How to get an older child to go gluten free

[MoonStarFalling]

My son is a very spirited 8 year old. I just did a one week trial going gluten free and I felt like it made a difference. I wanted him to do three weeks but after the first 5 days he got upset. By day 8 he was hysterical. I tried to convince him that I thought it would help him feel better and really wanted him to finish the three weeks but it didn't work. Now I'm faced with a challenge. Do I force him to do this no matter how combative he becomes? How do you all keep your children on restrictive diets without them hating you for it? Every time we're in public he is hysterically begging for gluten. As of now he is spitefully eating all the gluten he can find.

[mamafish9]

My son's only 3, so this wasn't our issue. But for spirited kids, I'm always wanting to ask if you've tried magnesium supplements... Easy (compared to restricted diets), and can make a huge difference for some kids.

[kjbrown92]

My DS was 8yo when we went gluten free (in fact, we got his test results on his bday). He begged and pleaded for 3 days like a heroin addict. I held firm because I was convinced it would lead to overall healing of his food intolerances. We made it through, and he's still gluten free. It'll be one of the last foods we add back in.

[Multimomma]

we worked really hard to find replacements of their favorite foods, and even made more sweets than normal, just so they could see that GF doesn't mean they have to give up anything.

Did you just cut things out? It might be easier to slowly wean back too, by cutting out the breads and pastas. Sometimes replacement is worse, right away, because they don't taste comparable.

also, is the whole family GF, or just him? That might make a difference as well. If it helps him, in my experience the rest of the family will benefit from gluten free, because those genes come from somewhere

[dannic]

I agree with multi momma. it can be hard on even little kids seeing family eat what they can't have. Our family went gf with dd (who was 2 at the time; she's 5 now). I f you could do that at least for awhile, it could help. Is there something non-food that you could work up to as a prize? Money, books, legoes, whatever? also at that age, you can start educating him as to why this is important and talk about other food diets, other disabilities, ect. I recently did this with dd who had a tough time when there wasn't a treat for her at church (who knew they'd bring treats that day?) and it helped.

[mtm]

What is he missing? Maybe we can help you find good gf substitutes?

[MoonStarFalling]

There's no way he would sit there watching us all eat bread! lol I haven't bought or served gluten to anyone. I have been made a temporary allowance for gluten free cold cereal so he doesn't feel too deprived.

We do mag supplements and have since he was 3 but sadly never seemed to make a difference. I had hoped it would help too.

I don't think he's actually craving bread. Twice now we had a served meal (like a wedding) that came with bread and he didn't even touch it. I think he's just super mad at me for telling him what he can and can't have. He's extremely spirited like I said lol. That stuff just doesn't go over with him. I'm mostly just upset that he's so upset at me. I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing or if I should just give up.

Currently he earns family currency for positive behaviors so I might use that for days that he stays gluten free.

Do you view this as your child's decision though? Is it their decision to eat what they choose? Or do you mandate an allergen free diet?

[kjbrown92]

I suppose I mandated it. Because I didn't want my kids to have eczema, scream all night writhing in pain, wetting the bed, getting rashes, having tantrums all the time, etc. I tell him if he one day wants to be able to add all the foods back in, that he has to be diligent now (I've probably used other words with him though). When we trial a food, and he has issues (whether it's tantrums, or stomach pain), we talk about it, and he realizes it's a "fail" and he has to stay off it for longer. He's been restricted on and off since birth, though his most restrictions (about 30 foods) came on his 8th birthday. My DD2 has been restricted since about 13 months old, so it's about all she remembers. DS remembers all the things he used to have, which is why I spend a lot of time making like-things for them (pizza, pretzels, cakes, bread, muffins, etc.).

[wwisdomskr]

We do lots of baking and do get special safe treats. My 9yo still expresses sadness about the restrictions she has. As a family, we all eat a very restricted diet to accommodate the different allergies and intolerances. We take the kids out separately for things that they each can have but the others cannot. My 9yo has the worst allergies, though, so there's nothing special that she alone can enjoy. But, she loves her Daddy's baking!

I show her a lot of empathy and listen to her feelings. I make sure that we nearly always have her favorite fruit, veggies and snacks in the house.

[iamama]

I feel a lot like your son does! I hated going gf and it took me a long time to get used to it. Now over 2 years later I am used to it and have a lot of gf favorites. But it was not easy and was a gradual process. This is going to be a life long situation give it time and look for some Pamela's mix and Tinkyada noodles

[mamafish9]

Any way you can treat it like a science experiment? Count/graph behaviors that you're hoping GF diminishes, let him see if it changes the data any?

For spirited kids, if GF doesn't get you where you hope, another possibility to consider is food chemical intolerances (salicylates is most common).

ETA - for mag, how much and what kind are you supping?

[kjbrown92]

He should be old enough to understand responsibility and consequences, no? As in, if I eat this, then this ... happens. If I'm good, then... that happens. Can you keep a chart to track progress. Almost like a sticker chart for when they're potty training or whatever, but using some sort of reward. But also talking about choices, and making good choices being a reward in itself? With my DD1, we often talk about food choices (lunchables vs. packed lunches.... carbs vs. proteins.... fast food vs. traditional food, etc.) and why we make the choices that we do. Or could you at the end of a week where he's been good, make him a special treat that normally would have been gluten, or something that he doesn't usually get (like ice cream or candy), nothing big, but something tangible as a food treat? Also, if he is good about it, make sure there's a lot of praise involved, because it is really hard.

[dannic]

I forced it. Because I have seen the difference it makes, that and other things have been mandatory. Granted, we started young, but it gives us all a higher quality of life, she is healthy and happier. For us it's not immediately this drastic, but I liken it to a kid with diabetes. I would force that too. I truly believe that for dd if left unchecked it would later ruin her health long-term. (thinking autoimmune issues related to gluten consumption in those who are sensitive)
I am sure others don't feel this way. Just our approach.

[MoonStarFalling]

Thank you all for the input! I'm going to bring home some gf foods for him to try. I also added "staying gluten free" to his chart so he can earn rewards for it. I think I will start keeping a chart of his outbursts so we can all see the pattern which I'm almost certain will go down when he starts sticking to gf better.

[dannic]

I am reading The G Free Diet and there's a lot of great information. It has sections specifically on kids as well. (what can I say, I'm a book sorta girl, lol.)