Finding Community

[janinemh]

How and where can DH, DS and I find the strong, supportive community we long for?

[IntuitiveJamie]

I'm not totally understanding the question. Do you mean should you move? Or are you looking for a community within where you are at? Let me know more specifically on this thread. Thanks.

[janinemh]

Both, I guess. We have struggled ever since we married to find a sense of deep connection with a community. We moved back to my home town a year ago to be near family, get out of the city, and be more close to nature but have been even more isolated and stressed here--and have been at a loss of how to find kindred souls to connect to in this rural and more conservative area.

We have some friends who mostly live across the country who are kindred souls and with whom we have talked about living with/near at some point but no one has ever been ready to make the move to the other folk's geographical area. There have been some talk recently about some of them settling near where we are in the next 5-10 years...but I"m just not sure we can stand another 5-10 years of loneliness. So we really need to find some folks here to relate to or we need to make a leap and move to where our friends are even though we prefer this geographical location.

So I guess I"m asking if this place, where we feel a connection to the land (me in particular because its the place of my birth), will also be a place that we can find a human community that will nurture and enrich our lives or do we need to look elsewhere (with our friends or otherwise)

[IntuitiveJamie]

I got it now. Thanks for the clarification, that helps.

There is definitely a sense of loneliness surrounding your family. Isolation is the perfect word to describe the energy. I want to tell you that I get a sense that you don't fit in where you are at. I dont think it has to do with distance at all. I get the impression of two things:
1. You guys are not really putting yourselves out there for fear of not being accepted
2.You are likely not to be 100% accepted by the nearest folk

But the biggest thing I am sensing is that you are part of the problem. I just keep getting this sense that you are not really putting yourselves out there like you could be in order to make these friends. I feel like their is one family that also stands alone like you do that you could meet. However, overall I do not feel like their will be a "community" for you there. Maybe that one family, but not several.
I'm not sure why but I keep seeing mennonites. Are you one? Or is your community? I'm not very clear on why I am seeing that. Maybe that is part of the problem, you are they aren't or vice versa. Just putting it out there cuz I keep seeing it. Hopefully it makes sense to you.

Anyhow, I do not see you long term in that area due to this unhappiness from loneliness. I think you should consider moving on.

[janinemh]

Weird...yeah DH and I both grew up Mennonite but no longer identify as Christian. My son enjoys going to church with my parent's though. I attend sometimes with him when he asks but feel a great sense of unease there for a variety of reason.

I'm sure we are part of the problem... I think DH and I feed off of one another social anxiety. I have more questions now... but guess I will have to do another post for those.