How to handle this situation? - Page 2

[CarrieMF]

When my son was in 6th grade, we got to talking about wrestling and how it could be a good sport for him with his build and strategic mind. Signed him up for Rec, went to a few practices. Come to find out that they used the new kids as "practice dummies" for the more experienced kids. He wasn't learning anything except how to have his face and body ground into the mat by kids outweighing him by a good 20-30 pounds. THAT, I considered a safety issue and I pulled him from the program - and complained to the folks running the program. Fell on deaf ears, but at least he was safe.

wow. My oldest is in Grade 6 & had been in Judo for 2 years now. When they have practices they're supposed to partner with someone who is roughly the same size as they are(whether they're at the same level or not). the odd time they'd end up with someone alot smaller/bigger due to who is & isn't there, but they tend to hold back becuase they know they can get hurt. when they have tournaments they're into age & specific weight categories. They can move up 1 age category & they will combine some weight divisions. Injuries can happen quite easily when you're fighting against someone your own age/weight category.

I also think that 4 and 5 year-olds are awfully young to be on competitive teams. I don't see how that's developmentally approriate. There should just be fun classes to learn more about playing the game at that age.

having games doens't mean it is competitive. At that age here all the games are for fun & nobody is keeping score/track of who won, scored, etc. It's about getting out & kicking the ball.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by Needle in the Hay

Maybe not a magic age, but it certainly makes sense to them when they've chosen the activity and enjoy it. If they have to be made to go then maybe it's just a bad fit. A kid who doesn't want to play isn't going to benefit being made to sit and watch week after week.

One of my kids wanted to quit everything when she found out that effort was involved. Learning that she needed to stick with these for a certain amount of time meant that she worked past that and now has lots of things that she can do well enough to enjoy them.

My other child takes a while to warm up to things. Sometimes being on the sidelines is a GREAT way to get used to an acitivity.

This is a funny issue to me because I started out feeling the same as you, but it was a huge deal to my DH because he has two neices who were allowed to quit everything. They are in the 20's now and still quit everything when they find out it takes work.

Seeing how it's played out over the years for our kids (who are now in middle school) and I'm glad I let him win this one.

We are very mellow about what they start and very clear about how long is a fair try, but you can't just go once and then quit in our family.

[beebalmmama]

Originally Posted by Needle in the Hay

Maybe not a magic age, but it certainly makes sense to them when they've chosen the activity and enjoy it. If they have to be made to go then maybe it's just a bad fit. A kid who doesn't want to play isn't going to benefit being made to sit and watch week after week. However, if the OP suspects her DS does want to play and he's not resisting just going and watching, then why not? I agree with the PP(s) who said not to try to encourage him to go play. Better to keep the pressure off.

I also think that 4 and 5 year-olds are awfully young to be on competitive teams. I don't see how that's developmentally approriate. There should just be fun classes to learn more about playing the game at that age.

I do think he might like it. I don't think he's very competitive at this age, but he loves running and playing with the ball. I think he was initially very excited about soccer because of all the running involved. But for him it seems that he'll only do things when "all the stars are aligned" and I'm sure the coach situation and the games cinched the deal for him.

Well we went to the game today and told him we were at least going to support his team. I stashed his gear in a bag without him knowing, just in case he changed his mind. He didn't really want to go but he was pretty cooperative and was most excited about the snack at the end.....they really are so young aren't they. His poor team was getting hammered and only 3 kids played and so they were playing the whole game. I really wish they wouldn't have games. I do need to talk to dh about being a little less negative about ds not playing though. Dh is extremely extroverted and gets more discouraged with ds's reserved nature.