How to comfort young children

[Areia]

I need some advice. My nephews are 10 and 5 years old. They had a teenager baby sit them often (after school and also mother's helper type of things). They loved him and the families are close in general (his younger brothers are good friends with my nephews, etc.) Tragically, this boy took his own life and of course my nephews are devastated. My SIL and BIL say the oldest boy fully understands what happened, but the younger doesn't quite get it yet.

I've haven't spoken to my nephews directly, but we plan on seeing them this weekend (without their parents). Normally, I would call the person who is grieving, send a card, etc, but I'm at a loss with children (we won't bring it up of course, but I have a feeling the 10 year old will want to talk about it). I've left a message for my SIL to see how she would like us to handle it if he starts asking why J did this, etc, but any thoughts/advice you might have would be greatly appreciated.

[2goingon2]

I have a ten year old (well, he'll be 11 Wednesday) and I think that bringing it up would be good. You don't have to dwell on it but a simple acknowledgement should be all they need. They too are grieving and are probably confused or even angry or scared. If you simply tell them you heard what happened to "X" and are so sorry and know they must be sad and miss him. Maybe if they hear it's okay to be sad and to miss someone it will clear the air. Otherwise, you might spend your entire visit waiting for them to bring it up and they don't know how. Or maybe like you thought - the 10 year old will want to talk about it. I think if he does that's a very good thing. You just have to be there and to let them know it's okay to be sad and we don't have to understand why it happened but we can remember "X" and the good things/times and that they will be okay. Might be a good time to mention that if they are ever feeling that sad and lonely that they can talk to you or someone in their life.

Have their parents thought about counseling for them? Suicide is a lot to absorb for an adult, let alone children.