New here...thinking I may have PPD :(

[silverspec02]

Hi everyone...

I came across this forum because I feel like i may have PPD and really need some support.

I gave birth to my first child a little over 2 weeks ago. It was a complicated delivery, where I was in a lot of pain both during and after the birth. The whole pregnancy itself was very stressful as well because it was unplanned and had only come into my husbands and I relationship just 5 months in.

In the hospital emotionally I felt great. They gave me the screening quiz and said I was at no risk for PPD. I came home and within the first week I started to feel bad. I figured it's the baby blues but what's scaring me is I am not feeling better now. I've went outdoors, I even went to a family get together with my husband but I don't feel different.

I am crying a lot, feeling guilty for having this baby so early in our relationship, scared it'll never be the same, extremely scared I will lose my husband, hopeless that it'll never change and that my husband and I will never get to spend time alone together, I can't sleep when the baby does sleep, and last night in bed I just felt like I was going to go crazy and lose it. My newborn isn't the easiest, he fusses a lot during the day which when my husband gets home frustrates him, and he doesn't sleep too great at night. I feel very little moments of elation.

I feel so bad for saying this, but I dont feel the bond with my newborn yet. I just want to be alone with my husband and have our time together again. It's scary to say but it's almost as if I don't want my newborn anymore.

I am even afraid to bring up these feelings to him because I don't want him to think I am crazy. I barely have any family to talk to, or even to watch my newborn which triggers my feelings even more.

I really don't even know who to call! My 6 week PP check is still ways away, but i don't know if I should call my OB ahead of time and let him know whats happening.

I hope I can find the support I need here, thanks for reading

[mom0810]

Yes, I would put a call in to your OB. Even if it's just to air your concerns. Two weeks may be too soon to call it PPD, I don't know. A great resource that really helped me was the book, Beyond the Blues, by Shoshanna Bennett. It's really inexpensive, a very quick read, and if you see yourself in what the book describes, then it's a good idea to get help sooner rather than later.

Hugs to you, I know the first few weeks can be rough, especially with a difficult birth. It's also possible that you could have PTSD following childbirth, and that might explain some of the anxieties you are having, too.

Call your OB, get a referral to someone you could talk to, and go from there. Also www.postpartum.net is a great place to go, and it also has a local resources section where you can find support groups in your area, as well as counselors who specialize in PPD.

[silverspec02]

Thank you so much..just your reply lifted my spirits quite a bit.

I'll definitely give my OB a call and see what he says. I'll check out the book as well..a stroll to the book store with the baby might help me a lot anyway.

I'll keep updated here..hopefully this is baby blues but even if it's not, I know I'll be able to get through it with the support here and from my doctor.

[mom0810]

I'm always here and I've been through PPD twice and PTSD following childbirth. I did go the route of meds + therapy but I have progressed to natural means, taking fish oil and other vitamins to help things. Get out in the sun as much as you can, take your prenatal vitamin, eat well (I know that one is near to impossible right now-- I survived on Veggie burgers and cookies for the first two weeks!), talk to friends, family, whoever (you can always email me, I am more than happy to chat), and please read up on this and talk to your OB. Having a support system is huge, and sometimes, just knowing what you are going through and what you are feeling is normal and others have "been there" is a huge help.

Hugs. This does get better.