~Spotlight on Litcrit~ (April 14-17)

[Tiffanoodle]

Litcrit, this is YOUR thread! We'll ask questions for you to answer and you can add in anything else you'd like to share about yourself, your pregnancy, and your family. Anything at all!

Other June mamas, ask any question you like, it's all fair game. Of course, our spotlight mama can decline to answer anything that makes her uncomfortable

These first few are from our intro thread, so we can all remember who you are!
EDD:
Name:
Age:
Location:
Family (partner, other children, and/or furbabies):
Baby's Gender (hopes or guesses):
Names you like:
Birth Plans/Preferences:

And a few more so we can get to know you better!
What number pregnancy is this for you?
Is your baby very active, or laid back?
Have you "popped"?
Occupation:
Hobbies/Interests:
Share one weird/interesting fact about yourself:

[Litcrit]

Originally Posted by Tiffanoodle

Litcrit, this is YOUR thread! We'll ask questions for you to answer and you can add in anything else you'd like to share about yourself, your pregnancy, and your family. Anything at all!

Other June mamas, ask any question you like, it's all fair game. Of course, our spotlight mama can decline to answer anything that makes her uncomfortable

No questions make me uncomfortable, seriously

These first few are from our intro thread, so we can all remember who you are!
EDD: June 5 (what I think), or 7 (what the 1st u/s showed); or May 31 (according to LMP)
Name: Danica
Age: I turned 28 yesterday
Location: Belgrade, Serbia, ex Serbia and Montenegro, ex Yugoslavia, the Balkans South East Europe...
Family (partner, other children, and/or furbabies): Husband, SAHD during the day, musician by night; 3 yo DD
Baby's Gender (hopes or guesses): I both hope for and sort of feel it's a boy, maybe because I was told with DD I was having a boy, so I never got over the idea of a boy that's supposed to arrive but somehow still hasn't, if that makes sense. Now they haven't been able to see anything, because, as the doctor said, the u/s is a 'museum exhibit and he can't even see the important stuff'. I guess u/s sucks here.
Names you like: We like Danilo for a boy (Slavic version of 'Daniel') because of the 'justuce, judge' and 'God' roots - our daughter's name is Ana which has as one of its meanings 'God's grace, mercy or favor'. Sort of like balancing mercy with justice and all that. She has always been an easy child, so we're sort of inviting what's coming to us with the second one's name. . We can't seem to come up with any girl names. I sort of like Dina as the feminine version of the Hebrew 'justice' theme, but DH is not thrilled (in our language it's the same word as 'sand dune'
Birth Plans/Preferences: Giving birth with a wonderful midwife in another country? Sigh. Not happy with the options here, and not comfortable with UC, so I'll be going to the most natural-friendly hospital we have here... it's falling apart and there are cockroaches, but that beats routine pit, episiotomies, fundal pressure and concentration-camp-like atmosphere that I'd get elsewhere...

And a few more so we can get to know you better!
What number pregnancy is this for you? 2
Is your baby very active, or laid back? This one's evil and I think he/she's trying to break out of there!
Have you "popped"? I've been getting comments like 'any day now, huh?' for a couple of weeks, so...
Occupation: I teach English at a university. Currently writing... well, researching... for my PhD thesis combining Shakespeare, women and theology
Hobbies/Interests: Ouch. Nothing but fora and other stuff on the Internet lately
Share one weird/interesting fact about yourself: When I was as old as 10, I used to tell people I'd be a witch when I grew up . I had my own rituals and potions. I used to dress up as a witch for costume parties and scare little girls dressed as fairies, princesses and ballerinas.

[at_the_hip]

How is it living there? Did you grow up in Southeast Europe?

That's rough to have to choose the best of the worst for birthing options. You are a strong mama! Do they allow rooming in? How long do you have to stay there...can you leave right away if mama and baby are healthy? Do many women seek narcotics or epidural for pain or are they readily available there? It is always interesting to hear the different 'norms' for birth in different countries!

You could always come to Canada to have your baby. Did you know that if you do that, your baby will have Canadian citizenship? Actually I was told that our country encourages that kind of practice and some parents do this so that one day when their child is grown, they themselves can be sponsored to Canada by their grown child! It's the easiest way to immigrate I suppose, even if it takes a whole generation! LOL

[Litcrit]

Originally Posted by at_the_hip

How is it living there? Did you grow up in Southeast Europe?

It's my home and I've got to say it's really been fun so far. Growing up, I had a civil war in my then country, which then fell apart; then an economic crisis where people's salaries melted to about 5 bucks a month; then we were bombed by NATO; all that time there were anti-gov't movements and demonstrations in the streets. Living in Belgrade was relatively easy and safe, though; people in Bosnia and parts of Croatia and Kosovo really died and suffered.

Originally Posted by at_the_hip

That's rough to have to choose the best of the worst for birthing options. You are a strong mama! Do they allow rooming in? How long do you have to stay there...can you leave right away if mama and baby are healthy? Do many women seek narcotics or epidural for pain or are they readily available there? It is always interesting to hear the different 'norms' for birth in different countries!

Yeah; this hospital I'm going to is the only one where my husband can be present at the birth with relativ ease! The first time I gave birth, at a different hospital, he couldn't be there because they required him to have had classes they no longer offered , to have had tests done weeks before, and to pay quite a significant sum of money! And still, even if he'd jumped through all those hoops, they still couldn't have guaranteed that the one room where husbands are allowed would be available!

There's rooming in everywhere, even at the worst hospitals; it's because they realized their version of it means they don't do anything. They put the baby in a crib next to you and walk away. If you ask for assistance or information, they tell you you're a bad mother. You have a huge mediolateral episiotomy incision and can't really stand up, walk or sit. Good luck.

You have to stay for 3 days. I don't know what happens if one walks away AMA, but I'm scared. This is a post-Communist country and Institutions have the status of pagan deities.

Oh, epidurals are expensive and difficult to get - you have to arrange it in advance and then bribe an anaesthesiologist to actually get there and then pay the official fee. Most women go natural, which I'd normally say is a good thing, but in this case it's not really a free choice for most.

Originally Posted by at_the_hip

You could always come to Canada to have your baby. Did you know that if you do that, your baby will have Canadian citizenship? Actually I was told that our country encourages that kind of practice and some parents do this so that one day when their child is grown, they themselves can be sponsored to Canada by their grown child! It's the easiest way to immigrate I suppose, even if it takes a whole generation! LOL

I just imagined going into labor and rushing to Canada to give birth!

[Tiffanoodle]

Oh, my word. I think I'd be terrified to get pregnant if I had to go through that in the hospital.

[Litcrit]

Originally Posted by Tiffanoodle

Oh, my word. I think I'd be terrified to get pregnant if I had to go through that in the hospital.

This baby was a surprise

But seriously, I still have some faith in humanity left - the hospital I'm going to this time doesn't do pit, does episiotomies only in emergencies (as in breech birth - head stuck - that sort of thing), encourages fathers to be present (the only hospital in my country to do so; two other ones grudgingly allow it and overcharge for it), and actually has a birth tub (though it may be out of order... but it shows their philosophy at least ). One doctor once tried to perform fundal pressure on a woman and the midwife punched him! The only thing I'll have to fight is routine amniotomy after 4cms.

The big issue in my country is that, although the law allows for it, a patient refusing interventions is virtually unheard of. Doctors are godlike creatures that are to be obeyed and never questioned.

[bananabee]

Originally Posted by Tiffanoodle

Oh, my word. I think I'd be terrified to get pregnant if I had to go through that in the hospital.

Ditto that.

Litcrit, I'm glad you've got things figured out and planned, and wish you a very smooth easy birth. I can't believe they would say you're a bad mother if you ask for help. Ridiculous. Why would they bother to make you stay if they're not going to help?

[pacificbliss]

It must be an interesting experience for you to come to these boards and listen to us fuss over birth plans I am sure you will have a lovely birth. Where was your first child born?

[Litcrit]

Originally Posted by bananabee

I can't believe they would say you're a bad mother if you ask for help. Ridiculous. Why would they bother to make you stay if they're not going to help?

Because they get extra funding from the state based on how many beds they fill for how many days. I spent 11 days in the concentration camp known as the L&D hospital with my first child because of a "potential infection". I kid you not.

Originally Posted by pacificbliss

It must be an interesting experience for you to come to these boards and listen to us fuss over birth plans I am sure you will have a lovely birth. Where was your first child born?

The biggest L&D hospital in Serbia; they do over 7000 births a year; I guess I had it coming - of course it's going to be like a conveyer belt in a slaughterhouse when you have so many births every day. It was just the closest to home and the easiest to get to, and I was naive enough to think that because they're probably lazy and overworked, they'll just leave me alone and let nature take its course.

In some ways, believe it or not, it's actually a bit better here - VBACs are the norm, as are vaginal breech and twin births - there are no lawsuits to speak of, and hospitals receive funding partly based on how low their c-section rate is. The big complaint among women here is "The evil doctor wouldn't do a c-section, and I had a previous c-section/a breech baby/twins..."

[Paige, CPM]

It is so funny and ironic that you have things we want and we have things you want...the grass is always greener, right? Perhaps someday we will get it right in the US and in Serbia. Sigh!!! And when I will the lottery and don't need to earn a living I will be a free traveling midwife!

[Gingercat]

Oh, I've always thought that Serbia was a lot similar to Greece in a lot of issues, but certainly it is not similar at all when it comes to birth and labor! I wonder if this is because you were an ex-communist country?

Here the conventional pregnancy/birth model resembles the US one, very medicalised. But you can always find alternative ways to do things, like having your baby at home with a skilled midwife or, in my case, with my naturally-minded OB.

[Litcrit]

Originally Posted by Paige, CPM

It is so funny and ironic that you have things we want and we have things you want...the grass is always greener, right? Perhaps someday we will get it right in the US and in Serbia. Sigh!!! And when I win the lottery and don't need to earn a living I will be a free traveling midwife!

Any chance of winning the lottery within the next 5-7 weeks?

Originally Posted by Gingercat

Oh, I've always thought that Serbia was a lot similar to Greece in a lot of issues, but certainly it is not similar at all when it comes to birth and labor! I wonder if this is because you were an ex-communist country?

Here the conventional pregnancy/birth model resembles the US one, very medicalised. But you can always find alternative ways to do things, like having your baby at home with a skilled midwife or, in my case, with my naturally-minded OB.

I'm sure it has very much to do with being an ex-communist country. The Institution is always right and has the only acceptable solution for your life, and everyone seems to have this terror of doing anything outside of Institutions, even if it's legal and sane. For instance, many people are outraged by the fact that we don't send our 3yo to preschool and think she'll never be properly socialized and institutionalized.

Homebirth is not quite illegal, but it's not a legal, official option either. There is one HB midwife in the entire country, I can't afford her, and judging from the stories I've heard, I wouldn't trust her more than the hospital. You can't choose OBs here - not officially, anyway, you can bribe someone though - so whoever happens to be there when you go into labor will attend your birth. Which usually ends up being better than bribing a specific OB to be there, because that most often means being pressured to induce during his/her shift.

[Paige, CPM]

Yeah, we actually won $3 last week...my husband wants to use our new found wealth to buy 3 more tickets. LOL!

[Gingercat]

Originally Posted by Litcrit

You can't choose OBs here - not officially, anyway, you can bribe someone though - so whoever happens to be there when you go into labor will attend your birth.

This is usually the case here in public hospitals as it is also the case in many EU countries (eg in Britain where I used to live).

But don't you have OBs in the private sector? Here these are quite the norm so I have a private OB and I'm going to give birth in a large private hospital or at home. So in essense I can choose to have the kind of birth that I want.

[Litcrit]

Originally Posted by Gingercat

This is usually the case here in public hospitals as it is also the case in many EU countries (eg in Britain where I used to live).

But don't you have OBs in the private sector? Here these are quite the norm so I have a private OB and I'm going to give birth in a large private hospital or at home. So in essense I can choose to have the kind of birth that I want.

The private sector is allowed to do anything except handle births!