sleeping with two -- please share!

[desamom]

I have a 2 year old daughter and am expecting baby #2 in October. My DD sleeps with me and my husband sleeps in another room during the week because he gets up early for work and with us on the weekends. It's been working out great for everyone. I keep feeling like I *should* or *have to* move DD into her own bed before the baby comes, but then I keep asking myself why!

My question for those with two+ kids, what did you do when the second came along? Did you sleep with both (one on either side to be safe of course)? Did you transition DD#1 to her own bed?

Would love to hear what others have done in this situation and if you did co-sleep with two, how did you make it work/did it work?

Thanks!

[mamadaan]

A bit of everything

It is polite of your DH to sleep in another room so that he does not disturb you when he gets up!

We did a bit of everything. We bought DS1 a full size bed and put it up in our room. He slept in it sometimes. When he slept in it, he usually slept quite badly. When DS2 was born he slept on one side of me. DS1 used to come in and sleep between me and DH. We eventually put DS1's bed next to ours. First he slept next to DH and then next to me. At that point I felt happy putting DS2 between me and DH. I think this was in the second half of the first year.

[To-Fu]

We're looking at the same situation, only I'm due at the end of May, yikes!

I am most worried about my overly gymnastic toddler accidentally squashing the baby, but hopefully my body will be enough of a barrier between them.

My partner was sleeping in another room so his alarm didn't disturb us, but we've been having him back in the room lately in preparation for the baby's arrival. I hope we can all sleep through each other's night noises and that our line-up will work out (little baby between me and the bumper, toddler in the middle, partner on the other side).

Looking forward to reading other responses!

[OkiMom]

We ended up co-sleeping until DD2 turned one then there wasn't enough room in the bed for DH, DD1, DD2 and myself. So, DD1 got her own bed. For a period of time we did put a twin mattress up beside our queen mattress so she could sleep with us but it ended up being DH that got pushed off to the twin and he didn't appreciate it. Since he is so supportive of my parenting style and follows my led I thought I really needed to give in to him on this one, its important to him to have the cuddle time with his wife every night.

Since your husband sleeps in another room anyway then I would sleep with one child on each side. Honestly, my daughters slept next to each other and I never had the problem of my oldest trying to squish my youngest. I did get some picture perfect moments where my oldest would realize the baby was getting fussy and try to cuddle her back to sleep. It was adorable.

[Hokulele]

We did a lot of musical beds!

At first, DD1 was in bed with us when the baby was born. We slept in this order (king sized bed):

bedrail
DD1
DH
me
baby
bedrail

That way I could switch sides as I nursed during the night and the baby was either next to the bed rail or next to DH, never next to her sister.

That would have worked out great BUT the baby woke a lot and when she was a newborn that involved a lot of loud stuff - crying, fussing, changing dipes, burping etc etc. Our older daughter would appear to sleep through most of it. But it became clear she was just not getting the quality sleep she needed. So we switched so that DH slept with her in a queen sized bed in her room while the baby slept with me in the king bed.

We did a lot of other scenarios, but that's the one that happened the most.

Once she stopped waking loudly in the night (she still wakes, just there isn't a lot of crying, just wake-nurse-sleep, so it isn't disturbing anyone) I stopped worrying about it having influence on how our older daugther slept. So we're fine if all four of us sleep together. Now the baby is almost two. And now, just in recent months, I don't worry about them sleeping next to each other in the bed, because the baby is old enough and big enough not to be crushed by her sister. BUT they tend to wake each other because they are so excited to be next to each other... not good for my sleep!

Most of the time, DD1 sleeps in her own bed, in her own room now. She's 4.5 yrs old now. She can see into our room from her bed so she's not far away. She wouldn't say this, but I think she prefers to sleep there because she gets uninterrupted sleep. She often ends up in our bed at some point in the night, and that is fine too.

The hard part for us now (with a 1.5yo and a 4.5yo) is that they both suction cup themselves to me, one on each side. So DH has 1/2 the bed to himself and I can barely move because both girls have me pinned down. But other than *my* sleep, everyone is doing fine in one bed.

[desamom]

Thanks for the replies, everyone. I look forward to more if they're out there!

I think I'm probably just going to play it by ear. DD1 doesn't have her own room right now, but we have to switch everything around for baby #2, so I will get her a bed in her own room and she can choose where she wants to sleep. She recently started asking to nap in her crib with no pushing from me, so who knows?

But I think trial and error will probably work best. I know lots of people have DD#1 sleep with daddy in another room and baby sleep with mommy (unless different family situation of course!). But if DD#1 is not ready to leave my bed, then I'd like her to be able to stay.