Daytime routines???

[Mishta]

I'm wondering if others would mind sharing what their days are like with the new baby...

I am a first time momma and am still adjusting to my new life (my life before baby was as a grad student and my days were always very busy and planned and routine) with my beautiful baby girl (Ruby Jane). She is wonderful but I find myself not sure if I'm "doing this right". She is only 3 weeks old so our days are still very much consumed by sleeping (hers not mine, I have trouble sleeping during the day), breastfeeding and changing diapers, but other than that not a whole lot gets done. She's awake a little more during the days now and so we do spend some time face to face and staring at toys etc., and a lot of time soothing, she seems to be a bit fussy in the mornings right now and needs me to walk around with her or hold her in order to calm down.

Also, how is everyone sleeping at night? I find that I seem to get about 5.5-6.5 hours of broken sleep/night. I'm managing on that, though I do think the lack of sleep is contributing to my still being a little weepy during the day. I worry a lot that I'm not "doing this right" even though I know that "doing it right" varies for everyone.

Anyways, I just wanted to get an idea of how other moms are handling their new little ones and to share ideas really.

Thanks!

[judybean]

First off, it sounds like you're doing everything just the way it should be done Congratulations on your sweet bundle of joy! I happen to LOVE her name too! Ruby was on our short list.. and Jane is what we used as a middle name for our March babe also!

Babies don't require much. They pretty much eat, sleep and poop (and wet their diapers too, of course) And really.. yeah.. that's about all. So, it SEEMS basic enough, right?! Like it shouldn't take THAT much time to deal with those few needs/!? right?!? ugh.. not at all! Babies take a LOT of time even if they don't do much!! So basically, you don't have any time for anything else. Maybe you'll find a few minutes to grab yourself something to eat (and that's important! YOU need fuel so you can make your baby the best food ever!).. but there's not much extra time for anything else.

My own dd4 is now 5.5 weeks old and it's almost crazy how much a wee babe changes just in a week or two Our nights have *thankfully* gotten even better. She'll regularly have a long period of sleep starting around 10 or 11 p.m. and it will last at least four hours usually... then, it's hit or miss how the rest of the night/early morning goes.. but it's not too bad. I'd say that side-lying nursing helps SOOOOO much for ME getting a few extra zzz's

Lack of sleep really is hard.. but.. it doesn't last forever, so you make do with what you get, I figure. Weepiness *is* exacerbated by lack of sleep, but I think a lot of that comes from hormonal craziness that's going on in your body right now.. I mean.. you *did* just grow a human inside your own body for nine months... things are bound to take time to settle back down... lol

So... it sounds like you're meeting the needs of your sweet little girl while working on trying to meet your own needs as well... that's about all you can do for a whlie Keep on, mama!

[ciga]

I'm a first time mama too
The last 3 weeks I have been totally spoiled by my mom and sisters being here to help me during the day so now that my mom is gone (she left this morning) I'm curious to see how our days pan out.

So far, it is pretty much the same as you said. Soothing, diaper changing, sleeping (though I do manage to take at least one good nap a day with him), and more and more face time every day.
We were dealing with a mildly red butt so a few days ago we started having twice daily diaper free floor time. He seems to like it a lot. Stays really calm and checks everything out for at least 15-20 minutes at a time.

Nights really aren't terrible. I know they could be worse. With the exception of a few nights where he had a little cold and was particularly unhappy, Ruben gives us decent 3-4 hour sleeping stretches. We do end up having at least one freak out every night, though. He eats, gets a clean diaper and then wakes completely up and spazzes for a minimum of 1/2 hour. He cries so hard he looks like he is going to explode. I think it has to do with gas but who knows. We try everything to clam him. The other night I tried to let my husband get some sleep through one episode only to end up in tears with my husband awake anyway (who can sleep through a baby screaming?). Basically he calmed the baby down and reminded me that we're a team and I need to ask for help when I'm overwhelmed.

It is all a huge adjustment. Its a fun and frustrating and totally terrifying adjustment.

Have you ever tried Rescue Remedy Sleep? I started using it for pregnancy insomnia and have continued because it is lovely. It just helps calm my mind enough to pass out (very useful during the day when your body and mind don't want to sleep)

[Juvysen]

Sounds about right. Our routine is something like this:

9-ish - wake up - baby gets new dipe, floor time w/siblings, mama gets tea and breakfast (dh gets breakfast for older 2 kids)
9:15-ish - nurse baby, I drink tea, type 1 handed and check out mdc, fb, etc

hold baby, change more diapers, lots of comfort nursing... eventually baby falls asleep (maybe 11 or 12?), I put him in the swing and grab a quick shower, get dressed, set kids up w/lunch...

couple hrs. later, baby wakes up, change diaper, nurse, maybe go out someplace, come home, more diapers, nursing, napping for baby. Dinner around 6:30 or 7...other kids in bed around 8, lots of nursing til bed at around 11. We cosleep/sidelying nurse. I think usually about 3 times he wakes to nurse plus before we get up in the morning? Hard to tell b/c he sorta just has access. I change his diaper around 4:30 or 5.

[Mishta]

Thank you to all of you for your replies, I find it so comforting to hear others stories. I feel like I'm totally fumbling through this and it is so nice to hear that I'm not that different then every other mother out there. Ciga it sounds like we've had very similar experiences... our guests just left last week and my husband went back to work at the same time. And we've also had to deal with a red bum from yeast, but that seems to be calming down now.

Anyways, thank you again for all of your feedback and encouragement. I am very lucky to have her, and she really is the most amazing little girl, so being this overwhelmed/emotional kind of caught me off guard. I'm glad I posted and will definitely keep posting in the future. I find the support really helpful.

[cocoanib]

nak
great thread. i was wondering the same thing.
i'll have to come back and post mine.

[mama kk]

Our baby just turned 7 weeks, and this is how my days are generally right now.

In the mornings DH gets up to do farm stuff and DD gets up around 7 and he gets her breakfast. He lets me and the baby sleep in until 8ish. Since I have very little alone time with the babe the rest of the day I love this time first thing in the morning just cuddling in bed together.
After that I get up and eat breakfast/ nurse him. DH leaves for work and I change him/ get DD dressed. Attempt to prop him up in the boppy pillow on the couch to do the morning dishes... rarely get through them before he wants to be held. He falls asleep within an hour or two of his waking and sleeps on and off (mostly in a sling) for hours after that. It seems like he has three or 4 good alert awake times a day~ maybe lasting an hour or two at the most. Other times he will wake and nurse and fall back to sleep. Just in the past week or two he started falling asleep somewhere between 7 and 10 and staying asleep (well, waking up every 2-4 hours to nurse ) until morning. I don't get to nap because my 2 year old stopped with her naps That would be awesome...

Honestly all I do ALL day is change diapers, nurse, try to get him to fall asleep enough to set him down to finish the piling dishes. Somewhere in there I also try and change the laundry and parent my 2 year old. It is baffling to me how hard it is to keep the house clean and do basic stuff with a newborn. It sounds like you are doing it all just right to me~ it just is very repetitive and feels like you are not being productive. But you are, it is just a whole other world than school...

And as for feeling weepy, I think that is also totally normal~ esp. for being your first. I would keep tabs though and be honest with yourself about your overall feelings and be aware if what you are experiencing is ppd. I don't know how much weepiness is "normal" though...

[judybean]

Thought I'd add my 'lightbulb moment' from the other day...

Trying to clean with a newborn is like trying to doggie paddle with your hands tied behind your back... you know you CAN do it, but darned if it just doesn't work right!!

[catchthewind]

DD2 seems to be more of an early bird than DD1 ever was. DD1 has always slept in, even as a newborn, whereas DD2 is often awake at 6 or 7am, and unfortunately tends to wake DD1 up more often than not at that point. Though sometimes after we're all awake for an hour or so we lay down together again and go back to sleep. (DH leaves for work around 5 or 6am so he'd be long gone already at this point.)

During the day, I stick DD2 in the mei tei if I need to get stuff done and I haven't found it too hard to keep up. But she's a little more chill in the mei tei than DD1 was; DD1 was only really happy in it if she was asleep or if I was moving a lot. I've been doing a lot of gardening; I think getting me and DD1 outside every day is really important to us both. I don't really have a schedule though. She's more awake during the days now, but we're fans of the Continuum Concept and I tend to go about my day with her in the mei tei watching as long as she's happy with that. (Basically that you don't stop your day for babies/children, but rather make them part of what you're doing anyway.) She also doesn't cluster nurse much like DD1 did, she'll have a long nurse and then be happy or asleep for a couple of hours, so that's nice and makes it easier.

She tends to have one long period of sleep at night, about 3-5 hours, and then she's awake every 2-3 hours after that, sometimes as much as every hour. It wouldn't be so bad except DD1 isn't quite nightweaned and if DD2 wakes her up, she usually wants to nurse too. Or sometimes if she wakes up on her own she'll want to nurse, meaning that even if DD2 sleeps 5 hours I don't always get that. Luckily, most nights DD1 does sleep through so it's not too bad.

[Right of Passage]

DS3 is 4.5 weeks old and we're just starting to get a routine. Not on purpose and I'm sure it'll change at any moment

He's up for the day around 9, we get the baby getting ready things done (diaper, clothes, nursing and burping) then he hangs out and stares at the window or toys or something brightly colored while I get the big kids and myself ready, then he gets put in a sling/wrap/mei tai and we're up for the day.

He's up until at least 11am then cat naps for lunch while I wear him it's no longer than an hour typically a half hour. Then he crashes around 3pm and sleeps until sometime between 5pm and 7pm then he's up with me until 10pm or 11pm. He'll "play" during that window of time, and by play I mean we make faces at each other which he loves! I also talk to him and tell him things about our day, about him, about his life so far. Last night he actually played on his play mat smacking the dangling toys so that was fun.

He wakes ups long enough to find a nipple during the night, this happens at least 3 times but no real sleep disturbance for either of us. Then the cycle starts over. Mostly he's rarely out of my arms, if ever out of my reach. If he is he's with someone else.

Mostly we go with the flow and find what works for us.