All Over Again!

[MommaCrystal]

I am having a bit of Deja Vu those morning!

I am due with 3rd in just over a month. I remember being about this far along with my second. One morning I found myself wearing tent like t-shirts of my husbands (as nothing I own really fits any more). I was feeling gross and frumpy. Meanwhile my husband was bouncing out the door to a big day at work with some big presentation toting along the travel mug I used every single day back in the day when I went off to work too (symbolic to my past life to me I guess). The whole scene made my hormones just bubble over. I felt inadequate and worthless. I cried a good cry. It was all just very ridiculous.

Well, this morning my husband is going off again to work in a suit and tie. He's got big plans for his day. He is fired up and ready to tackle the world. Here I sit in a tent like t-shirt and sweats, oh so very pregnant. To top it off I had food in my hair from fixing breakfast. I'm having a very similar teary hormonal break down. LOL! My poor DH!

It is different this time. Up until 2 weeks ago I WAS working again. Part-time. So now I'm not feeling inadequate about my ability to land work or provide for my family if I so choose or need to. Home is where I belong. No doubt. Since that time I've rediscovered some passions in my life and I am feeling quite fulfilled on many fronts.

Today it is more about feeling big and gross and frumpy while my husband looked oh so handsome. He smelled so good! I wanted to take him back to bed and.... well anyway. Makes me jealous of all the other women he'll encounter today. While I have no thoughts that he would ever do anything less than honest while he is away from me. Today.. part of me just couldn't blame him if he did.

He'll be engaged in interesting conversations and discussions today. He'll work closely with many females that he shares much in common with. They'll all be dressed well and at their best. I could see that being a draw for some men. Especially when they have a tired, overly pregnant, frumpy wife at home whose brain cells are so mushed right now she can't carry on a conversation about much of anything.

Anyway... that's my day today. In my heart I know I'm just hormonal an tired and ready for the baby to come and my husband's heart is truly at home.

[MoonWillow]

I totally know how you feel. If its any consolation though I bet you anything your DH doesn't see you the way you see yourself.

[Storm Bride]

I can almost guarantee that your dh doesn't see you the way you see yourself.

Women have a tendency - at least in our culture - to see themselves as "big and fat" when they're pregnant. You're not fat. You're not "overly" pregnant. You're at term, with your husband's child growing inside you. You're not "gross" - you have a whole other person inside you.

Ugh - not upset with you, OP. It just bugs me that our culture is so effed up that a pregnant woman near term thinks she's big and gross!!

This isn't directly connected, but I just watched the DVD of my choir's performance from last May. I was 36 weeks pregnant with my fifth baby. I'm right in the middle of the choir - both vertically and horizontally (this is basically because I'm an average height alto). I remember being afraid my big belly was going to knock the women off the risers in front of me. I was huge. And, you know something? I focused on myself for the entire DVD...and there's no way to tell I'm even pregnant. When I bowed at the very end, someone who knew could see it, from the way the light bounced off my shirt....that's it. I looked healthy and happy - and I was.

You're not gross or frumpy. You're pregnant. Your dh knows it, and I'm sure you look beautiful to him. (I've known guys who think the most beautiful women are pregnant women. Even guys who don't think that tend to find their own pregnant wives very beautiful. The very few men I've known who don't are...not very nice people, not to put too fine a point on it.