Any single Moms who choose to stay home or work part time? - Page 2

[meandmine]

I am posting again just because this issue is so important to me. I know my kids are really struggling because I work ft. I felt irresponsible not having a job asap after stbx walked out, so I immediately enrolled in grad school. Within 6 months of his leaving I was working ft ...

I love what I do; couldn't be a better fit, but between the hours, the commute and the incredibly high expectations, I have very little left for my children. I have cut back on all my volunteering and that feels bad--if you don't volunteer you lose your connection and your influence in the community. I am so busy multi-tasking that 1/2 the time I don't notice what my kids are wearing on their feet (last week my older dd wore flip flops to church; it was 55 degrees out; ugh) so will I notice when they are bigger issues (sex, drugs, depression)?

Just saying that if you feel you can't juggle it all and there is any way financially to work pt or ah or not at all--follow that path if you can afford it.

I am trying to figure out what changes I can make so I live my values (being invested in my children and their school and community) while staying afloat financially.

M

[mama_ani]

I am a sahm, I have been for 15 years and this is what I've always wanted to do. If all things stay the same I have to find a job in six years. That thought puts me into a panic and makes me really sad. I've always wanted to be a sahm and homeschool. I guess six years is long enough that I can figure out some job that I can do around homeschooling or from home.

[Regine Meyer]

good day,its also a single mom here,and i just wants to know more about this part time job??can you please tell me where i can find one-i dnt get any maintanance from my childs father so its a struggle to survive.please help

[floss&ferd]

For now, I am working part time but earn full-time pay.  Two twelve hour shifts on Sat/Sun.  Kids are with stbxh or with my mom.  (Thank goodness for my mom.)

I'm tired of working weekends and missing so many fun activities but I also can't imagine leaving them for more hours in a week. I like getting them up and ready for school and seeing them get off the bus.

 Once the divorce is final, I am going to have to work more to pay off bills etc.  Once I am out of debt, I will probably find a more M-F job so that I can attend weekend activities and maybe even have a social life again.

[mommy68]

I WAH and I am in school part-time online. I love it. My children are back in school this year, I was home schooling my middle child up until this year though. My youngest is 2 and in part-time gov't paid child care (like someone up above mentioned their child is) as well because I am in school and work PT. It works for us. I can't imagine not being here to take my kids to school and to pick them up and be there with them right after school. If I had to work even part-time outside the home, the driving time would mean I wouldn't see any of my kids til 5pm or after and we would have much shorter evenings together. Their dad totally agrees with this and is on the same page as me, thank goodness.

[BundleFishMama]

I wish, more than anything in the world, that continuing to stay at home, or working PT, were an option for me. It's breaking my heart to put my youngest in daycare and to stop homeschooling and put my older three in school. TBH, it's one of the biggest reasons if not THE biggest reason I put up with abuse for a long time and didn't divorce my STBX a lot sooner. But there is NO other viable option for me. I live in a VERY expensive area and I will barely be making ends meet even WITH a FT job and child support/alimony. I'm very happy for the mamas who are able to do it, though!

[MariesMama]

I work part time as a cocktail waitress (glamorous, I know), so that DD and I have time together.  I am fortunate to make as much doing that three or four days a week as I would at a traditional nine to five.  I have had the same job since before I was pregnant, and it works for us.

I also receive a good chunk of child support - I added in child care costs after ex moved away.  Babysitters have been one stressor for me though!  I am blessed to live in a college town, so there is no shortage, but I've had to be the bad guy and fire a couple after they were flaky and left me scrambling at the last moment.  Right now I have an amazing sitter, the daughter of a coworker, who comes to the house while SO and I are at work. 

[rubelin]

I do both, as I work from home as a freelancer and it ends up basically being party time.  Luckily, I get a decent amount of child and spousal support and I have figured out how to live very frugally, especially as I live in an area with a very high cost of living (Los Angeles). It's very hard and a huge struggle but we haven't had good child care or school options and it has been more stressful trying to afford to pay someone else to care for my kids.

[CoopersMommy0308]

I have a part time job in the Child Watch dept of the Y and I can take my boys to work with me. Its perfect for our family. There is no way I could work ft outside of the home right now. That would be too many transitions at once. My husband moved out about 2 months ago. 

[sren]

Right now I have enough money to pay the bills (not counting the lawyers which are crazy $$$) with temporary maintenance and child support.  We will continue homeschooling this year, and I am getting my ducks in a row to start grad school 1-2 nights a week as early as next fall.  My hope is to be a SAHM and part-time student until I get my degree and can transition into the new career.  By that time my kids will be teenagers and not need constant supervision (I hope).  I might be able to start on a part-time basis.  All is uncertain, darnit!

[Devaya]

I have worked part time for some of the time since I've been a single mother, but have mostly been a part time student and not working. We are not able to do the things other working families do, like go on proper holidays and big outings and lunches out etc, but the cost of that is HUGELy outweighed for me by being able to be with my son, pick him up every day from preschool and being able to be there in the school holidays - we've had a fantastic time,. It's been hard at times and I've often, often questioned my decision, but most of the time I feel good about it. I plan to work part time from when he starts proper school. I'm fortunate enough to have state-paid preschool and good child support (he now pays more than the government requirement), and I receive state benefits (welfare). I'm only a small amount above the technical government determined 'poverty' line, but to be honest I rarely feel poor. I think it's a state of mind. I'd been used to being frugal before that anyway from living with a drinking alcoholic who used up what little spending money we had, so now I feel rich in comparison - I can do the things in life that are really important to me, like taking my son camping, and big expensive holidays aren't important to me. Of course I'd love to be able to save and it hurts sometimes to have to say no to him so often when he asks for toys or treats, but I still think he benefits more by being with me nearly full time. 

[naturesbabies]

I am a single mom who works part time.  I started out working full time as a customer service representative in a local call center and since I've been there long enough now, i have been able to get a part time shift which is 10 hour days, 3 days a week.  I honestly don't know what to do with my time now!  It's only been a month and I'm working on getting into a rhythm with my 4 yr old.  I'm even more strapped for cash now than I was before, but it's worth it to be able to spend more time with my daughter.  I am blessed to have the option to do this though.  I don't have many expenses at the moment and it has never been hard for me to find joy in living simply.  I don't want or need a lot.  So it works.

[Mom31]

I work part time and am a single mom to two kids. I clean houses which is full time pay on part time hours and I hope to get more houses now that kids are in school. Money is tight so I got a job part time at a gas station. Just 15 hours a week... which I am struggling with because the hours are not what I thought they would be. I get a decent sum of child support a month as xh has a great job( 900 a month) tho our house rent is 650 so that eats it up. We live very simply but hoping to get a few more houses to clean.  I reccomend house cleaning for anyone!!!  I am not a great housekeeper but did learn how to do it to make money to support us.  I generally get 50 a house in my area and it takes me about 3 hours to clean.

[animegeekmom]

I used to be a SAHM...but once I finish school, I will have to work full-time. I cannot stay where i am now, and will have to work full-time in order to support my boys. stbx is out of the picture and cannot have any contact with the boys. So no child support either. I dont want my youngest to have to go to daycare...but I have no choice. I feel horrible.

[lifeisjustthis]

I work from home. My situation is unique b/c I work for my family's business (so the job I do probably wouldn't exist elsewhere) and I live with my mom (living here so STBX could go to school & we'd have reduced rent). If I had to pay rent, I could *probably* do it if the kids & I were in a 1 bedroom or studio or something...and we gave up all the extras.

If my family ever sells their business (which, considering the economy, isn't likely to happen for awhile), I would be in a bad place. I homeschool both my girls and they've never been in any kind of daycare. But I know that if I had to find a new job, I'd still look for something that allowed me to homeschool & be with my kids.

[mayaandx]

Well, if anyone is interested, I live in downstate NY/Hudson Valley (Westchester) and am looking for a single mom with child in my son's age range (media free also) who can work 10-12 hours of childcare/household support/driving in exchange for free rent and mutual support on a 1 BR apt on the first floor of our house.

I think all moms and especially single moms have to stick together and support each other. This is how its been through most of human history until the advent of nuclear families. Not only does it help financially but helps emotionally, socially, psychologically, etc. Why do so many of us struggle alone to get it all done? I'm a big believer in sharing work. See my post below.

Maya

Mama of one in downstate NY/ Westchester County (White Plains) seeking female housemate with child between 5-8. Free rent on a nice one BR apt in our home with use of yard and house (3 story home w/yard) in exchange for 12 hrs a week childcare/driving/household support, plus utilities. Seeking likeminded, financially stable moms interested in long-term (platonic) relationship of mutual support. We are: family of 3, omnivorous (nutrient-dense traditional foods, limit gluten and dairy), media free, like to grow and make our own as much as possible, active. Are you interested in alternative education, especially Waldorf? Would saving on rent help you afford the kind of education you want for your child? All applicants considered, but prefer single mothers with one child interested in alternative education with media-free kids for best lifestyle/space match. Half an hour to Grand Central on Metro North express train. We commute 25 min every day to an excellent Waldorf school & would love to rideshare. Trial weekends and acquaintance period would be needed to ensure a good match.  Email detailed letter of interest to explore this opportunity further. I can send much more info about us and the situation. Will need references as well at some point. Thanks!