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Originally Posted by yukookoo  A year ago we were still paying a 3500 a month mortgage and doing well with that, had savings etc. so we thought that downgrading to 1700 a month was pretty good. We were never too worried about investment and savings because me being a sahm was temporary, now that dd is almost 3 i was supposed to go back to work full time and our income would at least double.
anyway it seems like we are constantly faced with the question of how much are we willing to sacrifice to keep dd out of daycare. Are we willing to move ot a 1 bedroom apartment and sell the car? Well i'll say im willign to do almost anything. but maybe its time to give up.
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First off,
Right now, you are still grieving, dealing with a new pregnancy and a drop in income. Very very intense time.
Sometimes it does feel like 'nothing matters', that nothing you do will get your out of your present situation, or that more turns will put you back to square one. The recent economy just makes things worse.
The thing is, never ever give up. When I graduated with a business degree in 2007, I was 7 mos pregnant. When I felt like I would be able to get back out in the field in 2008, everything crashed and well, new grad with little/no experience verses other degreed people with experience. Fun.
Dh has also had a heck of a time finding anything other than clerk work, which pays nothing, at least not in this area. At 28, all I can afford is one bedroom in a house shared with others. My cousins, all in college still, just had their mother, the only income earner, really, pass away suddenly last June.
Right now, we are all living together, splitting costs. This is not the way I expected to be living. But you know what, there have been benefits.
For one, I make my own soap and laundry detergent to save $$$ and super sensitive skinned dh and ds have never had a breakout since. I make lots of scratch foods, which has totally spoiled me & my family. An ordinary muffin just doesn't taste good anymore. Homemade cleaners work nicely, and again, super sensitive skinned dh hasn't had an issue since. Seriously, his skin would just be full of sores before, which took lots of not so nice topical medication to heal, which was $$. Ds has super close relationships with his cousins, has only had family watch him, and even as an only child, learned how to share, etc.
While it's not what I imagined, it's not bad either.
Right now, it's overwhelming to think of everything. However, people are telling you it can be done and that it's really not as bad as you are thinking it will be. Change is difficult and scary. But a lot of times, it turns out to be a really good thing too. ETA: Focus on ONE thing at a time. For example, the biggest budget help would be to find a different place. You don't necessarily NEED an apartment, there are 2 bedroom homes scattered throughout that will go for cheap rent due to # of rooms. Focus on perhaps finding a few different areas near BART right now. Then focus on finding tenants to take over the lease, and find a place. Then move onto the next step. Much easier to manage, less overwhelming.
As for your dh's varying income, can you take the lowest income he's brought in since the change and budget for that? Dh gets a bonus at one of the places he works at, which can vary, but I budget everything from his 'base' pay amount, the least he would bring in. Everything has to fit within that framework. The 'extra' can be allocated to cushion the 'base' categories. Example: If dh's bonus is $200, I can add some to the food budget or 'extras' budget (clothing, toys, whatever doesn't fit squarely into the others), or anything I think needs padding that month. Stocking up on food/home goods one month gives me a buffer that allows me to save up for other things.
Ami
