Drop in introduction to neighbor -- rude? (Update on p2)

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Recently my 7 YO DD has begun playing with another little girl who lives in the house behind ours. There is a strip of undeveloped "wild" land between our house and there and the kids discovered each other while playing a couple of weeks ago. So far, they have been traveling between the two backyards but not necessarily inside houses. So on Sunday afternoon I walked around to their house and knocked on the door to introduce myself. I figured, her daughter is playing in my backyard, my child is playing in hers, we should at least know each other's names and phone numbers. She was cordial, we agreed it was great that the two girls now had playmates about their age in the neighborhood (both go to private schools outside of the immediate area), we exchanged information, I declined an offer of juice, and I walked home.

Another friend of mine was horrified that I had dropped in unannounced and uninvited. I wasn't totally unannounced -- I had asked the little girl if her mother was home and she had gone to tell her mom I was on my way -- but I was uninvited. Now I'm worried that this new family will think I'm rude.

Was I wrong?

[NightOwlwithowlet]

I don't think you were rude at all. I think you did what I would do. Our neighbor has recently acquired several unsupervised kids since the weather is nice. I dearly wish the parents would come and introduce themselves. If there is an issue with the kid playing in my yard (they get hurt, have a food allergy etc), I'd love to know.

My son is pretty free range within the defined area, but our neighborhood has tons of traffic, is 50 feet from major traffic route, and has two sex offenders (pedophiles) within of 1/2 mile. My son is allowed to play in the yards where I know there minimal safe adults around. Often, I went over and introduced myself to the adults when they were outside or knocked on the door to say, "Hi." Even with his good friend next door, I stop by once a week or so to make sure things are okay. I wish we had more neighbors like you. Glad your daughter found a friend.

[mirlee]

No. What is wrong with dropping by? You are neighbors and your kids play together. I get drop by people all the time. I think it's actually kind of nice to have an unexpected guest.

[Ellen Griswold]

I agree - I think it was nice and polite.

[Drummer's Wife]

I don't think it was rude at all - how could you have been invited when the mom didn't have your number yet (otherwise, she would have had to be the one to drop-by).

I will admit to being a bit flustered if I haven't showered, just cleaned up a mess, am running late, etc., when someone stops by like that - but hey, it's to be expected, and I guess I just wish I looked more presentable so the other parent didn't think I was always a mess But yeah, I've had several neighbors come by to say hi and introduce themselves once our kids have started playing together.

[just_lily]

It's not like you invited yourself in for dinner. That would have been rude. Just stopping to say hi and introduce yourself seems like a perfectly neighbourly thing to do.

[Owen'nZoe]

That's how I've always handled it. :. How else would you meet the other parent without knowing their name or phone number? I have yet to have another parent stop by our house to meet us, but they've never seemed put out when I've dropped in.

[One_Girl]

I don't think that is rude the way you describe it. I am not fond of friends inviting themselves over and staying for long periods of time, but a quick stop to check in like that sounds great.

[laughymama]

I would have been very excited and pleased by your actions if I were the neighbor. Your kids are playing together and you're neighbors! As PP have said, you did not invite yourself to dinner...you simply dropped in to introduce yourself.

I don't see this as rude at all. I think it was appropriate and nice.

[kriket]

ptth, thats not rude. You kinda expect your neighbors to eventually come by and see whats up. especially if your kids play together!

[dogretro]

Uhhh, I thought that was why we had doorbells? Since when does every single interaction have to be scheduled & approved? Your friend needs to chillax, lol.

[limette]

I hate it when people drop by unannounced but in this context (an unintroduced neighbour) I have no problem with it. It's really the only way to go.

[ps4624]

Dropping by to introduce yourself is responsible parenting. You didn't knock on the door in the middle of the night - you came by to say "hi". I would't give it another thought.

[lilyka]

I do not like people stopping by unannounced and being expected to be invited in. Stopping by to introduce themselves though. wonderful!!! Not rude at all.

[hillymum]

Your friend would hate living on my road lol. Most of my neighbours invite themselves in for drinks/chat on summer days/evenings. It's just one of the reasons I love it here. We have a phone directory just for this road with everyones childrens names, ages, pets, allergies etc.
When someone moves in they are greated by their new neighbours and introduced around.

[sapphire_chan]

How the were you supposed to announce yourself? Morse code with your car horn? Semaphore from your porch?

[MammaG]

Dropping by to introduce yourself sounds lovely....wish our neighbolurhood was like that.

If we really do now live in a world where knocking on a door is somehow an invasion of privacy, it's no wonder we're all out in cyberspace looking to connect with other human beings.

[GoBecGo]

Our neighbours drop by all the time! And we drop in on them too. The first time was a bit stiff and formal and hello-i'm-such-and-such-from-next-door but since then it's been lovely!

How would your friend have done it? You can't send friendship requests in real life! It only works on FB!

[hildare]

my gauge for the drop in announced/unannounced is whether i would possibly be interrupting something.
therefore, if the neighbor's child was playing outside with minimal supervision, it's very unlikely that the neighbor would be asleep.. i would imagine that when the kid plays outside, she's on "minor alert" status-- checking every so often, listening or being aware of any needs or emergencies. the neighbor is also likely to go outside to check on the child every once in a while, so if i were going to drop in, i would most likely lurk until the neighbor came out..
in my way of thinking, i have had people drop by when i'm not overly proud of the state of disarray in the house, and lurking outside circumvents that problem..
that's why people used to sit on porches.
i doubt it would be considered rude at any rate, i just try to be respectful of people's housecleaning situation because i personally get embarrassed about messiness & unplanned visits. i'm sure it was totally fine.

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

No you weren't wrong, i really don't see anything wrong with introducing yourself to a new neighbour.
I have half the neighbour hood kiddies in and out my front garden sometimes because us having swings and slide and sometimes i wish their parents would come round so i would have some adult conversation for once.