I should be huge and uncomfortably pregnant right now with twins, but I lost them months ago. As the due date creeps near it just hurts more and more. I've lost more babies than I've kept and it just rips my heart out to think about it. Why does it keep happening to me? I've birthed healthy babies, why the change? Now, instead of being busy getting ready for babies and feeling them wrestle in my womb, I sit here alone (my boys are with their dad and my DP is at work) and just can't shake the sadness. All I wanted was to hold them, smell them, nurse them and love them and that has been taken away from me. I just don't understand and I'm not sure I even want to. I just hurt.
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4/15/10 at 7:20pm