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post #21 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by Landover View Post
Why on earth would you want to parent you child in a gender neutral way... you child is *not* gender neutral? This to me is akin to the whole... "We aren't racist because we don't see color... well, not seeing someone's color, embracing it, and loving it is racist."

My kiddos are stamped as either male or female and I want to celebrate the differences between the two based on that. Afterall, we are NOT the same.

I agree. I have a boy, not a gender neutral baby. Things can be gender neutral I suppose, but people are not.

My son wears blue a lot because he looks really really good in it. He happily plays in the toy kitchen at the library, and then runs over and knocks all the chairs down at the reading tables.

I read about the people who did not reveal their child's gender and meh-not interested in using my son as some kind of random social experiment.

Also, I did not like the publicity aspect they seemed to be courting as well. I really got the idea in the end it was about THEM, and not about their child.
post #22 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smokering View Post
I think there's a healthy middle ground between "pink" and "blue" parenting and gender neutral parenting.

I believe that on a bell curve, boys and girls are different. There's nothing wrong, IMO, with acknowledging the probability that girls might like/be like XYZ to a greater degree than boys, as long as you simultaneously acknowledge that they might not be. I think it's just as damaging to prevent a "girly" girl indulging her love for stereotypically girly things as it is to push those things on her. In theory, gender-neutral parents wouldn't necessarily do that, but I can imagine some would in practice (as it'd be a little embarrassing to preach about the virtues of gender-neutrality while yur daughter paraded past in a pink Princess tutu and glitter lipstick, pushing a pram - you know?).

So - I dunno. I'd need a better definition of "gender-neutral parenting", I think. What would it involve? Not pushing gender-specific toys and activities on kids? Not letting them use gender-segregated bathrooms? Allowing boys to wear girls' clothes if they want? Buying them an equal number of girls' and boys' clothes as a matter of course?

I think most kids are more "gender-neutral" than we give them credit for. People make comments about how maternal my two-year-old daughter is, because she's notoriously clucky around babies. But she also has perpetually skinned knees and loves trains, trucks, tractors and cars - "boy" things. I think people sometimes overlook the latter because they notice the baby thing first and peg her as a "girl". You know? They see what they expect to see. If she were a boy they might notice the cars thing more obviously, because they expected to find that attribute in her. Him. Whatever.
That exactly.

I have 2 boys. We've raised them to pick out whatever toys they want, which included my now almost 4 year old throwing a monsterous tantrum when my mom took him shopping once because all he wanted was a baby doll.

We've let them grow their hair long, which has brought on so many comments towards us for "allowing" it. They play with whatever they want. My 8 year old has corrected his teacher when she said pink was a girl color. My younger son requested I paint his toenails a pretty pink last night.

But they're both obsessed with guns, wrestling, sports, all the "typical" boy stuff. It's nothing we've done, it's just who they are. So I really don't care if my toenail painted young son wants to play lightsabers. We give them lots of choices and let them decide who they want to be.
post #23 of 97

clothing

I have a 21 month old sweet little girl. This seems to be a really hard age to find clothes that do not have a clear gender message. Even the polos for girls are 'girly'. And, I won't even go into the things they print on the shirts now. Well, I am sure you know. I try to block all that out.

My DD loves dinosaurs and tigers. She is not in balet. She doesn't even know what a princess is. She likes pink, but she also loves orange to death right now. She would love to wear a firetruck like her uncle drives.

I constantly go over to the boys side to look for clothes. I get nearly all her pants and shorts over there. I look for pink boy polos. I get her dino and tiger shirts. I got her plain khaki overalls from the boys dept, because every single girls' equivelant was pink and frilly. My husband constantly tells me, "that is boyish." I ask why, and it usually boils down to, "there is no pink."

She wears dresses. I just want her to know that she can wear things that aren't girly too. I don't want her to tell me a plain white polo is for a boy when she grows up.

However, when we go out I always make it quite clear she is a girl, whether through her hair, pink shoes, a pink hat, pink undershirt.

So I guess I am sending the message to her, "you can wear boys clothing, but you still are a girl." I consider myslef pretty progressive in this area but I guess I am not as far as GNP.
post #24 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by Landover View Post
Why on earth would you want to parent you child in a gender neutral way... you child is *not* gender neutral? This to me is akin to the whole... "We aren't racist because we don't see color... well, not seeing someone's color, embracing it, and loving it is racist."

My kiddos are stamped as either male or female and I want to celebrate the differences between the two based on that. Afterall, we are NOT the same.
I think a lot of differences between boys and girls, particularly color preferences and a lot of toy issues, are influenced by society much much more than gender. I want my dds to be raised free of assumptions of what their interests should be.
post #25 of 97
Quote:
I think a lot of differences between boys and girls, particularly color preferences and a lot of toy issues, are influenced by society much much more than gender. I want my dds to be raised free of assumptions of what their interests should be.
I think what you are describing is very different then gender neutral parenting. I think a lot of parents allow their children to explore whatever interests they have (especially if you have two different genders in the same home). I cook with, play babies with, etc. my son as much as I do my daughter. However, I would never be interested in not allowing my son to know that he is, indeed, a male. But he is free to play with whatever he wants.

For the record, my friends who identify with a different gender then their sex like to wear clothing and do activities that express their gender identification. Do deny a child the ability to do that just as bad (only the other end of the spectrum).
post #26 of 97
I'm a very androgynous person by nature. That is the way I've parented my two.

We petted snakes, hunted frogs in the pond, brushed hair, made crowns of flowers, used toy dump trucks to play in the mud, wore a lot of plain old t-shirts and jeans.... made cookies, played with sticks and sharp objects, went to art museums, played with baby dolls, climbed trees etc and so on

At one point, both my dd and my ds were obsessed with dinosaurs. Two years later they were both obsessed with trains. My daughter had favorite clothes with dinosaurs on them. My son wore a hat and Mardi gras necklace.

But, they knew that they were "a boy" and "a girl". We just downplayed those facts and concentrated on developing well rounded people. They are teens now and I'm so proud of them.
post #27 of 97
The biggie in trying to parent gender neutral is doing my best to not train my kid for any specific social role. I think this is huge, and is the reason why so many gendered clothes and toys bother the heck outta me.

We give lip sevice to the notion that girls can be anything they want to be when they grow up...firefighter, doctor, astronaut, palentologist...but then when you go to buy your girl a dinosaur shirt you HAVE TO get it in the boys section. Same with space themed stuff and firetrucks. Just the very fact that these things only exist in a section labeled "boys" is reinforcing the notion that they are not for your girl...and once your girl figures that our she is not going to want to wear them anymore. So then what?

Clothes for girls are usually themed simply "pretty" as if that is the most important role for a female. Flowers, kitties, frills, ginghams, more flowers..."pretty" is the role we are training them for.

I am hoping to instill my son (and future kids) with a sense of outrage over this. The social message is so duplicious it just pisses me off. I love to put my kid in purple (I personally hate pink...for anyone) and it ticks me off that I usually have to go to the "girls" section to find it. I have also noticed that the clothing sizes in the girls section run much smaller than in boys, so we are already training wee girlies that tight clothes are for them, and loose ones for the opposite gender. Sad.

There is obviously no such thing as "just clothes" or "just toys" IMO.

Yes my child is a boy. I suppose I cannot count myself as a strict gender neutral parent because I acknowledge that. BUT just because he is a boy does not mean that he should have to conform to the pervasive social expectation of what being a "boy" means. In my perfect world he would never know what that expectation is. In the real world I can at least hope that he learns to recognise gender as a social construction and proceed accordingly. And feel outrage that someone is trying to pidgeonhole him based on the fact he has a penis.

Incedently there was a really interesting segment on NPR recently about sex differences. Worth a listen:

""Y" Matters
Neuropsychiatrist and author Dr. Louann Brizendine joins us to discuss her research and insights about the minds of men. How do the fundamental differences between women and men compare with the perceived differences? And just why does "Y" matter? Brizendine's new book is "The Male Brain.""

Link:http://www.kqed.org/epArchive/R201004071000
post #28 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by leighi123 View Post
With my ds I try to buy toys and clothes that a boy or a girl could use, yet dispite that and not watching tv, he STILL uses his hand as a gun or a sword (while carrying a baby doll on his back).
this is why some people choose to parent in a gender neutral way. we as a society (not targeting you specifically) make the assumption that guns = boy and doll = girl.
we strive for gender neutral parenting in our home, and this is what it means to us (and i am of the opinion that there's no hard and fast definition of what gender neutral parenting is, it's just trying to offset and challenge some of these cultural assumptions based upon personal views):
we don't buy our child clothing that was created with gender definitions in mind, because people treat "pink wearing baby" differently than, for example "orange wearing baby."

we personally don't assign specific gender to toys and tools. mommy uses a shovel and a gun. daddy bakes cookies and wears an apron.
we want our children to pick the activities and colors and interests based upon what they want, not upon the fact that they have been steered towards a particular interest/color/hobby because society dictates that boys have the guns and girls dance the ballet.
the best BEST resource i've seen, one that i love dearly, is the girls will be boys will be girls coloring book and the gender subversion pack at crimethinc (here if you're interested, gender subversion poster & coloring book w/ free pdf download or viewing) http://www.crimethinc.com/tools/posters.html
post #29 of 97
I honestly think it's kind of silly. Whether or not you treat your son like a "boy" is not going to damage them. My son is a boy through and through. I dress him like a boy, I treat him like a boy. If he grows up and wants to do ballet or play music or something not "manly" we're not going to worry about it. We won't push sports if he doesn't want to play them. On the other hand if we have a girl who wants to be a tomboy, that's fine too. Let her play hockey (I did) and go hunting. I don't consider that gender neutral parenting, I consider it good parenting.
My son isn't gender neutral. He's a boy. So I'll treat and dress him like one. How he acts, what he does and what he plays with is 100% up to him.
post #30 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl View Post
The biggie in trying to parent gender neutral is doing my best to not train my kid for any specific social role. I think this is huge, and is the reason why so many gendered clothes and toys bother the heck outta me.

We give lip sevice to the notion that girls can be anything they want to be when they grow up...firefighter, doctor, astronaut, palentologist...but then when you go to buy your girl a dinosaur shirt you HAVE TO get it in the boys section. Same with space themed stuff and firetrucks. Just the very fact that these things only exist in a section labeled "boys" is reinforcing the notion that they are not for your girl...and once your girl figures that our she is not going to want to wear them anymore. So then what?

Clothes for girls are usually themed simply "pretty" as if that is the most important role for a female. Flowers, kitties, frills, ginghams, more flowers..."pretty" is the role we are training them for.

I am hoping to instill my son (and future kids) with a sense of outrage over this. The social message is so duplicious it just pisses me off. I love to put my kid in purple (I personally hate pink...for anyone) and it ticks me off that I usually have to go to the "girls" section to find it. I have also noticed that the clothing sizes in the girls section run much smaller than in boys, so we are already training wee girlies that tight clothes are for them, and loose ones for the opposite gender. Sad.

There is obviously no such thing as "just clothes" or "just toys" IMO.

Yes my child is a boy. I suppose I cannot count myself as a strict gender neutral parent because I acknowledge that. BUT just because he is a boy does not mean that he should have to conform to the pervasive social expectation of what being a "boy" means. In my perfect world he would never know what that expectation is. In the real world I can at least hope that he learns to recognise gender as a social construction and proceed accordingly. And feel outrage that someone is trying to pidgeonhole him based on the fact he has a penis.

Incedently there was a really interesting segment on NPR recently about sex differences. Worth a listen:

""Y" Matters
Neuropsychiatrist and author Dr. Louann Brizendine joins us to discuss her research and insights about the minds of men. How do the fundamental differences between women and men compare with the perceived differences? And just why does "Y" matter? Brizendine's new book is "The Male Brain.""

Link:http://www.kqed.org/epArchive/R201004071000
yeah that, and thanks for the link. i can't wait to give that a listen.
post #31 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by micah_mae_ View Post
I honestly think it's kind of silly. Whether or not you treat your son like a "boy" is not going to damage them. My son is a boy through and through. I dress him like a boy, I treat him like a boy. If he grows up and wants to do ballet or play music or something not "manly" we're not going to worry about it. We won't push sports if he doesn't want to play them. On the other hand if we have a girl who wants to be a tomboy, that's fine too. Let her play hockey (I did) and go hunting. I don't consider that gender neutral parenting, I consider it good parenting.
My son isn't gender neutral. He's a boy. So I'll treat and dress him like one. How he acts, what he does and what he plays with is 100% up to him.
I guess I'm not really clear on what "treat him like a boy" means? Are you encouraging him to do ballet now? I can tell you one thing though, and that is if you are reinforcing traditional gender roles than your boy is not likely to grow up to do ballet because that is not a traditional boy's activity. So for him to become interested in it would be unlikely, and I find that sad I guess. In other words what he does and what he plays is NOT 100% up to him if he has been socialized to find it unacceptable.

Sex is biological. Gender is a social construction. In my mind gender neutral parenting is simply refusing to buy into the socially ordained roles deemed appropriate for each sex, and marketed to us as "normal" and "natural" when they are anything but.
post #32 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by leighi123 View Post
Oh and I just have my ds, and most of his friends his age are boys... I think it would be much easier to 'not have to think about it' so much if you had a boy and a girl, esp. if they are close in age b/c then toys/clothes could be shared and it would be easier for the kids to have options of both kinds of things.
I'm not sure what you mean by "easier". My oldest is a boy. He does have sisters, but there's a 10 year gap between him and the next oldest, so they really didn't have much influence on his upbringing, yk?

Toys I can remember him having that weren't "boy" toys (what an asinine concept - sorry if that offends anyone, but I really do find it asinine) include a baby doll and stick-on earrings. I know there were some others, but he's 17, and the details are a little hazy. I only remember him ever owning a very few "boy" toys (a truck and some toy swords and guns...and I owned - and treasured - a cap rifle as a kid, so I have trouble calling this stuff "boy" toys at all). The vast majority of his toys were "gender neutral"...arts and crafts stuff, and some musical instruments mostly. That was because that's what he liked. But, you know...when he expressed an interest in earrings and nail polish, it was just as "easy" to get those for him as it would have been if he'd had a sister.

I don't know what "gender neutral parenting" really means, either. I'm pretty child-led on toys and clothes. DD1 is much more of a "girly-girl" than I ever expected, in some ways. She likes pink and sparkly and such. But, aside from princesses, her other "big love" in life is spiders. I don't think that's considered a "girl" interest.

Mind you, I will admit that ds2 probably wouldn't have showed up at a neighbour's birthday party - last minute invitation - last summer in a Belle dress if he didn't have a sister. I'll have to give you that one. (It was especially great, because ds2 is very stereotypically a "real boy", in many ways, and most of the neighbours think of him that way.)
post #33 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
The problem with the term 'gender neutral' is that different people have a different idea of what it takes to be gender neutral. There are parents who don't purchase anything that can be associated with a gender in the name of being gender neutral, but what they are really doing is being non-gendered. There are parents who refuse to allow anything for their child's biological gender in the house in the name of being gender neutral, but they are still being gender specific.

Gender neutral is allowing your child access to things across the board, not limiting based on some preconceived idea of what is proper, or some preconceived idea of what is "sticking it to society". Most gender neutral children will likely fall on one side of the gender line when it comes to toys/activities or the other, but it is the side they choose not the side chosen for them.

Gender neutral means that inanimate objects have no gender period. Dolls are not a girl thing and trucks are not a boy thing. They just things.
Using this definition, I'm totally on board. Just seems like common-sense to me.
post #34 of 97
I think of people as occupying a range on a spectrum of gender from extreme masculinity to extreme femininity. I am somewhere in the middle and tend toward one side in some ways and the other in other ways. BUT, I am faaaaaaar more interested in just being than in defining what way I'll be.

Our ds2 was the only one of our boys to have brought up gender issues ever; he noticed that in the stores, the 'girl stuff' was pink and sparkly and the 'boy stuff' was not. This came up when we went to choose a hat for his 5th birthday celebration. He picked up the pink sparkly one and then set it down and said, "But I can't wear this one." I asked him why not and he told me that 'pink is for girls'.

I was a bit shocked but treated it nonchalantly, and told him that colours and shine are not related to boys or girls. They are qualities of appearance, and that he can wear whatever he pleases. He ended up choosing a non-sparkly hat and I felt a bit sad only because he was obviously choosing based on what he thought he learned from elsewhere and not what he truly wanted (I supported his choice though, of course). I asked why he thought that, and he referred to how things are separated in stores. He also wanted to know more about why "girls have to wear pink."

After that we discussed these things because having not addressed it previously led to my son being convinced by marketing in stores!!! We don't watch tv and avoid gender stereotyping in books and toys and other things, so they see this glaring separation when we are out, not when we are at home. We hadn't at all deliberately avoided the issue; it just hadn't come up and dp and I didn't think about it either, until then.

I would love to walk into a children's clothing store that had no girl side and no boy side, but just clothing. I don't have any issue with people- no matter their gender- choosing frills or sparkles or shirts with trucks or insects on them; I just don't see why they need be separated into 'gender-appropraite' sections. This is obviously cultural since pink is not considered feminine everywhere and frills and sparkles have many times throughout even western history been worn by both men and women. And I would love to wear shirts with insects and well-illustrated trucks on them! I was trained in technical and scientific illustration- those drawings appeal very much to me!

I do find a lot more non-gender-specific clothing in the boys sections though: stripes, checks, patterns and solid coloured clothing that isn't covered in pink. I don't care if my boys want to wear pink- that's fine with me. I just don't want them thinking that they are not allowed to wear it or that they have to wear it according to others. I also don't appreciate the idea in girls clothing that shirts and pants should be tight and short and body-revealing rather than loose and comfortable which is seen as for boys, at least from what I see in the clothing sections. And again, it is not upsetting to me if someone enjoys wearing tight, short, body-revealing clothing- regardless of gender.

For me, it's about freedom, and a major part of dealing with this cultural oppression of choice and freedom is to discuss what's going on and empower our children to make their choices in freedom through informing and equipping them with knowledge, understanding, and our support.

These pressures infect every area of human life through culture, so the best I can do is to deliberately provide the greatest opportunities for freedom for my dc so that they can live and just be. Just being seems to resolve a lot of these issues because what is essential remains while what is not tends to dissipate. At least that's our experience.

Since my ds2's fifth birthday (last August) and the conversations we had then about clothing and toys and stores and culture, his concern about what is 'gender appropriate' has dissipated with our continuing to offer a range of options to him and supporting him in his choices. Since then, he (and as always, the others) have enjoyed wearing sparkly things at times and then chosen other things at other times without pressure or concern.

As an issue, for now, it seems to be resolved. I'm sure it will come up again as they grow and we'll just keep dealing with it in all the ways it shows up. What else can we do? Helping them to navigate this sort of stuff (culture, life, expectations, etc...) is precisely what we have to offer our dc as parents, I think, so it's not all that strange and certainly not burdensome as a matter of relating, to be dealing with it together.

Though I am frequently irked by what I see being thrust on us by ads and marketing. I do find that tiresome and burdensome because it's a make-work project for me to add something once again non-essential to the guiding of my children. I don't enjoy feeling a bit like a forcefield or a shield against this stuff, which is why we minimise our family's exposure to it overall.

That said, we live in the wilderness on a farm, so we really do not deal with anywhere near the amount of marketing issues that most families do. Dp works with youth in group homes and it's amazing how much junk he has to sift through in order to reach them; these children are guided by marketing rather than parents, and the results are frightening- to us anyway.
post #35 of 97
Quote:
Sex is biological. Gender is a social construction. In my mind gender neutral parenting is simply refusing to buy into the socially ordained roles deemed appropriate for each sex, and marketed to us as "normal" and "natural" when they are anything but.
Nope.... sex and gender are both biological and neither is simply socially constructed. If that were the case, you might have a lot more phobic parents who are able to influence and parent their child out of being cross-gendered. I think you meant to refer to the fact that sex in anatomical and gender is not necessarily so. However, saying that gender can be socially constructed indicates that being transgendered is a lifestyle choice and not something that is innate. That is a slippery slope and not one I want to go down.


Quote:
The problem with the term 'gender neutral' is that different people have a different idea of what it takes to be gender neutral. There are parents who don't purchase anything that can be associated with a gender in the name of being gender neutral, but what they are really doing is being non-gendered. There are parents who refuse to allow anything for their child's biological gender in the house in the name of being gender neutral, but they are still being gender specific.

Gender neutral is allowing your child access to things across the board, not limiting based on some preconceived idea of what is proper, or some preconceived idea of what is "sticking it to society". Most gender neutral children will likely fall on one side of the gender line when it comes to toys/activities or the other, but it is the side they choose not the side chosen for them.

Gender neutral means that inanimate objects have no gender period. Dolls are not a girl thing and trucks are not a boy thing. They just things.
I probably should not have posted as what I was trying to say was already said (that's what I get for not reading the thread). It is said very well in the above quote... thanks!!
post #36 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by Landover View Post
Nope.... sex and gender are both biological and neither is simply socially constructed. If that were the case, you might have a lot more phobic parents who are able to influence and parent their child out of being cross-gendered. I think you meant to refer to the fact that sex in anatomical and gender is not necessarily so. However, saying that gender can be socially constructed indicates that being transgendered is a lifestyle choice and not something that is innate. That is a slippery slope and not one I want to go down.




I probably should not have posted as what I was trying to say was already said (that's what I get for not reading the thread). It is said very well in the above quote... thanks!!
A-la Wikipedia for Gender:
"In the social sciences, however, it refers specifically to socially constructed and institutionalized differences such as gender roles."

Well shoot I'm a historian so there ya go. Good point about cross or transgendered folks though.
post #37 of 97
Slightly OT, but I had a wakeup call about girls' clothes recently. DD has just turned two, and all her clothes are either hand-me-downs or sewn by me. I have no particular desire to dress her not like a girl, as it were - I like old-fashioned clothes, so she wears plenty of froofy dresses (and gains approving nods from old ladies who tell me it's So Nice to see a little girl in a dress... which always makes me feel vaguely uncomfortable!). But, here's the thing: they're not all PINK! I rarely shop, so the other day when I went into a department saw and saw the girls' clothes I was like "Aargh, my eyes!" EVERYTHING was pink, and not tasteful dusky-rose pink or pale pink - hot, aggressive, loud pink. Never mind the sequins and ruffles and "Princess" emblazoned wherever a word could be... it was just so monochromatic! And suddenly DD's wardrobe of dresses in grey and yellow and cream and green seemed extremely un-girly.

Same thing when I visited a friend with two pre-school nieces on Christmas Eve. The girls had just unwrapped their presents, and the PILE of plastic in day-glo pink and purple was... blatant, to say the least. (Actually I think all the adults were a little shocked by it - they'd each contributed to the pile, but hadn't expected the whole thing to be so... much.) The girls were wearing gaudy pink and purple tutus.

It seemed to make them happy, so I didn't exactly disapprove, but it did highlight how being out of the "buying zone" makes merchandise and clothing seem incredibly one-note when you see it up close. I didn't make a conscious effort to avoid "girly" toys and clothes, I just made things I liked, but didn't have my brain fixated on that screaming shade of pink. No wonder DD gets compliments all the time - people probably find her restful on the eyes!
post #38 of 97
Pepto-Bismo pink. Maybe it's just a shade darker than that? But close anyway. It is a pretty awful color.
post #39 of 97
We lived in Hawaii for a while. We shared a yard with another family who had one child. Her name was Carolyne, but in every other way, she looked just like a boy. So, I figured she was just one of those kids who preferred short hair and boy's clothes. (she was three at the time)

But, she was actually never told she was a girl. They wanted to raise her gender nuetral. And the only other child within a mile was a little boy. So, they were all each other had.

But, she was always attracted to pretty fabrics, and babies. She would paint rocks and shells bright colors and lay in the grass pretending they were people who were there to play with her. She was very girly, without all the girly things.

She's 26 years old now, still lives on the island and is what she calls "hot but not prissy". (not exactly sure what that means)

So, if it's done correctly, it can be done. I just don't like the message some parents send. (not carolyne's parents) that being a boy is somehow better than being a girl, and if you MUST be a girl, you should at least be as boy-ish as possible.
post #40 of 97
Quote:
A-la Wikipedia for Gender:
"In the social sciences, however, it refers specifically to socially constructed and institutionalized differences such as gender roles."
This does not say that gender is socially constructed.

My point is that most folks believe that people come with anatomical parts and then a separate gender identity. Most of the time those things match up, and sometimes they do not. I am not sure anyone wants to say that when they don't match up it is because of a socially constructed situation. Yes, gender may be a social construction by definition, but not gender identification. If you start saying that gender is socially constructed then then you are making the argument for not allowing same sex couple adoption, etc.

I don't think it is likely that you can influence a person who doesn't "match" to do so by buying them a shirt with a dinosaur anymore then the other way around.... It is kind of the flip of the argument.

I will continue to allow my kiddos to know what gender they are, and to embrace their interests and their gender.
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