OCD/Harming Disorder

[Alair]

Hello, ladies. I'm new here, happy to be here. I have 4 kids: DS, 10, DS, 8, DD, 6 and DS 3. I have suffered forms of PPD, psychosis and OCD following each birth.

I was wondering if any of you out there have harming thoughts? I experienced them for a year and a half after my first but they still surface now, 3 years PP. I have them towards the closest people in my life.

I'm not afraid of the thoughts but I am disturbed and annoyed. I've read, researched and watched enough stuff to know that the thoughts are rarely acted upon. There's actually a great episode of the show "Obsessed" on A&E which deals with the specific OCD obsession of harming thoughts that was a real eye opener to me. It doesn't always decrease the anxiety and guilt that accompanies thoughts of harming a loved one.

Just curious to share experiences and see how others are coping or how often/far down the road these thoughts are still occurring. If you're suffering, know you're not alone. I kept quiet about it for years. It's unfortunate that our we're not educated more in this society to look out for these symptoms.

Thanks!

[TBJT]

Thoughts can be tremendous. Hard to believe that they even came from any part of your brain when your intentions are so the opposite. In fact, this may be the very reason they manifest this hard and strong for some people. It's so unwanted and so repulsive to them, that they are signaled to smash their way in 10 folds. The main thing is how you really feel about these things. Do you think an awful thought and enjoy it being there? Of course not. You think "ew what the hell is that", and you can take comfort in knowing that it's NOT you. I think most people have these now and again, but put them in a box and don't bother to discuss them because they know its part of the brain's process of information. Don't beat yourself up about them. It's not who you are.

[jennybear]

Yes, I have PPOCD. I've had great luck with cognitive behavioral therapy and Zoloft.

Are you in treatment? This particular disorder tends to get worse by things we intuitively think will make it better, so it's important to work with someone if you can.

Two great books on this: Imp of the Mind (has a section on postpartum intrusive thoughts) and Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts: Take Control of Your OCD.

[skeller]

hello out there!  we are all great moms even tho we are dealing with these annoying and yes, disturbing thoughts.  i am about 11 weeks pp and they are still here.  feeling like i better "hunker"  down  and just get used to it because they could be here for a long time!  ughhhh!  this is our 5th child and i have a very heavy history of this ppocd behaivor.  after #3 the obsessions stayed with me for about 2 years. i am not kidding when i say that miraculously one day they were gone.  hoping the same happens this time.  i know i would never act on these thoughts, but just the same, they HAVE got to go away!!!!  currently on Zoloft.  thinking about trying Anafranil.  it's supposed to be the best medicine for OCD.  with prayer i am strongly believing i will get over my obsession.  definitely good to know i am not alone...altho i wish this upon noone!