Pregnant after a loss support thread

[annettemarie]

I thought we could have a thread for the mamas who are pregnant after loss.

We lost our very first baby (started bleeding at 13 weeks but the baby had stopped growing around 7 weeks) and then went on to have 4 kids- Michael (11), Katie Grace (8), Nicholas (6), and Daniel (2). Then this summer we lost a baby at the end of July. It was the same as the first time, I started bleeding at 13 weeks but the baby had stopped growing around 7. We got pregnant again right away, and I lost that baby as well, right around 7 weeks. Blessedly, they caught it right away because they were monitoring things really closely.

Now I'm pregnant again. I'm 5 weeks, 6 days today. My HCG and progesterone levels are great so far and I have an ultrasound on Monday and am praying to see a little heartbeat.

Today, I'm feeling very tired, negative, and just generally down though. Not very hopeful at all.

[NoraFlood]

Oh, I soooo need this thread. I've had two losses. My first was a very early miscarriage last February. Then I lost my daughter Basia at 19 weeks this past November. She had trisomy 18 and severe hydrops.

I am finding it really hard to be positive, especially since I don't have any living kids yet and I don't know for sure whether it's possible for me. I actually haven't scheduled an appointment yet--too scared (although I'm only 5 weeks, so there's no big rush I guess).

to everyone who's here after a loss. It's nice to have someplace to let it all out!

[FarmerCathy]

I lost our first (my second) in January at 10 1/2 weeks. I'm thinking it might have had something to do with totaling my truck when I was 6 weeks pregnant. I rolled onto one side and then onto the other not fully flipping because I had a trailer attached to my truck, though the hitch was sheered off and one tire was ripped off and two others were flat. After I saw what was happening my body took over and I blanked out. I could hear everything, but I couldn't see anything. DH is still gun shy about it and isn't telling anyone, but I've told a few close family members and friends. I'm feeling pretty positive about this pregnancy. I have so many symptoms already at 4 wks.

mamas. I'm praying we all make it to term.

[kittywitty]

Due date crash here. I just want to give you a big and

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by NoraFlood

Oh, I soooo need this thread.

I'm so sorry that you (or any of us!) need the thread, but I'm glad we can have it.

I'm so sorry for your losses. I hear you on finding it difficult to be positive. It's hard, because I think there's always a part inside us that hopes, but there's also a part that wants to protect ourselves as well.

Originally Posted by FarmerCathy

I'm feeling pretty positive about this pregnancy. I have so many symptoms already at 4 wks.

mamas. I'm praying we all make it to term.

I'm sorry for your loss. The symptoms keep me positive as well. Already, I'm so much more sick and tired than the last two times!

Originally Posted by kittywitty

Due date crash here. I just want to give you a big and

and thank you!

[tinynyota]

Thanks for the thread, Annette! I'm almost 7 weeks, and I haven't even officially joined this DDC. After 3 losses between 6 and 9 weeks, I'm just too scared. I have an u/s on Monday, so things should be pretty clear by then, one way or the other. Yikes!! the not-knowing is torture.

Originally Posted by NoraFlood

I am finding it really hard to be positive, especially since I don't have any living kids yet and I don't know for sure whether it's possible for me.

Me too.

Huge hugs and sticky vibes to all!!

[sarahn4639]

I'm here. We had a loss at about 7 weeks Dec/Jan. I'm pretty surprised by this pregnancy. I've had 1 period after the loss and was having a long atypical cycle. I had tested a couple of times just because I wasn't having a period, but haven't felt pregnangt at all. I tested negative on CD 35 and CD 48 and then postive on CD 64. I was shocked, I took 3 tests, 2 differnt brands and all positive. I'm guessing that I must have ovulated around CD 48 and am about 4.5 weeks. I am feeling very protective of this information and not wanting to make any announcements for several weeks, atleast until week 10 for family and 12-14 for others. At the same time, I do want to tell people because I want some support if I have another loss. I wanted to talk to people about my miscarriage, it felt honoring to acknowledge it and healing to talk it out. At the same time, I don't want to have to make some loss announcement. I don't know, I'm feeling really confused. It doesn't help that I'm not having any pregnancy symptoms, hopefully within in a week or 2 they will kick in and I'll feel a little better, I didn't have any symptoms with my loss, but have with both of my living children's pregnancies.

I'm sad that it seems like there may be a lot of us as I read through the roll call.

[showurhorns]

After 6 (that's right 6) "unexplained miscarriages" we concieved our 17 month old dd. I was a wreck the WHOLE pregnancy. With dd I went to a new OB ( left my fertility clinic....I explain in a mintue) and he was fanstastic keeping me positive and refusing to give up. Surround yourselves w/positive spiritual people! That leads to why I left fertility clinic
First of all they kept telling me that my miscarriages (4 out of the 6 between 11-and 13wks) were just a fluke and they could not find a cause. Only 1 had a chromonosal issue. Pushed me to do IVF and I refused stating conception was not the issue!! Once I refused I basically got the cold shoulder and no compassion for my losses.
So when I concieved my dd I desprately looked for an OB that would see me immediately. My OB isn't a high risk OB, but w/ his compassion he reached out to his colleagues for advice. Amazing man!! So this time around OB is being proactive but encouraging me that I did in '08 I can do it in '10.


So ladies think positive and find positive people. It is vey scary when you have experienced such a loss. I myself still have reservations, but I can't let the fear take over. No matter who you tell or when you make an appt, it doesn't change the outcome. We got were we were not telling anyone because it always ended poorly. My advice is to tell at least one friend/realitive that is your support system. Dh are great but they do not fully understand and they have their own fears( if they are like dh don't want to burden you w/ theirs). You need that one person you can call before a lab result or u/s that can hear your fears and acknowlege them but still can be your cheerleader.


Sticky vibes to all!! STAY POSITIVE!

[oakparkveggie]

Wow, so many mamas here with multiple losses Positive thoughts for us all this time!!

I was diagnosed with PCOS about 10 years ago after TTC for years and never ovulating. I found a wonderful RE and conceived both my boys with the help of Clomid (DS1) and then Metformin (DS2). I really felt like we were done after that b/c the stress over TTC was too much and I already had 2 babies, so we figured my PCOS would take care of birth control

Then, last year I had a wonderful surprise pregnancy! I waited a while to get in to see a m/w and found out that my progesterone was low. I started suppositories then at 6w, and felt fine. She referred me to the RE that is in her office and by the time I saw her at 10.5 w, the u/s showed no bloodflow and that the embryo had stopped developing at 6.5 weeks. Once I stopped taking the progesterone, I had the actual m/c.

So, anyway- another huge surprise this month. But this time I got in to the RE right away and got on progesterone on DC31, so I am hoping and praying that this one sticks! I'll be 42 next month, so this is it for me.

[quantumleap]

I'm here too. We had a 1st trimester loss waaaaaay back in Feb of 2006. We strongly suspect chromosomal or other abnormalities because dp only makes about 5 sperm in a go, and they all seem to have three heads or no tails, or the inability to swim forward.
After fighting through infertility we finally had a healthy, term (beautiful!) dd in Dec of 2008. I know that, since I've had a perfectly healthy pregnancy since our loss, that I should be a little more relaxed! Maybe it's the years of IF testing and treatment, maybe it's just my personality, but I'm fighting a losing battle to stay positive and hopeful with this pregnancy.
Last time, I thought I would relax after 12 weeks, and maybe I did a little, but I still held my breath until viability, and then again until she was born safely. With this little person, I really, really want to just enjoy the miracle that is his/her existence, but it's hard, hey?
Here's to hoping we can all just love these little beans in the now, and that they will safely arrive when they are perfectly baked, in December!

[BarefootGirl]

I lost one (our first) at just barely 5 weeks Thanksgiving weekend. It was terrible. We don't know the cause, possibly low progesterone, but could've been anything that early. We'd been trying on Clomid for awhile. After waiting through the end of the mc cycle, I got back on Clomid (increased dose) and 3 cycles later here I am 7 weeks pregnant. I am still scared. I really haven't had many symptoms... I was really hungry the first week or so, and have been getting tired earlier in the evening, and my boobs are ALWAYS sore. I've also had a few afternoon headaches lately, not sure if that's preg related. But NO morning sickness. As much as I hate to be sick, I am worried that I'm not.

I had 2 betas at 11 and 16 DPO, which looked great, but none since then. I had an ultrasound a week ago and saw the gestational sac, but it was too soon to see anything in there....currently my biggest fear (besides seeing red when I wipe) is going to the next ultrasound and having them tell me there's nothing in the sac.

[ameliasward]

Thank you for starting this thread. It's so nice to know I'm not alone. I have had 4 m/c (2 at 8 weeks, and 2 at 11 weeks) and 2 healthy children. Honestly it is difficult to get too excited about this pregnancy when I've been let down so many times before. I'll be sending positive sticky vibes to our little December babes.

[Wildecat]

Just stopping by to give and

[turnquia]

I am here my first cycle after a MC. (7weeks) I'm quite nervous this time. Normally I'm fairly laid back, but this time I'm a mess. I've had 3 betas done and they look great and will end up having an early ultrasound around 6-7 weeks to see if we can see a HB.

Sending out sticky vibes for everyone!

[pixiekisses]

Thanks for this thread AM, I really need it.
I'll be a nervous wreck through this whole pregnancy.
I lost a child, in -00, she was almost 6 weeks old.
And then I had a miscarriage now on september 4th.
And I was supposed to be about 7.5 weeks pregnant on april 1st, when I started bleeding. My bHCG was too low for 7.5 weeks, but it doubbled nicely, so I'm pregnant allright. But the first time was probably an egg that barely touched my uterus but didn't stick, and then I got pregnant again right after that and now I'm 5+5 weeks today. If all our guess work and calculations are correct.
I have an offer about a U/S anytime I want. And all the other check-ups I might want or whatever. So that's a safe thing at least.

We also have a seriously sick child, our little miss, that we don't know how long we get to keep. So that really adds on the anxiety for me.

I really hear you guys on the hard to be positive sometimes. I loose hope all the time, and then I have it again, and then it's gone. Very up and down.
I haven't officially joined the DDC yet.

Peace and love to all you mamas who have loss/losses, I hope every little bean sticks now, and we can be a good support for each other until december and babies come along. (Still a weird thought.)

[beryhappy]

Thanks!

Thanks so much for starting this thread! I had a blighted ovum loss at 8 weeks that was conceived almost 8 weeks to the day that I conceive my current baby and another loss 2 months ago at 5 weeks. I HATE that losing babies makes me on edge and not just happy like everyone that hasn't had a loss gets to be when they get a BFP. I just try to remember how much of a blessing it is to be pregnant a 3rd time and that there is still lots of hope for this pregnancy. My first ultrasound is April 26th (6 weeks), so I'm hoping we see something positive!

[tinynyota]

Oh boy. For weeks now I've been scheduled to have a viability u/s on Monday (I'll be 7w3d, I think). The office called today to try to reschedule me for Wednesday instead, and I practically bit the poor woman's head off! I'm a hormonal, freaked-out lady with a nasty history of early losses - C'mon, do you really wanna mess with me on this!
Sigh. This is so hard.

[lindsey8]

I'm gonna join you all! Had a m/c in February (missed miscarriage and a D&C) so this was my 2nd post-m/c cycle. I sort of figured we could do it on the first try again, and there you go

I'm so excited but it's bittersweet, you know? I mean, I should be nearly halfway done. And now I'm starting all over with morning sickness and sore nipples and mood swings and the tiredness!

I'm really nervous, too, like I"m just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Not exactly how I'd like to feel after just testing, you know? I hope it gets better after we get a heartbeat.

[tinynyota]

I got to see a heartbeat today! I'm 7w3d and measuring 7w2d, 144bpm.
I've never ever had a 'normal' ultrasound, so for me this is big news!
(and I'm officially de-lurking )

[annettemarie]

Oh my gosh, Becca, that's fabulous news!!