How do you deal with the fear of something going wrong?

[TheDivineMrsM]

I'm barely 6 weeks pregnant, and I'm scared of losing my baby. This child is very wanted and very planned. He/she is our first.

My symptoms disappeared today, and while the rational side of my brain is saying that everything is probably fine, the hysterical side is screaming that something must be wrong.

How do you deal with the fear of something going wrong?

[enigo]

I try try try not to think about it and keep myself busy (Did I mention Try?)
I am only 4 wks, but the line was so light it's hard to trust.

[fairyannanicole]

Dont google, stay away from google, it is EVIL!!!!!!!

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by fairyannanicole

Dont google, stay away from google, it is EVIL!!!!!!!

This.



And really, there is no way to get away from it. My daughter is almost a year old and I've been scared of bad things happening to her since I got the bfp. I've talked to my mom, and apparently it never goes away.

You just have to teach yourself to be calm. Accept the things you cannot change. My mom always says "don't borrow trouble"-- if there's nothing you can do even if something is wrong, worrying doesn't do a bit of good.

Take time to relax.


Keep in mind that the odds are way in your favor that you'll be holding a wonderful baby this winter.

[MaerynPearl]

I lost my first at 13 weeks and nearly lost my second at 17 (placental abruption long before baby would have been viable, luckily bedrest worked to stop it from getting worse)

my second and third were born perfectly healthy and full term...

So really all I can do is remind myself... worry will not change the outcome. But it will add stress that is not healthy for baby. Worry will not guarantee I have a healthy baby or another loss... and there is nothing I can do to prevent it from happening (both situations were far out of my control)

Worry is what I need to avoid, not a loss. Stay positive thinking and if something happens, it happens. But worrying will not do anything for you.

If you catch yourself worrying just tell yourself, right now the baby is fine. There is no need for the worry.

(If, however, odd/scary symptoms do arise, do not just ignore them because you are positive thinking. Tell yourself its probably nothing but should be checked out!)

[NicolleLynne]

Hi Mama,

I've been there... Truth be told, I still am there to some degree. I'm on my third pregnancy (currently 34 weeks), the first two ended in losses and I feel like I've been riding a roller coaster for the last eight months. What the previous posters have suggested is all excellent advice. Try not to spend too much time on the net, it's chock full of worst case scenarios and scary statistics that can easily make you crazy if you're already prone to worry. Also, try to greet each day with gratitude for the baby you're carrying. He or she is with you right now, today, make whatever time you have with your little one, in or out of the womb, the happiest and most joyful it can be.

I've spent the majority of this pregnancy scared and now, approaching the last few weeks of having my little girl inside me, I regret not taking more time to bond with her and be happy. I wish I hadn't let my fears get the better of me on so many occasions. I'm definitely going to try to make the most of whatever time I have left to be pregnant and deal with my fear before my baby's born. I don't want to be one of those hovering mamas, scared to let their kid out the front door or ride a bike.

You're just at the beginning of your journey, make the most of it, celebrate the miracle inside you. Congratulations and best of luck!

[born2birth]

**hugs** This is my 8th pregnancy (5th baby) ~ and I always have that thought in the back of my head about losing this baby. I'm 7 weeks and symptoms are raging, but I still can't help but think about it from time to time.

I think it's normal to worry a bit when you're expecting something you really want. I guess all we can do is think about the positives & expect the best.

[RedOakMomma]

I find statistics very comforting. As the pregnancy progresses, you have higher and higher odds of everything being fine. And with each new stage (6 weeks, 8 weeks, first doppler heartbeat, 12 weeks) you get a bump up in the better odds category.

...plus something my OB said was really comforting, too. After my m/c, we had a long talk about this pregnancy and he said "there's no reason to think this won't be a healthy pregnancy." Simple sentence, I know, but it's comforting and true. Just because something bad CAN happen, or DID happen, doesn't mean you should expect it.

[BlackSheepPDX]

I find I really just have to remind myself that there's not much I can change, so I can't make myself crazy worrying about. Like the PP said, each little milestone of increased viability makes me feel more secure, but overall, I just have to be zen, trust my body, and be as healthy as I can. Especially in the very early weeks, I feel like I just have to go about my business as best as I can, and let time pass.

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by NicolleLynne

Also, try to greet each day with gratitude for the baby you're carrying. He or she is with you right now, today, make whatever time you have with your little one, in or out of the womb, the happiest and most joyful it can be.

That just made me burst out crying.



Stupid hormones.

[TheDivineMrsM]

Originally Posted by Kelly1101

That just made me burst out crying.



Stupid hormones.

Me too. I'm going to have to write that one down and carry it with me.

Thank you for all your kind words, ladies. Fx for all of us!!

[2sweetboysmom]

Many s
This is pregnancy#11 for me and praying baby #4.
It does happen...but the stress and worry and anxiousness only changes 1 thing... your enjoyment and memories of the pregnancy, that is all the difference it makes. You lose time loving your little-one, you lose building happy memories, because your brain and heart are too wrapped up in fear and imagining the pain... If your baby is healthy and strong and you carry to term you have lost those precious beginning moments. If you loose you baby, you have not loved and bonded and poured you spirit into them.
Every few years science learns more about developing babies, the line at which they believe there is the possibility for memories to be formed moves further and further back. For me, I assume that my babies are as aware of me as I am of them. No matter how long they are here I want them to know just how much they are loved and wanted. It is sometimes very hard work to shut out the anxiousness, but I want for them to just feel peace and love from me, so I work hard at shutting off the worry. On the occasions where it just overtakes me I sit and talk to my little-one and explain why I am feeling anxious, and just how much I love them.