4 Year Old Talking Incessantly...how can mom cope?!

[attached2ethan]

I know this is a silly, trivial post- I should be so fortunate to have a gorgeous, intelligent, bright, funny 4 year old with a great imagination, but honestly- the incessant babble is driving me loopy.

My older DS is the quiet type, thinks to himself a lot and doesn't ramble on and on. 4yo DS, however, is completely the opposite and just talks and talks all day long, so much that by 9am I am brain fried. I feel like I can't think about anything, can't talk on the phone, or check my e-mail, or do anything that requires my brain because he's not just babbling, he really wants me to engage and is asking a thousand questions and expecting me to be coherent 100% of the time, LOL!

I love him, I really do- I just was wondering what other moms do? I'd like to be able to turn the radio on in the car and listen to a song every now and then without "mommy! mommy! MOMMY!".

Jessica, mom of three
DS (age 7)
DS (age 4)
Baby Girl due soon!

[rachelsmama]

Dd is the talker in my house. There are a lot of days when I just have to send her to a different room to read or something.

[lonegirl]

You just described my son (3y5m) to a T!! LOL there are days I tell hubby that I am going grocery shopping....by myself....I have to get out for a couple hours just to focus my mind.

[wookie]

yep, we're here in the boat too

i don't have any advice except i sometimes just tell him honestly that he needs to be quiet for a few minutes because mama can't THINK! sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but i've learnt to tune him out if it isn't urgent

[LaughingHyena]

That's me, I feel like I have had enough of the chatter before I've even finished my breakfast.

DD (5 1/2) is easier to tune out, she seems to need to provide a running commentry of what she is doing but doesn't need me to response as much.

DS (3) is very much in the why stage, endless rounds of what day is is today, where do carrots come from. He has to question everything and he wants answers.

I'd love to here suggestiongs for getting some quiet, for now the couple of hours a week when they are both at school & preschool are bliss.

[hakeber]

DS went through that phase, he still has his days.

I found it helpful to let him know that I need some quiet time, BEFORE he drives me nuts and I shout "OH MY GOD PLEASE SHUT UP!", and also to remind him that I am not a very good back channeler, that sometimes I am just listening and he needn't repeat things five hundred times. I AM listening.

His father takes a different route and out talks him, so that HE is the one begging for a little quiet time. It is quite amusing to hear them trying to out talk eachother and I about wet my pants the first time DS said to DH; "Daddy, don't you know it's rude to interrupt people?!"

ETA: Dh is a big talker too, he can talk for up to 30 minutes straight with almost no interruption or back chanelling required. I figure it is part of who ds is likely going to be, even later in life. when I really lose my mind is when they are both home from their days out and I get ds on the right and dh on the left and they are both going a mile a minute about their days and life and jellyfish and poltics until I am and I snap shouting: SHUT UUUUUP! OH MY GOD SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UUUUUUP!

[Jennifer1208]

My stepson did that for years. Now he's 15 and hardly speaks. I wish we had recorded him a few times talking, and talking, and talking, and talking, about everything... They won't do it forever. :-)

[mazajo]

My 4yo DS is the exact same way. So is DH so I guess it's inherited! DS asks questions all. day. long. and a lot of it is stuff that I can't possibly answer anyway. Lately he's concerned about fires: How could a house catch on fire, what would we do- those are good questions but we discuss it multiple times daily, then he goes on to ask Which room would the fire start in? How many firemen will come? What will their names be? Sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or scream!

Having him gone to preschool four days a week really helps. Also, I have no problem telling him mommy needs some quiet time- doesn't always work but sometimes it does! And just keeping things in perspective... I know that being a chatterbox is just part of his personality, but he's growing and changing and he will not always be the way he is right now- and some day I'm really going to miss the way he is right now!

[Autumn Breeze]

this is just...kids....

With my kids I just have to be very honest with them. Nothing else has worked. "Ds, I love that you want to talk to me, and I want to hear what you have to say but you have been talking all day long. My ears need a break. If you want to keep talking lets go set up your animals so they can listen to you for a few minutes"

Or something like that. Now I say that to Dd, and ds is older so I can ask him "Can you give me 5 or 10 minutes, you two have been chattering all day long, my ears really need the break, ok?"

[Cujobunny]

Ugh, I'm in the same boat too! My 5 yr old doesn't stop talking, singing, chattering EVER. Even in his sleep Sometimes I do have to tell him PLEASE- I can't hear your sister/father/person on the phone/myself think!!! And he's LOUD too, I don't know where he gets it because I'm a quiet person who thrives on solitude. I blame my SIL

[journeymom]

Originally Posted by attached2ethan

I know this is a silly, trivial post-

Not silly or trivial at all! It's a big part of your day.

Yes, both my kids were like that, and my almost 11 y.o. ds is STILL like that. He's only recently slowed down a bit. And he's LOUD, too! He's not a subtle kid, generally.

I tune it out. Lots of 'Umhm. Yeah. Huh. Really?" Some times that comes back to bite me, when I miss something important. Oh well! I've gotten better at picking up the change in his voice when he's talking about something that concerns me particularly.

Periodically I DO make a concerted effort to listen to him carefully while he explains why this particular Pokemon is cool, or what his best friend said at school or whatever.

Actually, the daughter, fifteen years old, kinda clammed up for a few years but recently started chattering again, telling me all the ins and outs between her friends and so on. I'm very glad that my teenager likes talking to me!

[attached2ethan]

Good to know I'm not alone, by a long shot I do enjoy the things he has to say to me, he is such a cool kid and I absolutely KNOW I will miss this stage when it's over (although, he's been chattering like this since he was an infant, so I don't see it slowing down anytime soon!). Some days my brain just needs quiet. I am a chatterbox too, but only in bursts- I also find that I need down time during the day where I am not talking and nobody is talking to me!! I'm an only child and I think my need for space and solitude is greater because I was never surrounded by chaos in my entire life until I had two children. But then again, if my life were quiet again, I would miss the chaos dearly. I call this "grass is greener" syndrome!!!

I do try to tell him that mommy needs a quiet break where we don't talk, and I give him some ideas of things he can do instead, and sometimes it works- sometimes not! I do agree that it's better to explain and divert them before you get to the SHUT UP stage- I always feel guilty after that!!.

Does anyone have ideas I can share with my older DS regarding this too? He is 7 and since he is the quiet type a lot of the time, he gets annoyed by it too and covers his ears, which really upsets the 4yo- who waits all day for his big brother to come home and can't wait to talk his ear off, but my 7yo needs down time from his day and cannot process all the chaos the second he walks out of school.

[just_lily]

Some of these conversations sound really interesting compared to what I usually hear about all day long! I could work with questions about firemen. I am peppered with non-stop statements.

I have a nearly 4yo boy in my home daycare that does not stop talking. His mom is chatty, and his older sister talked my ear off when I had her last summer, so he comes by it honestly. But all conversations have this specific pattern:

L: just_lily?
Me: yes L?
L: I have Cheerios at my house.
Me: Oh, that's great.
L: just_lily?
Me: yes L?
L: I am wearing my Diego socks today.
Me: Awesome.
L: just_lily?
Me: uh huh?
L: My mom bought me these socks.
Me: That was very nice of her.
L: just_lily?
Me: Yes L
L: blah blah blah blah blah.....

He has to say my name first, before every single sentence. If I try to tune him out he just repeats.... just_lily? just_lily? juuussttt_lillyyy? JUST_LILY??? even if I am right in front of him and looking right at him I have to say 'yes?'. And then if I don't acknowledge what he has said, he will keep repeating that too. "I have Cheerios at my house. I have Cheerios at my house. I have Cheerios at my house."

He is a sweet boy and has been in my daycare longer than any of my other kids (not including my own of course) so he holds a soft spot in my heart, but he gets here at 8am and most days I am ready to lock myself in the bathroom by 8:15. But he even talks to me through the bathroom door so it doesn't help!!!

I am working on getting him to recognize when I am not in a position to listen to him, and to wait until I am ready. So hopefully one day I will be able to deal with two screaming toddlers squabling over a toy without a 4yo yelling "just_lily?? just_lily?? just_lily??" over top in order to tell me he is wearing a Spiderman shirt for the 37th time that day.

[hakeber]

Originally Posted by just_lily

Some of these conversations sound really interesting compared to what I usually hear about all day long! I could work with questions about firemen. I am peppered with non-stop statements.

I have a nearly 4yo boy in my home daycare that does not stop talking. His mom is chatty, and his older sister talked my ear off when I had her last summer, so he comes by it honestly. But all conversations have this specific pattern:

L: just_lily?
Me: yes L?
L: I have Cheerios at my house.
Me: Oh, that's great.
L: just_lily?
Me: yes L?
L: I am wearing my Diego socks today.
Me: Awesome.
L: just_lily?
Me: uh huh?
L: My mom bought me these socks.
Me: That was very nice of her.
L: just_lily?
Me: Yes L
L: blah blah blah blah blah.....

He has to say my name first, before every single sentence. If I try to tune him out he just repeats.... just_lily? just_lily? juuussttt_lillyyy? JUST_LILY??? even if I am right in front of him and looking right at him I have to say 'yes?'. And then if I don't acknowledge what he has said, he will keep repeating that too. "I have Cheerios at my house. I have Cheerios at my house. I have Cheerios at my house."

He is a sweet boy and has been in my daycare longer than any of my other kids (not including my own of course) so he holds a soft spot in my heart, but he gets here at 8am and most days I am ready to lock myself in the bathroom by 8:15. But he even talks to me through the bathroom door so it doesn't help!!!

I am working on getting him to recognize when I am not in a position to listen to him, and to wait until I am ready. So hopefully one day I will be able to deal with two screaming toddlers squabling over a toy without a 4yo yelling "just_lily?? just_lily?? just_lily??" over top in order to tell me he is wearing a Spiderman shirt for the 37th time that day.

If I didn't know better I would think my son went for day care at your house! OH MY LORD that is funny!

[deditus]

Ear plugs. Seriously, especially first thing in the morning. I love dd's singing, but not before I've had my first cup of coffee.

[InchByInch]

Originally Posted by just_lily

Some of these conversations sound really interesting compared to what I usually hear about all day long! I could work with questions about firemen. I am peppered with non-stop statements.

I have a nearly 4yo boy in my home daycare that does not stop talking. His mom is chatty, and his older sister talked my ear off when I had her last summer, so he comes by it honestly. But all conversations have this specific pattern:

L: just_lily?
Me: yes L?
L: I have Cheerios at my house.
Me: Oh, that's great.
L: just_lily?
Me: yes L?
L: I am wearing my Diego socks today.
Me: Awesome.
L: just_lily?
Me: uh huh?
L: My mom bought me these socks.
Me: That was very nice of her.
L: just_lily?
Me: Yes L
L: blah blah blah blah blah.....

He has to say my name first, before every single sentence. If I try to tune him out he just repeats.... just_lily? just_lily? juuussttt_lillyyy? JUST_LILY??? even if I am right in front of him and looking right at him I have to say 'yes?'. And then if I don't acknowledge what he has said, he will keep repeating that too. "I have Cheerios at my house. I have Cheerios at my house. I have Cheerios at my house."

He is a sweet boy and has been in my daycare longer than any of my other kids (not including my own of course) so he holds a soft spot in my heart, but he gets here at 8am and most days I am ready to lock myself in the bathroom by 8:15. But he even talks to me through the bathroom door so it doesn't help!!!

I am working on getting him to recognize when I am not in a position to listen to him, and to wait until I am ready. So hopefully one day I will be able to deal with two screaming toddlers squabling over a toy without a 4yo yelling "just_lily?? just_lily?? just_lily??" over top in order to tell me he is wearing a Spiderman shirt for the 37th time that day.

[sanguine_speed]

[ecoteat]

DD talks all day, too. Lately she has been saying, "excuse me?" when she's interrupting because somehow she's picked up that it's a bit more polite than just butting in. But that's only true if you then wait for your audience to be ready to listen! But she doesn't do that yet--she just keeps repeating "excuse me? excuse me!?!? ex CUUUUUSE me!!!! EXCUSE MEEEEE!!!!"