providing her with options to protect herself and her property was when the child was destroying it, and perhaps immediately after she could have accompanied you to the other household.

Maybe you should have the child over with supervision and see if another opportunity comes up...and beforehand you can practice things to say/do with your child.

[limabean]

Originally Posted by mamazee

The second time, the girl wanted something of my dd's and hit her and took it, and the parents did give it back.

She HIT her??? At age EIGHT???? I wouldn't be inviting her over to play anymore. That's way Way WAY past the age where kids should be hitting each other. I would have a talk with my DD about what it means to be a friend. Geographical proximity isn't enough to qualify, IMO.

[phathui5]

I would practice being assertive with her, but still replace the toy.

And probably not let that kid back in the house.

[LauraLoo]

I would replace the toy.

I would discourage this friendship, because it isn't a friendship. There's an unequal power balance here and since the other girls' parents are helping work things through, things are unlikely to get better any time soon.

And I would really talk to your dd about what friendship is and what friendship isn't. It concerns me that she would allow a friend to treat her this way (breaking toys, hitting her) -- and these are the events that you know about. I would bet there is a lot more that your dd hasn't shared with you. She deserves true friends. The sooner she can stand up for herself, the better.

[4evermom]

Now I'm really curious about what it was.

I've never come across something that I couldn't get replacement ingredients for...

[number572]

I see a double standard here in that your DH wants to teach your dd to be more assertive by not replacing the toy. BUT, he is not willing to be assertive and ask the neighbors pay to replace the toy. I think your dd may get a mixed message if she knows this.