Toddlers and biting

[Halfasianmomma]

DD (21 months) came back from daycare yesterday and when she came out of her bath, I saw clear as day a red bite mark, with tiny teeth impressions, on her left forearm. It was done at an angle that she couldn't have done herself.

Lately, I've also noticed that when she gets extremely playful or sometimes very discontent (i.e. from nursing limitations, from being scolded, or just from being cranky), she's bite me. This wasn't her habit before.

I'm wondering if she picked this up at daycare since she's obviously been bitten hard enough to leave marks.

Is bitting a common thing at this age? What can be done to discourage it?

[lyra2007]

Yes, it's common. My daughter is not a biter, but she has been bitten three times in daycare. I am really surprised that you weren't told. At our DC they fill out a form and you have to sign it, to establish that you were informed.

Anyway, I am not sure what you can do to discourage it--it often happens to quickly to prevent. But afterwards you can say, "No! We don't bite." It usually happens because the child is frustrated or not getting his way--which is why this usually clears up when they are old enough to express themselves with words. Usually the biter is as freaked out as the victim...they need to be told it's wrong, but they also need to be assured that they are still loved.

[daniturtle]

Yes, it's pretty common! Biting, as the PP said, is a way of expressing their frustration or other overwhelming emotion. In any case, your daycare should have told you about this particular incident. I'd mention it to them as soon as possible.

My daughter (18 months) bites - but only me or her dad, when she is frustrated or angry that we won't let her do something. We try to anticipate it and hold her away from us and verbalize what she is feeling. And if she does manage to bite us we say "ouch! Biting hurts...teeth are not for biting..." etc. We also have the book "Teeth Are Not For Biting" which I think helps. Lately it's been better. But she's not currently actively teething and when she is teething she is *much* more likely to bite, which is also fairly common in toddlers - the biting cos their mouth hurts thing.

Good luck!

[4Marmalade]

I agree it's pretty common. My youngest dd is a biter and her poor twin brother gets the brunt of it. We just really need to keep on top of it and if she starts getting even the slightest bit frustrated or angry we need to be there to talk her through it so she doesn't bite. She's almost 22 months now and it's actually improved over the last couple of months.

[lifeguard]

It's pretty common in the toddler years.

But your daycare provider didn't tell you she'd been bitten?

[curiouscanadian]

My DS isn't a biter - although that's pretty common with toddlers - but he is a pusher and the advice I've come across is pretty much the same for both: Talk to them about it, but otherwise watch them like a hawk (to avoid injuries to others), and wait for them to outgrow it.

I too am concerned your DCP didn't mention it, but maybe they didn't see it? I'd mention it to them, and ask them if one of the other kids is biting or if they can keep an eye out for biting.

Slightly OT, but when my DS started pushing a younger child at his babysitter's the younger child ended up biting him in frustration a couple of times. The other child's mom was just as mortified her daughter was biting as we were that our son was pushing. (Not trying to say your child is instigating anything, just sharing a truly ironic situation.) Unfortunatly all the babysitter can do is keep up the dialogue and make sure she's RIGHT THERE whenever they're interacting.

But everyone is aware of the situation and what is being done about it. That's what I'd concentrate on in your situation.

[Halfasianmomma]

Well, I called the daycare director and informed her of the situation, as well as writing a note to DD's dcp in her agenda AND mentioning it to the secondary DCP when I dropped her off. No one knew she'd been bitten and by the time I mentioned it, the bite was mostly gone and all the was left was a little yellow bruise. Guess DD heals fast. The secondary DCP mentioned that there are 2 "repeat offense" bitters in DD's room and that they'll be very vigilant from now on. I guess it's hard to keep track of 14 kids with only 2 dcps in the room.

Thanks for the input mamas