Financial slap in the face

[bdavis337]

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[sunfish21]

So sorry that you are in this situation. Mine was totally different but I ended up having to declare bankruptcy since my good credit was destroyed by my ex. It might be worth paying a small fee to see a financial planner, lawyer,..someone that knows more about the long term ramifications of decisions you might make. Maritial debt should be divided up in a divorce; in WI the fathers are often responsible for birth costs. He has responsibilities here, but the trick might be ensuring that all parties involve know that and agree on what they are.

Good luck--don't try to figure it all out on your own!

[Auntie Sapphire]

To get your credit reports, go to AnnualCreditReport.com. It is free and all three companies are reliable. I would suggest getting all three reports as sometimes they contain slightly different data.

[MissLotus]

I agree to see a professional, like a credit counseling type of place, to help you straighten it out. And even more importantly - do you already have a lawyer (I know - no money - but you can usually find one to do a free or cheap consultation!) for the divorce process? You need one ASAP! Don't try to untangle all of this alone.

"He thinks it's not necessary to address this in the separation agreement." Oh, I beg to differ with him. It is most necessary, and all separation/divorce agreements address financial aspects! It doesn't matter what is in his name; as a married couple, you will be entitled to about half of "his" assets, from things like the sale of the house (if you sell it), to a portion of his 401k. And if he makes more than you, he may be entitled to pay of some of your debt, as well as at least a portion of legal costs. Also yes, go ahead and ask that your child's health insurance be covered by him - or at least half of those costs - that's a very common agreement.

Get professional help with this, don't wait. I have a friend with kids who's going through a divorce but her stbx is still living in the house - and the charming man decided not to give her any grocery money or household expenses. She got a court order that stipulates he has to give her something even though he's right there and not even divorced yet. So don't let your ex tell you what's what!

[bdavis337]

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[Minxie]

Originally Posted by bdavis337

Thankfully we are renting so we don't have a house to sell.

But he will have a retirement plan of some sort; 401k, pension, etc. You are entitled to half of that BY LAW if you've been married over ten years.

You DEFINITELY need a professional who can tell you the state laws WRT finances and whatnot. He's screwed you pretty badly and you need to ask for everything to which you are legally entitled. DO NOT NEGOTIATE with him, as he has already proven that he is untrustworthy. Document everything and address it in court, or in mediation if you have to do that first, so that it is on record. Then hope the court will take that into consideration before reaching a settlement between you two.

[Super~Single~Mama]

That credit care of yours that you used to pay off one of HIS credit cards?? Get the transaction records on that - it will show that the debt on that card is really his.

Get all the records you can of EVERYTHING - transaction records, payment records, document all the conversations that you've had with him (exact dates are great but not entirely necessary).

Good luck!

[EFmom]

Originally Posted by Auntie Sapphire

To get your credit reports, go to AnnualCreditReport.com. It is free and all three companies are reliable. I would suggest getting all three reports as sometimes they contain slightly different data.

Do use this site. There are other sites out there that claim to deliver free credit reports, but they charge.

[Labbemama]

I would recommend going and talking to the folks at consumer credit counseling bureau, a non profit agency, that helps people come up with a plan to reduce their debts.

I'm actually in a better position that I thought I was after talking to them and it wouldn't take as long to get out of the hole I'm in as I thought.

There are 3 major credit bureaus, equifax, transunion, and I forget the otherone, but you contact them and get your credit report and his and start figuring out how to fairly divide the debts as a part of the divorce.