Less Than Ideal

[zapzipzee]

What "less than idea" situations did you come across in your UC's and how did you handle them (also, why did you chose to handle them the way you did)?

I'm all for details and thought process here!

TIA!!!

[zoebird]

uhm. mine were all social.

physically, my UP was fabulous. i didn't have any real discomforts; i ate well, practiced yoga, and got weekly massage. i took no measurements of any kind, but i did photograph myself weekly (except the week where i gave birth. i wanted to, but it got away from us. LOL).

my UC was unbelievable. seriously, it was a gorgeous and pleasurable labor and birth. i am very happy with how it went in every way. it was orgasmic at first, then deeply quiet and peaceful for the longest part, and then an ecstatic dance with spontaneous sounding until the birth. just remarkable.

clean up was easy, too. not much mess at all.

after, we did have latch issues and got DS latched within a week. i pumped and fed him with a dropper, then trained him with my finger and syringe, and then he was on with a nipple shield.

while i was prepared--numbers of lactation consultants, etc--everyone was on vacation that week, so it took a while (he was born on Sat am and i finally got an appointment Wednesday). i was not prepared to be so freaked out and frustrated about not being able to reach those women.

certainly, everyone deserves a vacation. but when you call every listed LC in a tri-state area (DE, PA, and NJ) and every freakin' one is on vacation, it makes you kind of desparate. the last thing i wanted was to go with formula, and i had no hook up with a milk share!

so, this was part of the down side of UC for me. being a rare bird, without connections via midwives, etc, it makes it harder to find some of the resources that you may want. and in some cases, you are barred anyway. I called the midwives when i couldn't get any response from LCs, and they told me that i couldn't contact them for ANY service because i had UCed and they didn't want to take on the "legal risks."

i understand protecting your business too--particularly in PA--but that's why i say that my greatest issue was social. i just didn't really have the community support that i needed at that moment.

i was lucky that my doctor and a number of friends and family were supportive, but they ddin't have the expertise that i needed at that point. even the doctor kept telling me to get in with an LC as quickly as possible. I was doing my best, calling multiple times a day--calling LLL to find out if they could help or give a number (also on vacation, btw! LOL).

so, yeah. that was my experience.

[belchers1]

The only regret I have about my UC that may have affecting my ability to labor well, was lack of rest. I went into it exhausted. I just wanted to sleep so badly. I kept falling asleep, and became frustrated every time a contraction woke me up.

[basje]

"less than ideal"

I had an amazing UC, delivering my LO on the floor of my bathroom after two pushes. Because of her swift exit and good size (8.9 pounds) I tore (2nd degree) in three places. I waited for the placenta for about two hours, wanting to deliver it before going to the hospital for stitches. I got impatient so transfered to the hospital with a retained placenta which I was finally able to push out 45 minutes later and a few minutes after the obgyn finished the stitches I hemorrhaged. Three liters of blood in about five minutes. They rushed me in to surgery figuring I retained some of the placenta and did a D&C, found nothing, but had already lost enough blood to have no clotting properties so they started transfusion blood and plasma. I was in surgery for five hours, and they gave me 9 liters of blood before my body started clotting. Having such a huge transfusion caused my organs to start to shut down, and respiratory failure so they stuck me on a ventilator. I woke up the morning after delivering my daughter in the ICU not able to breath on my own. Thankfully narrowly missing a hysterectomy.

Because of my wonderful birth and healthy baby I was still feeling very blessed when I awoke from surgery on the vent. I knew my LO was healthy and her birth had been flawless and beautiful. Although I had major pp complications I had an awesome and empowering labor, had I done the whole thing in a hospital I think I would be looking back at the experience as traumatic. Never was there a moment that I questioned my UC. I was feeling confident and positive about my choice to transfer, and glad that I followed my gut. Having a "worse case happen" and being responsible for myself in that situation made me feel even more empowered. I had complications. I took care of them. I made excellent choices at every turn. I got everything I wanted.

Thankfully my doula advocated for my desire to breastfeed with the hospital staff, and the hospital lactation consultants came up to the ICU and pumped for me while I was on the ventilator. The doctors, and LC didn't think that I would have any chance of lactating but on the third day when I was finally breathing on my own and my mother brought my LO to the hospital for me I was pumping 6-8 onces per breast. Everyone was stunned! Thankfully while I was in hospital my family fed my daughter donated milk with a dropper and a MDC mom came by a few times to nurse her.

I was in the hospital six days, and am happy to report got excellent care. I met with the lactation consultants every day and had hours of instruction from them and the postpartum care nurses on breastfeeding which was much more challenging than I expected. Had I not had the extra support I think breastfeeding would have been a failure. I am grateful that I got to use the hospital staff to learn from while I was there and that I will have that knowledge for future births.

Complications are rare, especially what I had happen. I hope other mothers can learn from my experience that you don't have to have an ideal birth to have a wonderful UC. I had a UC with complications, and it still was the best choice I could have made. Just as I might have complications in hospital, or with a midwife, I handled them and had the best possible experience and outcomes out of any of the other options.

[zoebird]

that's a really "cool" story, basje.

by that i mean, i'm sorry that you were in the hospital and in such dire circumstnces, but i am glad tht you made it through, had a great UC, and also had the support you needed for your LO (donor milk and a MDC mama stopping by to nurse), and also the support you needed to get your BFing relationship going. that is super awesome.

so thank you very much for sharing your story!

[amberskyfire]

I was a primip and even with eight years of research behind me, I still had some "less-than-ideal" things with my UC.

To start (and this probably actually sums it all up), I had a posterior presenting baby which made for an ultra-long labor. I was in transition for five hours. I was seriously ready for someone to take me out behind the barn with a shotgun. I have never heard of a transition that long.

Also, I didn't have hot water at the time and lived in an efficiency cabin. There was no room for a birth pool and my shower was lukewarm, so I couldn't even use that for comfort. It was, as my husband would say, "teh suck."

The worst part was that I was exhausted. Absolutely exhausted. Beyond exhausted. I was a fool during my pregnancy and didn't exercise even though everyone told me I should. I didn't gain any weight (other than the baby) during my pregnancy, so I thought I didn't need to exercise. Foolish mom that I was, I soon found out that exercising isn't to keep the weight off. Next time, I'm going to exercise every day of my pregnancy so that I'll have enough strength for the birth.

Other than that, everything was great. I had some "complications," but dealt with all of them just fine. There was meconium staining and baby had a short cord wrapped around her neck which pulled on the placenta when I pushed her out which caused me to hemorrhage pretty badly and very fast. I took some raw placenta and that stopped it immediately and I followed it with nipple stimulation and uterine massage. I lost my hearing for a minute from the bloodloss, but we didn't have to transfer.

I wish that I had been able to control my pushing, but it was too powerful. I ended up with a bad 2nd degree tear, but I still consider the birth as having been fantastic. I just hope the next one is easier

[zapzipzee]

Amberskyfire - Awesome you managed the hemorage... I think my husband would start freaking out if that happend! He's a paramedic and that is his biggest fear. We have been walking and riding our bikes and I lost all the weight I had gained so far (we had been doing yoga but that was about it)... I was so bumbed. Slowly bringing more exercise back and eating some ice cream every night is keeping me from losing any more weight. What did you do about the tear?

[amberskyfire]

I had midwives for my pre- and postnatal care, so they came by the day after the birth and stitched me. They would have come over right away to stitch it because it heals badly if you wait too long, but I didn't know that I had torn. It was a ways up inside and I never felt it. I didn't have any idea it had happened until they checked me out.

You can prevent tears by controlling baby's descent by holding back sometimes. I couldn't, though I tried. If you end up getting a normal 1st or 2nd degree tear, you can often just let it heal on its own by keeping your legs together and staying in bed for a week or two.

I have also heard of moms going to the hospital emergency room to have it stitched, but they caution against bringing the baby in as a patient. Just check yourself in unless you want a pediatrician to look at the baby, otherwise I've heard of some hospitals keeping the baby there a few days to "punish" the parents for the home birth.

[MyBoysBlue]

My UC was very fast, my water broke with not much warning and I went straight into transition and my DS was born just 25 minutes later. No damage and such. He pinked up right away and everything was fine. After a while of sitting and staring at DS I started to get cold and we decided to cut the cord so DH could take DS and I could get into the bath and warm up so we decided to get me upright and see if the placenta would come out. I ended up pushing it out in the toilet but it remained attached by the membranes. We looked up what to do and ended up twisting it around and around until it came loose. So really the only less than ideal thing was the minor placenta problem.