where do you get your patience from

[omelette]

when you're at the end of your rope?
I'm having such a hard time finding any extra patience these days. I have a big boy who's 4 tomorrow and a 6 month old who wakes me up 1-2 times every hour, all night long. I'm exhausted and I'm finding it hard to muster up any extra patience.
I'm hoping for some inspiration, suggestions...

[pbjmama]

I find my patience is the worst if I don't get enough sleep. Could you get some help so you can take a few hours off to nap, someone to take your older child for the day so you can do something you want to do?

[attached2ethan]

first of all, HUGS to you! i've been in your shoes when mine were younger and i am not a nice person when i don't sleep enough. i think that probably means i wasn't very nice for the first year and a half of DS 2's life!

what helped the most was timing my day so that when the baby napped, it was also nap or rest time for big brother. then i could lay down for a while and rest, and i did this every day. it really helped me get through the second half of the day- although some days it just didn't work out, but i definitely found that it was easier to follow the baby's lead and when he went down, the rest of us did too. if i slept WITH the baby, he would nap for a few hours also, whereas if i laid him down he would be up in 20 minutes. it did us all a world of good.

also, make sure your husband, friend, mom, or somebody is giving you some alone time often- even if it's just daddy taking the kids for a walk in the evenings- you need some time to look forward to doing the things that you need or want to do.

good luck, and remember- this too shall pass!

Jessica, mom of three
DS Age 7
DS Age 4.5
Baby Girl due soon!

[newbymom05]

When I saw the thread title, my first thought was "Big glass of wine" I don't have any other answers. I have the same age spread and no help other than DH, and I was pretty mean the first yr.

Definitely get as much sleep as you can, not easy, I know. It does get better. Not ideal, but my big boy definitely watched a lot of PBS Kids that first year. I started him in a very part-time Pre-K at 4.5 and that's helped me a lot, not just to give me a physical break, but also a mental break from having to think of ways to entertain him. Our playgroup has also helped tremendously. It gives me mama support and DS1 (and now DS2) friends and activities. I also bought him a lot of open ended toys during that time--Playmobile, Imaginext, costumes, Magnatiles--so he had things to do while I tended to his brother. Of course now I have the added stress of tons o' clutter!

Hugs, mama. All we can do is the best we can do.

[Autumn Breeze]

I had a similar age spread 4 and newborn, they're 8 and 4 now.

A lot of times I just had to leave the 4 yr old in a safe space, and walk away

[omelette]

Thanks for your input. It's nice to hear sometimes that others have had the same issues. I think I need to stop being so hard on myself and realise it's ok to be a bit of a grump sometimes. We've started ds going to his old caregiver every other Friday and today I had the day just me and babe. I know I should have napped but it was nice just to have a quiet day where I didn't have to talk.

[meemee]

awww mama i was coming here to post that sometimes u DONT have the patience.

and thats ok.

u do the best that u can.

i cannot nap during the day - no matter what. just laying down or stretching out and reading was restfull and relaxing enough.

yup. dont be too hard on urself.

u have already done the best thing by taking a break.