Penis/Vagina talk

[kriket]

Here is my situation I babysit an almost 6 year old boy. The normal gross talk I know how to handle. I just ask him for better words than "The whole world is a butt" or my personal fave "There is a poop in the room and it isn't me" (It's just me and him, and 2 dogs ) Everything is a poop or fart or butt when you are 5.

The penis/vagina talk has me caught off guard. Sometimes we will read a book and he will get closer and closer to either my breast or crotch. Then either jiggle my breast or stick his hand between my legs. Or he will stare at me and say "What am I looking at" and I will guess things like "The dog? This sponge? The table?" Then he will laugh, "No your vagina" Things like that.

If it were my son I would just get a grey's anatomy, or "where babies come from" and have a lesson. Calling the external girly bits "vagina" is a pet peeve of mine.

Since I am just a babysitter I'm not sure how to go around this issue.

Any thoughts?

I also want to mention their mother is a doctor, so it's not like she doesn't know or tries to make parts shameful. I just think it has something to do with his age.

So far I just treat it like he were jiggling or sticking his hand on any other part. by saying "Don't jiggle my breast, it hurts a little" (I breast feed, and sometimes it does hurt a little!) or "Keep you hands in your space please"

[TulsiLeaf]

have you approached the parents regarding how they would want you to address this? Because you have ever right to ask him not to do that.

[spedteacher30]

personally, we tell our 4 year old son that the parts covered by underwear are personal and private and no one should touch them but the owner of said parts. He nursed until he was 3.5, but we now tell him that my breasts are my personal space and he shouldn't touch them anymore.

It is not about shaming him, it is about respect for others and keeping him safe from predators.

[EarthRootsStarSoul]

No advice, but I'm also interested in what others have to say about this. My almost six year old son says and does almost the exact same things all the time.

[Surfacing]

Originally Posted by spedteacher30

personally, we tell our 4 year old son that the parts covered by underwear are personal and private and no one should touch them but the owner of said parts. He nursed until he was 3.5, but we now tell him that my breasts are my personal space and he shouldn't touch them anymore.

It is not about shaming him, it is about respect for others and keeping him safe from predators.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by spedteacher30

personally, we tell our 4 year old son that the parts covered by underwear are personal and private and no one should touch them but the owner of said parts.

agreed.

It's time to teach some boundaries and manners.

Sometimes we will read a book and he will get closer and closer to either my breast or crotch. Then either jiggle my breast or stick his hand between my legs.

that just isn't OK. This is about teaching proper behavoir and grabbing other people's private parts isn't OK.

[dogretro]

Yeah, I would def NOT be okay w/ a 5-yr-old grabbing my crotch or talking about my private parts so much. I would not try and shame him, but I would tell him that my private parts are MINE and he is not to touch them anymore. You said that he is almost six. That is far from being a baby & that is old enough to know that you don't go around grabbing other people's crotches. The language, eh, not as big a deal unless it was all the time & then I would have to ask him to please talk about something else b/c it was boring me.

[One_Girl]

If his parents are fine with him learning anatomically correct terms with an anatomy book then I think you should go for it. The boy I babysit is very into talking about the differences between girls and boys and his mom is fine with me explaining or correcting something when I think it is needed.

[Learning_Mum]

Yeah, grabbing your boob is not cool. DS1 is 4yo and he knows you don't touch someone elses private parts.

If a grown man grabbed some womans boob he'd get a punch in the face. It's just not on.

I would just say straight up that your boobs are yours and they are private and he isn't allowed to touch them.

As for the 'thinking of your vagina' thing I'd probably just say that was rude, or not funny and just move on. I figure if you ignore it long enough and let him know that it's not polite he'll just give up doing it.

[sapphire_chan]

When he reaches for a "part covered by underwear" catch his hands, look him straight in the eye, and give him the spiel about "the only people who can touch body parts covered by underwear are..... okay, you may go play now."

again and again and again. until it's clear to him that he won't be able to ruffle you and won't be allowed to grab you there.

As for the talking, you don't hear it. If he says something that sounds like real curiosity instead of trying to provoke a reaction, then you can bring out the anatomy texts that you've cleared with his mom.