Help me build my case!

[Asparagus78]

Hi!

I know I've seen a similar thread, but can't find it, so I'm hoping some of you will help me out...

My mat leave will be over in about 3 months, and I've decided to not go back to work. I'm thrilled with my decision, but it seems like I'm the only one. I went back to work after 9 months when DS1 was born, worked for 2 years then had DS2, who will soon be 6 months. I HATED every day away from DS1, and I just cannot go through it again. Every time I bring up the subject of staying home, DH says "we'll see about that when the time comes..". My family acted shocked, my friends were "surprised" and just about everyone else says negative things. Money will be tight, but we can do it (I do the family budget - we spend way more than we need to right now).

Please help me build a case to support my decision. I know DH is worried about the potential financial sacrifices (there will be some, I'm realistic...), many don't understand why I would cut short my career after studying so many years to reach my professional status, and some seem to think you just have to be plain crazy to want to stay home full-time. I'm never going to get these years back, right? That's my catch-all answer to all the above right now, but it doesn't seem too convincing....

[berry987]

The only person you need to convince this is the right decision is your DH. Everyone else...well, just tell them you made a decision that is best for your family and leave it at that. I STILL get flack for "dropping out" after 5 years from friends and ILs (my own family at least supports me!). My FIL asks me when I'm going to get a job (even though there is no financial need) every few months.

As for your DH - work out some numbers showing that financially it can be done. Then talk about the plus sides for him (less stressed family life, no grocery shopping on the weekends, no hectic mornings, etc.) Maybe agree to do it on a trial basis, if that is at all possible (say for one year).

Good luck - it's amazing to me that we have to justify this decision to so many people. I think it's great that it's not the other way around (a married woman with a JOB???), but did it really have to turn completely the other way??

Oh, someone posted this quote on another thread (something like it, anyway): When I look back on my life, I will never regret spending my time with my children.

[cappuccinosmom]

"I am doing what is best for me, my family, and most importantly, my children."

The only person who has any say in the decision at all is your husband, as you are a family unit and his opinion matters. But I think you can do sahm in a way that will limit his financial worries and let him see the huge benefit outweighs the sacrifices.

Honestly, I wouldn't bother even defending your decision to others. They aren't living your life, and they aren't mothering your kids.

[Asparagus78]

Thanks mamas. I don't know why I even feel the need to justify my decision to others. You are right - it's MY decision. And I know my DH agrees, but he's feeling pressure from family and friends and tends to question things when others around him do. I'm happy with my decision. There.