Don't tell me what to do!!!!

[titania8]

so says my 2 four year olds lately. what do you do with this?? i'm at a loss. i 'get' that they are asserting their independence, but come on. how does one respond to this?

[CherryBombMama]

my mom always told me, "well i am your MOM. im SUPPOSED to tell you what to do."

hahaha maybe they wont really learn anything from it but its a comeback

[nd_deadhead]

At 4, they probably have a pretty good idea of what's expected of them. How about trying this once in a while:

"Boys, we're leaving the house in 5 minutes, and I see shoes in the closet. You know what to do."

[LynnS6]

Depending on the context: "OK you tell me what we need to do to get ready." or "That sounded rude, how can you say that more politely?"

Do you know what they're objecting to?

[One_Girl]

I used to have dd rephrase things at times then I would ask for more information about the objection. There are times when I say something isn't a choice and repeat the directions I gave, but usually we can negotiate a solution that works for both of us or I can entice her to give what I am telling her to do a try without strong arming her.

[titania8]

i'll have to remember to ask them to rephrase next time. i've had it up to here with the yelling at me and dh.

Originally Posted by LynnS6

Depending on the context: "OK you tell me what we need to do to get ready." or "That sounded rude, how can you say that more politely?"

Do you know what they're objecting to?

they object to pretty much everything these days. like tonight, we're all snuggling in their queen size bed (me, dh and the 2 of them) to settle down for the night. books have been read and light out, music on. they are bouncing around, telling stories (LOUDLY). i remind (not demand or command or say directly) that now is the time to settle down. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! I DON'T LIKE BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO!! FROM NOW ON *DON'T* TELL ME WHAT TO DO! WE'LL DECIDE WHAT TO DO!

ok....so i ask, 'what's your plan for getting to sleep tonight?'

more of the same. i can't remember what i said, if anything, at that point. just trying not to engage too much since we are trying to settle down for the night. i ended up leaving for a bit while they bounced around and talked. went back up and snuggled for a bit when they were ready.

i'll pay more attention tomorrow about the specifics of the situations that elicit the 'don't tell me what to do' response, and try asking them to rephrase and explain what they are objecting to.