My daughter is about to be 10 years old. She has been sleeping with her dad since she was 5 years old on her EOW visits with him. She has no bed in his house of her own, or not bedroom. She has no place of her own to change privately. She still can't brush her teeth. He used to bathe her until last summer, when I asked the counselor to tell him to stop. The counselor told him if he didn't stop that he would be reported. So since then he would not let her bathe there. She spent the summer (33 days) at his house with only one bath, and that was because the counselor said let her bathe or send her home to moms house. She begs me every time she is suppose to go to her dad's house for me to not let her go.
I have had my daughter in counseling since February (brother and sister had to go first to get some stability in our family) and my daughter's father has been calling the counseling center regularly to tell them not to bill his insurance. My daughter has his insurance as her primary, and state insurance as secondary. The counseling center has told me she can't come back unless I guarantee them that I will pay cash. I can't do that. My daughter is really getting alot out of counseling. The counselor has been encouraging her to try different things like asking if she can bathe, then next time taking a bath in the sink with a wash cloth. He has not allowed her to do that, so the counselor asked her to just take her hands and stand on a towel, then take her hands and wash off her face, arms and legs. She finally was able to do that, but her father told her she couldn't do it again. My daughter feels like she has some power because the therapist is working with her to come up with solutions. She is also expressing her concern about these and other issues. Now what? I am so worried about her. She does not know how to protect her own boundaries, and her father does not respect them. She has a terrible time sleeping on her own. She wants to come to my room every other night. By 2 or 3 am, she is knocking on my door begging to sleep with me. I feel so bad for her that I usually sit and talk with her for a while, and see if I can get her to sleep in her bed. If she can't, I let her come sleep with me. She sleeps with her sister, so she really is not alone, but she feels so scared of the night.
My daughter is putting all of her hope in my hands. He is threatening me if I go to court because of this, that he will have me put in jail because he swears I don't let him talk to the children. This is not true. He is also telling the children that he is going to get me put in jail. He scares them so much.
This is now YEARS. My attorney never really helped me, but instead I owed her so much money. I don't have any money to pay now.
I need some clear directions (please not a bunch of arguing about what to do). I have gotten some good help here in the past, and I would appreciate your advice. My dd does not want to go back. I asked her if she ever wanted to go back again and she told me, "yes", if he can become a better person and father and clean up his house. She often tells me about his house, about how disorganized it is. He has OCD. Both children talk about it, say there is no where to sit or play. Five years is a long time to live like that.
Help?
Jyotsna
I have had my daughter in counseling since February (brother and sister had to go first to get some stability in our family) and my daughter's father has been calling the counseling center regularly to tell them not to bill his insurance. My daughter has his insurance as her primary, and state insurance as secondary. The counseling center has told me she can't come back unless I guarantee them that I will pay cash. I can't do that. My daughter is really getting alot out of counseling. The counselor has been encouraging her to try different things like asking if she can bathe, then next time taking a bath in the sink with a wash cloth. He has not allowed her to do that, so the counselor asked her to just take her hands and stand on a towel, then take her hands and wash off her face, arms and legs. She finally was able to do that, but her father told her she couldn't do it again. My daughter feels like she has some power because the therapist is working with her to come up with solutions. She is also expressing her concern about these and other issues. Now what? I am so worried about her. She does not know how to protect her own boundaries, and her father does not respect them. She has a terrible time sleeping on her own. She wants to come to my room every other night. By 2 or 3 am, she is knocking on my door begging to sleep with me. I feel so bad for her that I usually sit and talk with her for a while, and see if I can get her to sleep in her bed. If she can't, I let her come sleep with me. She sleeps with her sister, so she really is not alone, but she feels so scared of the night.
My daughter is putting all of her hope in my hands. He is threatening me if I go to court because of this, that he will have me put in jail because he swears I don't let him talk to the children. This is not true. He is also telling the children that he is going to get me put in jail. He scares them so much.
This is now YEARS. My attorney never really helped me, but instead I owed her so much money. I don't have any money to pay now.
I need some clear directions (please not a bunch of arguing about what to do). I have gotten some good help here in the past, and I would appreciate your advice. My dd does not want to go back. I asked her if she ever wanted to go back again and she told me, "yes", if he can become a better person and father and clean up his house. She often tells me about his house, about how disorganized it is. He has OCD. Both children talk about it, say there is no where to sit or play. Five years is a long time to live like that.
Help?
Jyotsna
No advice as everyone has already covered all my thoughts. I know you have been though a lot this past year and I hope you get things settled soon.
