easily distracted

[minkin03]

my 6 yo dd (oldest child) is very easily distracted. she's very creative and a deep thinker. she's also highly visual and perceptual and i think this is why she has a hard time staying focused or following through with directions.

the problem i'm having is when she has to get ready for school or bed and i have to tell her over and over to get her socks on, brush her teeth, get pjs on, etc.... it's frustrating and i lose my patience with her and end up yelling when i find her playing with something (toys/books/etc) or wandering around 5 min. later and she hasn't done what she needs to do.

how can i get her to stay on task better so she can do what she needs to do to, for instance get ready for bed.

[momtoTnT]

It might be the age (I hope anyway - because you just described my DS!). No advice from me - but will be interested in what others say!

[applecider]

We have the same problem at almost 5. I was really hoping it would get better soon! The only thing I have done that helps a little is set a timer. He doesn't seem to mind and it helps him stay on track (some of the time!)

[LynnS6]

We get dressed together. So, I bring her clothes in my room (or have her bring her clothes in, some days she can do that, other days she's not that willing). There are no toys in my room and she can see what I'm doing, which is a good visual reminder. I can also give a gentle prompt "Ok, now your socks" when she's getting off track.

Sometimes we also use the timer -- you need to be dressed before the time beeps is a pretty good motivator.

[NellieKatz]

One of my favorite expressions (a metaphor) is "steer into the skid." You know when you're learning what to do when driving down an icy road and then you skid and the first thing you try is to pull OUT of it, and they say no, steer INTO the skid...it helps you regain control of the wheel. So this has become one of my biggest parenting metaphors.

This was very common with my son. Bright, verbal, creative and distractable. I could say the same for myself so I am not surprised. Anyway, have you tried not even telling her to do PJs or to get dressed? At age six, she already knows the drill. What's the worst that would happen if she doesn't do these things? She goes to school in her PJs? That would straighten itself out pretty quickly, I think. And would she go to bed in her clothes? Maybe, but maybe not....

I found out with my son that he really valued our nighttime routine. The order of events was brush teeth, put on PJs, read books together, and then bedtime. Well at one point when he got to be about 6 it just sort of dawned on me, why am I making us all miserable with the goading and nagging? He knows what needs doing. So I'd say "hey I'm not going to wait all night for you to get through your nighttime routine in order to read with you. So we can read now if you like,and you can just do teeth and clothes afterward." When I thought about it, it is not important the ORDER he does things in, or whether he jumps to do it on my command (this is where you may end up checking your own motivations) My goal is just that he get them all done before he goes to bed. Because we don't want cavities and it's yucky to sleep in clothing you've played in all day.

Another thing that I found out is that he really valued the routine. Sometimes I'd say, it looks like you're busy and not interested in doing teeth and PJs right now. Should we just skip straight to books and not do our routine? He really valued the routine (even though from his snails-pace approach you'd never know it) so when I put it in terms of busting up the routine, he'd usually hop to it.

But yeah, at age 6 she's probably looking to get a little credit for knowing what needs doing, and maybe just a little more choice in how it gets done.

I'm a little sleepy right now; I hope I am making sense but if I am not making sense or if you have questions, I would be happy to elaborate. :-)