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Pregnant after a loss support thread - Page 6

post #101 of 106
I think we all have those moments, Annette. Sometimes when you have a deep fear, it will manifest itself in a dream. I've had a couple of those this pregnancy. Now with poor Cathy leaving us, I feel more scared than ever. I know I shouldn't...I have nothing going on that should frighten me...no spotting, no cramping, my uterus seems to be growing nicely. I saw the heartbeat about a month ago, and I'm really looking forward to hearing it again in a week. I'm just scared that something is going to go wrong. Is NOTHING safe after you've had a miscarriage? I wish I could go back to that blissful state of unawares that comes with pregnancies before loss.

Multimomma ~ how are you doing?
post #102 of 106
Sorry AM, those dreams can break your spirit.

Thanks for the thoughts. I'm not as crampy today, but still some cramping. Nothing else, it's just that knowing this is how the others started, is hard. We heard the heartbeat on the 18th. I keep telling myself that you can't ruin this pregnancy with fear, but you know how that goes. Nathan's pregnancy was fraught with it, but I think the progesterone made me too sleepy to act on it. I want to talk to my careprovider about doing it again, every time I'd go off of it last time, I'd start to contract.

My fear is that I'll use it, the baby will pass, and then I won't go into labor naturally. I'll call her tomorrow.
post #103 of 106
AM, I'm so sorry, I had the same dream last night. It was horrible. I woke up almost crying because my doc had said there was nothing on the U/S, I wasn't pregnant, nothing inside of me. And I freaked out.
Awful feeling. I wish I could check my baby, I have an Angelsound doppler on the way in the mail, but I'm only 8+2, so I'm guessing I couldn't used it yet anyway. I'm guessing it's nerves before my next U/S on thursday, I only talked to my doc yesterday and he said he wanted me in before the holidays.
s to you AM.

(And yeah, I know I don't belong in here anymore, but I feel more at home here, and we don't really have this kinda thread in my new ddc. And I keep thinking about you guys and checking on you.)
post #104 of 106
Thread Starter 
(((pixie))) You're certainly welcome here any time. And maybe you could be the one to start the thread in your DDC. I bet you're not the only mama in these circumstances.

I have my appointment tomorrow. I'm nervous. I hate this whole "hospital birth after home birth" thing. I never felt like my midwife was going to yell at me, but I'm afraid the doc is going to give me grief for gaining too much weight. I've gained about 13 pounds so far! The good news is I'm 17 weeks, so I get to have the big ultrasound soon and I can't wait to find out what I am having.
post #105 of 106
AM, I've gained 15 lbs, and I'm a bit worried. lol! It's historically been my psychological barrier, I became overweight after losing my first, and at that point, as long as I was gaining weight, i could ignore that I wasn't pregnant anymore.

I've struggled with weight since then. I managed to lose quite a bit, and then got pregnant again, but that's okay. I'm just trying to keep the gain down, since I'm already overweight.
post #106 of 106
I'll join in this thread too. I'm sorry to hear of all your losses. Life is so fragile.

I lost my firstborn daughter at 2.5 months old to SIDS. I've had 4 more babies since then but I'm still terrified in the newborn stages, it never gets easier in that regard. I love newborn babies, but I end up finding myself wishing it away so they'll be bigger and stronger, but I want to just savor it. It's hard.

I also had a miscarriage in 2003, at about 10 weeks along, though the baby probably died at 6-7 weeks.

So I am constantly checking tp and freaking out.

I've been crampy today, which might be a UTI coming on. I had trace protein in my urine at last check. Anyway the cramping is sure making me feel uneasy today. I keep trying to reassure myself...but it's hard.
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