am I doing this right?

[lisavark]

So DD is now 26 months, EC'd since two weeks old. I really, really, really thought she'd be a grad by now. From about 12 months on, she would stay dry all day if I took her regularly based on timing. We never really EC'd at night, but she stays dry all night at least 50% of the time now. However...around her second birthday, she just quit being willing to go when I reminded her. Timing completely stopped working. I figured she just wants more independence with it, because, I mean, she's two!--so I've stepped back a lot. So much so that now I've put her back in trainers during the day (I visited diaperswappers for the first time in months, because I was running out of trainers, and she's outgrown about half the ones I already had!), because it doesn't make any difference in her awareness, and she doesn't own enough pants for me to keep changing her clothes all day. She always tells me when she needs to poop, which is awesome and I'm counting my blessings with that one, but I really am not sure what I should be doing about the pee. I posted about this a while ago, when she wasn't minding so much that I was reminding her, and you mamas said I should just keep taking her based on timing because that way at least I could keep her dry. But now it's kind of backfired, because she REALLY does not want to go when I tell her it's time. Every once in a while she tells me in advance when she pees, but most of the time she just pees in her pants. So...I'm mostly wondering if I'm doing this right at this point. I keep talking to her about it, reminding her that she should pay attention to her body and go potty. I tell her she can go all by herself (she can) or ask for help if she'd rather. And I've really, really backed off on reminding her. Every once in a while I'll ask if she wants to go--like right before we leave the house or something--but she almost always says no. Occasionally I'll talk about how big kids and grownups (I list all her favorite people) pee in the potty instead of in their pants, and how she can do that too. But I wonder if I should be backing off even more? Sometimes she seems annoyed when I talk about it, like I'm nagging her, but sometimes when I talk about how her favorite people use the potty, it makes her want to use it too. I'm sure at some point soon she's going to wake up and decide to never pee in her pants again, but what's the best way for me to support our communication about this in the meantime? Any suggestions/thoughts?

Oh--I did try bribery for a couple of days , just to see, but it didn't make any difference.

[sapphire_chan]

Have her toys go potty? So it isn't about you telling her and her refusing, it's about potties being where you eliminate, even pretend elimination.

[lisavark]

Eh, I've been doing the toys peeing thing since she turned one. She knows now that it's my subtle way of suggesting she might need to go.

However, so far in the past two days and nights she has had ONE miss, this morning after she woke up. She told me she was peeing in her overnight diaper. Other than that, she's told me ahead of time every time for the past two days. !!!!! Which is completely unheard of for us. I'm not calling grad yet, but maybe if this continues for couple more days...!

Very, very excited about this--she's never really taken initiative like this before!

[sapphire_chan]

I'm so sorry about the dramatic miss that happened shortly after your last post.

okay, actually, I'm : that that DIDN'T happen, but it does seem to be the case that it's safest to wait at least a week after a positive EC experience before sharing.

Oh, wait, it's been a couple days that she tells you in advance? Then you should be safe. : Go her!

[zoebird]

i know i'm lax, but i would totally let it be what it is.

right now, hawk is in a catch all pee, but no poop mode. he perfers to go to a favorite spot (leaning on a window seat looking out the window), poop standing and into his trainer, and then comes and pats his bottom. he then walks ahead of me to the bathroom, where i undo his trainer, wash him up, he picks a new trainer, and "helps" me clean the poop one.

i can't imagine that i would change my behavior in 7 months, yk? i mean, i've always been like this.

i always see this about me. what am i attatched to? why am i freaking out? what is really the problem?

oh yeah, the problem is me having an expectation, rather than accepting the situation as is.

i've tried using timing to catch the poop (he does go at the same time every day more or less), but he'll hold it and insist he doesn't ahve to go, ask to have the trainer on, and then go and poop in it! LOL

it is whatever she needs it to be right now, you know? it'll come together.

[karika]

I am currently doing EC with dd2. dd1 and her are like night and day in many ways, and this is one of them. dd1 only pooped in an ok place every time as for as I remember, and dd2 doesn't care where she poops. Sometimes dd2 will pee in potty, and sometimes not. For me it is about not using diapers, and keeping the communication about where to eliminate. However, dd2 is not 2 yet... I would say to you to back off about it entirely (as much as you can) if wet floors bother you, use the cloth trainers. She has been ECd long enough to know what it is to eliminate in an ok place. Sounds like it has become more of a power struggle maybe? If she chooses to pee her pants, just change her as soon as you notice and maybe say, "oh you peed your pants, did you forget to get to the potty?" I keep mine naked on the bottom so in case she realizes, she can hit the BBLP which is always in a prominent position in the room we are in. However, we have wet floors a lot too ... luckily our carpet was already shot from the previous child spilling all over and a dog...

[srs]

Originally Posted by zoebird

i always see this about me. what am i attatched to? why am i freaking out? what is really the problem?

oh yeah, the problem is me having an expectation, rather than accepting the situation as is.

This is so wise, about so many things.

OP, I'm there too, even with the poop thing - poop grad forever ago, pee still iffy. I just keep a mental count of all the poopy diapers I haven't changed - for one poop a day between 18-36 months, that's over 500, right?

[lisavark]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

I'm so sorry about the dramatic miss that happened shortly after your last post.

Um, yeah, pretty much.

Basically after two days of telling me in advance she went back to telling me as she was peeing. She would laugh and say, "I pee in my trainers, mommy!" This used to really bother her, so the fact that she was laughing about it kind of surprised me. Anyway, that made me decide to go back to underwear. Lately she's been saying a lot that she's a "tiny little baby," so I decided to capitalize on that and I told her that tiny little babies need mama to tell them when it's time to go potty but big toddlers pay attention to their bodies and tell mama when they need to go or just go all by themselves. So every morning now I ask her if she wants to be a tiny little baby and have mama remind her or be a big toddler and go all by herself. That has really helped with her resistance to reminders. And I put her back in underwear. We're having a couple of misses a day now, but I think I'd rather have a wet floor than risk losing her awareness. I can always get more pants if I need to. They're cheap.

On the bright side, last night she went to bed diaperless pretty much for the first time ever! She woke up at 11 and told me she needed to pee, and then she told me she didn't want the diaper. So I just put her pajamas back on, and she stayed dry all night! She's been staying dry about 50% of the time at night, but every time I've tried going diaperless at night we ended up with a wet bed. So that was really exciting! And then this morning she told me she needed to pee, and she held it till we got to the potty! Since then today she's had one miss and one pee in the toilet, so that's pretty good I guess.