Worried ds3 is weaning prematurely...

[honeybee]

I'm currently nursing my 4 year-old (he's allowed twice a day) and my 19-month old. My toddler has stretched out his nursing so much, I'm worried he's weaning. I am pregnant with #4, but I don't think pregnancy is really the issue. I have tandem nursed through every pregnancy (well, except my first, obviously) without any issues. I'm one of the few who keeps up a milk supply and doesn't have painful nursing while pg. Tandem nursing has gone well overall, and I think it's one factor in why my kids are so close. For a few months, I was even nursing 3, and had planned to do that again this time around.

But ds3 is not like his brothers. I'm a SAHM, he has never had a bottle or a pacifier. We babywear and cosleep. We do baby-led solids, but he was a very early solids eater (compared to my other two at least, I did manage to mostly hold him off until 6 months), eats like a horse, and is VERY attached to his dad. He would rather get comfort from daddy's shoulder than my breasts.

He will only be about 25 months old when the new baby arrives... this is a bit shorter spacing than we've done before. He is 19 months now and has spread out his nursings a lot. He will go all day without nursing before I realize it. And he has spread out his night nursing, too. How can I still have a 4 year old nursing, and have another one wean before age 2??

I try to offer, but he is a stubborn little cus, and it pretty much has to be his idea or he's not interested. However, if his brother is nursing, then all of a sudden he is interested and tries to push him off my lap so he gets his turn. But, somehow, I don't think letting ds2 nurse more often so as to use sibling rivalry to get ds3 to nurse is the best answer.

Help!

[MeepyCat]

I don't know - I think that if a child this age shows signs of losing interest in nursing, it's not premature for him to wean. But I also would expect that he'll wind up regaining some interest when the new baby comes (for reasons of sibling rivalry), so my inclination would be not to push nursing more than he wants to for now, and to assume he'll want more later.

On the other hand, if he does decide to wean completely, why *can't* you have a four year-old who nurses and a two year-old who doesn't? Where's the rule that says that your kids have to wean in the same sequence as they were born?

[lookatreestar]

different kids have different needs and personalities. my ds would rather talk himself to sleep sometimes (when he is over tired) rather than nurse. where as my dd (3) is just now starting to fall asleep sometimes without nursing. i dont see him weaning anytime soon but i doubt he will be as attached as she is. however i dont know that for a fact!

[tnmom66]

He may be ready even if you aren't. My son weaned at 15 months during an ear infection. I didn't offer later, and he didn't ask. By that time, his comfort object was my hair. At bed time he'd always say, "Take Mama's hair" and he'd take a piece and hold it to his face.

He seemed to do okay without the nutrition, etc. Very healthy child. But I was kind of sad for him.

I guess "child led weaning" goes both ways for the Mom.

Lydia