at what age did you start to make rules about not nursing in public places?

[indigosky]

When DD (28 months) and I are out and about (Music Together class, storytime at the library, at the bank, etc.), she asks to nurse constantly. I often delay her ("we need to finish making this deposit, we can't nurse while we're standing in line"), but if she feels strongly, I do allow her to nurse (at the bank yesterday, we found some chairs in a quiet corner).

I have zero issues around modesty or issues about nursing in public -- I've been doing this for over two years now, and generally feel good about being a breastfeeding role model! But I'm a little tired -- OK, sometimes a little embarrassed -- of having the only kid who nurses at storytime, even when there are tons of little babies there. And it's not just that she nurses once -- often she wants to nurse nearly the entire time we're there.

So I'm thinking of experimenting with some gentle limits, probably starting with music class, where she only nurses a few times a class (instead of storytime where she's much needier), telling her we'll nurse at home but not in class. I don't know if it will work -- it feels like a lot to ask of her given how strongly she seems to need to nurse.

Very interested in others' experiences, and especially at what age (if ever) you began to introduce limits like these?

[physmom]

We're also working towards this. Um, my only suggestion (and i'll probably be looking to see what others say!) is what about bringing along a favorite stuffed animal? It sounds like she might be nervous or overwhelmed in these environments and might be looking to reconnect with you or something familiar. We have a favorite stuffed monkey of DD's that goes everywhere. If she starts asking to nurse I try and get her to hug that first and many times that works.

[lifeguard]

Ds is not quite as persistent as your describing 90% of the time when we're in public so I generally don't find it too difficult. But I now always try to delay him until we get home & it's only if he is very persistent (unusual for him) or injured we will find a quiet place to nurse.

[crunchy_mommy]

My DS is only 14mos old but I've already started to introduce limits. It's not so much because I'm embarrassed or anything, just that DS is a lot like your DD and would nurse pretty much non-stop if I let him. For us "limits" means he can nurse once or twice (say twice during an hour-long church service or once during a half-hour story hour) and after that I offer him snacks or distractions. I also delay him ("when we get to ___ you can nurse") or whatever. It seems to work OK and even at home we're working on limiting him to 2 or 3 times an hour... The every-10-minutes thing just drains me & makes me feel frustrated & frankly, a bit resentful.

I want to CLW and I feel a bit that this is counter-CLW but at the same time I know if I don't impose some limits I'll have a hard time making it to 2yrs never mind CLW.

[indigosky]

Interestingly, I think DD's frequent nursing when we're out is a combination of boredom and access. When something interesting (to her) happens -- like instruments to play with come out in music class -- she pops off my breast and goes to play. I think she just thinks storytime is boring overall. And I'm sitting there on the floor, so there's easy access. At home, on days when we don't go anywhere, she often nurses just 4-5 time a day (mostly just before and after sleeping), because she's busy and happy.

Snacks could work well as a distraction in my experience, but they don't feel appropriate in these situations -- then all the kids would want them.

Limiting it to just one time per class is an interesting idea. I wonder if that just makes it more confusing than simply "we nurse at home."

[crunchy_mommy]

Yeah DS seems to nurse more when he's just bored too (or stressed/tired/whatever).

Originally Posted by indigosky

Snacks could work well as a distraction in my experience, but they don't feel appropriate in these situations -- then all the kids would want them.

Maybe an individual snack - granola bar or something? Or a sippy cup with water or a smoothie or something like that? I'm admittedly not a big fan of sippy cups but I think in this situation it might help. I just bought DS his first cup (we got the "safe sippy" ss straw cup) hoping that having it readily available in the evenings would help him enjoy time with Daddy more instead of clinging to me & asking to eat every minute (just got it yesterday so too soon to tell if it's helping!) Also lots of kids have bottles or cups or snacks (at least around here) and yeah, sometimes the other kids want them, but you can't NOT feed your kid for that reason KWIM? But I see your point too...

Originally Posted by indigosky

Limiting it to just one time per class is an interesting idea. I wonder if that just makes it more confusing than simply "we nurse at home."

Maybe, I don't think so though. I think it gives them that comfort without making it a constant thing. I don't know what your DD's personality is like, but my DS takes a little while to warm up in some situations, or gets overly excited, so nursing just once kind of helps him calm down etc. and then he's more happy to participate (or at least more readily distracted). Could you tell her before you go into the class that she will only be able to nurse once, but if she's still thirsty she can have a drink from her cup? Would she understand that? I guess I'd be hesitant to say "we only nurse at home" because it seems a little too strict & leaves less room for flexibility if exceptions arise, and I feel THAT would be more confusing to them.

[adamsfam07]

DD will be 2yrs in just a couple of weeks and I've just started telling her no when she asks to nurse in certain places in public. The first time was about a week ago we were in church and I told her not right now then gave her a cracker. It was kinda funny, she looked at me like What? What do you mean no? So she asked again just incase I wasn't understanding what it was she wanted. I told her again not right now so she settled with the cracker and seemed ok. I try to distract her when we are someplace I can't sit down with her and so far it seems to work unless it's naptime then she's pretty demanding.

[justKate]

Not sure if DD is old enough to count (14 mos), but we sort of "day weaned" and she almost never asks to nurse when we're out. I work, so she's used to bottles/sippys/food during the day, and she really only associates nursing with laying down and being sleepy. I think the "we nurse at home" strategy might be a good, easy to remember one. But of course you'll have to reward her patience as soon as you walk in the door....

For your sanity's sake, 28 mos is probably a reasonable time to work on the balance between your needs and her wants!

[PGTlatte]

I started this right around 1 yr with both of them. At that age I decided I no longer wanted to nurse them at restaurant tables or in crowded or hectic public places, and they were old enough to have an alternative drink. If I was out with them at a quieter, less crowded place and they were tired and needing a break, then I didn't mind NIP. But it just stopped working well in situations that were crowded or when it was difficult to juggle or maneuver around a big kid's head (they were both really large by that age). They both adapted to this change without any complaints.

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by laundrycrisis

But it just stopped working well in situations that were crowded or when it was difficult to juggle or maneuver around a big kid's head (they were both really large by that age). They both adapted to this change without any complaints.

Haha that's actually one of the problems we're starting to have (and DS is actually pretty small for his age!) Some places it's hard to get him into a good position to nurse because it's too crowded or the chairs are too small and it's a little awkward! I wonder how we'll manage a year from now when he's even bigger!!! I'd feel weird BF'ing with him standing in front of me to nurse when we're in public...

[lookatreestar]

Originally Posted by justKate

Not sure if DD is old enough to count (14 mos), but we sort of "day weaned" and she almost never asks to nurse when we're out. I work, so she's used to bottles/sippys/food during the day, and she really only associates nursing with laying down and being sleepy. I think the "we nurse at home" strategy might be a good, easy to remember one. But of course you'll have to reward her patience as soon as you walk in the door....

For your sanity's sake, 28 mos is probably a reasonable time to work on the balance between your needs and her wants!

ii think i accidentally did this since i havent really nursed my dd out and about since she was 18 months or so. i just always lay down and nap with my kids and we associate nursing with with relaxing and sleeping so they dont really ask during the day. i will offer my ds during the day and while we are out, but i am usually pushed away both my kids reeally dislike the cradle hold. we loooove side lying nursing

[justKate]

Originally Posted by lookatreestar

ii think i accidentally did this since i havent really nursed my dd out and about since she was 18 months or so. i just always lay down and nap with my kids and we associate nursing with with relaxing and sleeping so they dont really ask during the day. i will offer my ds during the day and while we are out, but i am usually pushed away both my kids reeally dislike the cradle hold. we loooove side lying nursing

Funny, us too. I think DD won't nurse during the day (unless she's hurt) because she's afraid it will put her to sleep, and then she might miss out on FUN. There is waaaay too much fun going on to spend your time nursing when you're not tired!