How to approach a new doctor...

[Italiamom]

Any ideas?

A little background: we're seeing a new doctor. DH is unemployed, and so until he finds another job (hopefully soon!!) we're unfortunately on what amounts to Medicaid in my state. So we can't just choose a doctor. We got to choose from a very limited list, and so after being unable to find any feedback on the doctors who were available, I picked the clinic that also had an acupuncturist on staff in hopes that they would be more... open, I suppose, to alternative medical choices.

DS hasn't been seen since he was 6 months, and only received 3 vaccines (once each): the DTaP, HIB, and PCV7. They were a compromise with my DH, we would vax our DS, but slowly. However, when he got the PCV7, he screamed for almost 3 hours, a terrified cry, and my husband agreed to not revisit vaxing until he's 3.

My question is, how do I approach my new doc? I'm terrified of getting the same reaction that I have from every other doctor we've seen. I don't want to be confrontational, but vaccines aren't up for discussion right now. Do I take the hard line? Do I listen and just say "we'll still not be doing any this visit." What has worked for others when they had to see a doctor who wasn't their first choice? This has me so nervous!

[Stayathomemommy]

I've gone through this more times then i would like and because we moved i am back in the same situation as you. I fought hard with my 9 and 7 year olds and it was never easy, i left crying most times. They really lay on the guilt and fear heavy when you get tough and dont listen to them. then with a later doctor i did the whole "delay" vaccination excuse. that held them off, i would listen and take the paper work on vaccinations home and just say as you put it, "we will not be doing any today". we also did not go in for baby well visits which is the key!! i didnt know that with my first two and thats why i was so stressed and leaving a doctors office crying every couple of months. i started just going in for a yearly check up and the doctor suprised me by just asking if i would be vaxing and when i said no she checked off a box and just moved on with the exam.

now we have moved and i have a 21 month old who has seen a doctor only once at 8 days old after a homebirth. it makes me a little nervous not to have a relationship with any doctor for a late night emergency or someone to go to with a true concern. i need to start shopping for a doc and am not looking foward to it. i will take the nice, listening, and delay vax approach again as i get to know a doctor. hopefully i'll find someone to agree to disagree at least. Good luck on your search.

[-Grace-]

My daughter's doctor lays it on thick too, and told me and my fiance to expect "the talk" at every visit. We also don't have the luxury of picking a new doctor.

So when the doctor starts her schpiel, we just nod and tell her we've made up our minds, it's not up for discussion. We'd tell her to shut up if A) we didn't want to be rude when we don't have to be, and B) we didn't want to anger her and have her call CPS because her "professional" opinion is we're "endangering" our daughter by not just doing what she says.

[caned & able]

This is your child. Why are you terrified of a doctor? He/she works for YOU.

YOU are the one who will deal with crying, fever, reactions and any other side effects that is on those long lists that few doctors give to anxious parents to read.

Do YOUR homework and walk in prepared, with a couple of large, muscular relatives.

YOUR child is counting on YOU to do the right thing. Do it.

P.S. My experience with CPS is that most social workers know that conscientious parents are questioning vaccines... that is where your research and homework will shine...although, I understand why you do not want any contact with that government agency. No parent does.

[Arduinna]

You have a couple options, one of them is to just say you are getting them done at the county health dept. I used that once while we were uninsured and no one questioned me.

Other option is to just not do WBV and only go to the Dr when there is medical necessity.

[Fyrestorm]

"Vaccination is against our sincerely held religious beliefs"

"My religious beliefs are not up for discussion"

Repeat as needed