so frustrated

[jen&james]

My toddler (2) has been having some issues with going down and I really need to vent. We co-sleep and he is ready for bed by 7pm and is usually asking to go to sleep. I nurse him but he no longer falls asleep that way and some point I tell him no more till morning. Sometimes he accepts and sometimes he fusses for a few minutes. The problem comes that I have to lie with him forever to get him to sleep sometimes 2 hrs and I get so frustrated because I am exhausted at the end of the day and I am not getting any me time. I often fall asleep and don't get to spend any time with my DH or say goodnight and tuck in my older DS (5) I don't know how to fix the problem. I will lie next to him and pretend to be asleep until I think he is asleep but as soon as I move he wakes and grabs form me and this can go on for hours. I usually come out of there angry and resentful for wasting 2 hours of my evening time putting him to sleep. I am considering not napping him but he is so crabby by 4 if he doesn't get a nap. It sjhouldn't take him 2 hrs to fall asleep everynight. Any suggestions on how t get him to fall asleep better or quicker?

[Katie T]

Hugs to you mama, I remember those days and I don't think it was anything that I did that fixed it, he just out grew it so I don't have any great advise.

What time does he nap? Can you move his nap to a little earlier in the day or wake him after a set amount of time if he sleeps for hours on end? He may be ready to drop the nap but beings he is in melt down I'm not sure, wouldn't hurt to try.

Have you tried a bath before bed? They always help my kids relax and fall asleep easier. I got the internet on my phone so I could at least read while I layed there. (at night I don't have to pretend to be alseep like I do for nap so this may not work for you)

What does he do if you tell him "mommy will lay with you for 15 minutes or some set time and then you need to lay here and relax and I will come to bed a little later" It depends on the child if that would work, not for mine but I know some people have had better results than I did.

I completely understand how you feel, bedtime takes about a hour here still but that is a huge improvement from the 2 it used to take.

[DangerMom]

Ooh I've been there, and I remember well that angry. resentful feeling. What worked for us was to gradually shift his bedtime back to nine-ish, then I just go to bed with him and stay put for the night. It means I don't get any "me time" in the evenings, but I was tired of "wasting" my evenings. This way I am ready for bed and looking forward to snuggly time.

Do you think you could shift back his bedtime a little bit and try that? I don't know if that schedule would work for you, but it's an idea.

[To-Fu]

I'd maybe try playing with bed/nap times and see if that creates any positive changes.

Can your partner try doing bedtime instead, at least temporarily?