Is this reasonable?

[veganjoy]

I had a midwife-assisted homebirth for my first child. It was fine, but not really what I wanted. This time, I'm planning to UC with only my partner and daughter present, but I'd like some help with post-birth details.

My hope is to see an OB for prenatal stuff, birth at home unassisted, and then have a midwife stop by to check any tears, weigh and measure the baby, look us both over, bring me something to drink, and help a bit with cleanup. I know these are all things I can do myself, but honestly, I don't want to fuss with it. I also don't want to worry about getting myself to a hospital if I need stitches, or to figure out how to crazy glue a tear when I just want to be resting. I just want to relax and let someone else take care of it.

I'm thinking of contacting local midwives and simply presenting it that way. Is this reasonable? And has anyone done something like it? I'd love to hear any experiences or thoughts on how to phrase things.

[zoebird]

hmm

depends upon where you are and what the lay of the midwifery land looks like.

where i was, my only option would have been to lie to the midwife. go to her for prenatal care, call her at the last moment, and "oops" he came too fast. pay the full fee and all of that.

so, i might do that if i wanted pre and post natal care.

[mwright]

I am doing all my own prenatals and I have an awesome licensed midwife who is UC supportive and will come when I want her there, postpartum or whenever. I am paying her the birth fee to be available for when and if I want her. She is even willing to come hang out in the living room and sleep while baby is being born. I mostly want her there in case I need stitches and to also fill out a birth cert. Otherwise, its my own thing.

You may have to ask around and talk to many midwives until you find the one that respects your desires.

[Happiestever]

I looked into something like this and had mixed results. At first it was hard for me to even find a mw who would consider this, then I found a few but after discussing things I changed my mind.

I decided that if I had any concerns/ needed stitches I wasn't willing to have a mw who would come 12 hours later. I found one who could come right away but I just didn't feel it, yk? I felt that after researching I would know what to do if there was a problem and use my judgment.

On the plus side my DH really stepped up in this aspect and often refers to himself as a mw . He took care of me and the clean up and I knew that everything would be fine if I just took it easy. I had the hospital near by if I really needed something, like stitches/ newborn questions. I think that it really depends on where you live and how supportive mw's are of UC. Be confident in your self and everything else will hopefully fall into place. GL

[amberskyfire]

Yes, this is completely reasonable and is close to what I did. I was planning a UC and initially went to an OB for prenatal care, but I was treated very badly and he didn't even know that I was planning a UC. Simply the fact that I had too many knowledgeable questions tipped him off that I might be considering a home birth and he was pretty rude.

So I fired the doctor and contacted a pair of lay midwives who work locally. I told them that I wanted pre- and postnatal care, but that I was planning a UC. They were extremely supportive of my UC and did all of my prenatal care for me (and FAR better and more thoroughly than the OB was able to do). I called them when I went into labor just to let them know so that they could be ready to come by if I wanted them for any reason (I never did). I gave birth late at night and they came by the next morning and checked us out and stitched a bad tear that I had gotten (I had monstrous pushing that I wasn't able to control in any way and tore). They were really wonderful.

I would highly suggest going with midwives for your prenatal care rather than an OB. OBs don't do great prenatal care and are very rushed. A MW can offer more thorough exams and they stay with you for 1-2 hours a visit rather than 5 minutes. If you find a lay midwife, she will be less inclined to not be supportive of a UC in many cases.

Good luck!

[TzippityDoulah]

it sounds like a doula could meet your needs. even a post partum doula. she wouldn't be able to do any sewing up or anything of that nature, but she could do clean up, look over a tear for you, give you some food and drink and answer any questions you might have.

[Jacksonmom]

Originally Posted by zoebird

hmm

depends upon where you are and what the lay of the midwifery land looks like.

In Louisiana (where we had our first UC) the midwives were completely anti-UC.

[Got_Cloth]

this is kind of what i am planning.
I have my first OB appt in 2 weeks. I really like my OB, and he handled the fact i was a planned homebirth very well with my son, and he even asked my midwife questions, during my labor, to try to keep it as natural for me as possible. I had a totally unmedicated induction, and labored in a tub, and ate and drank as i felt.

my midwife said she can take me on as a client, even up to 36 weeks, as long as i had prenatal care before 34 weeks. ( state law). the fee would be reduced, and I would have her for post natal stuff.

though, i am not 100% sure what i am doing, because I just learned a few days ago, the DH is willing to go UC.

[UCmamaToMany]

I've had some OB care and just recently stopped seeing him. (just haven't rescheduled-without plans to reschedule)

My DH does a fine job of cleaning up, taking care of me after wards and can even check me for tears (BTDT 5 times now). I think he likes having an active roll in the birth of our children. He's been nicknamed by his friends "Midwife" or "Doctor" and he likes it.

Ironically his brother is an EMT and hasn't had to deliver a baby yet and my DH has delivered 5 of ours now, LOL. His brother is amazed still and while he is expecting his first at the end of May, he would never consider a homebirth, even though my DH tried to convince him, LOL.

Any ways, my point is that in 5 HB/UC's I only had one tear repair and that was with my first and that was because my MW assistant friend who attended my birth insisted I needed stitches. She just called "the MW" she works with and she came and stiched me up. She put in 3 small stitches and IMHO I don't think I needed them!

Every birth after that I've let my tears heal naturally without stitches or glue or anything like that.

Even still I have a really good friend who is now a retired midwife who would come and help me if I needed to be stiched up or something.

Good luck with finding a MW and plan that works for you. That's the most important part!