Please don't say "they took the baby"!

[AmyKT]

This is just a major, major pet peeve of mine, and I need to rant! I fully accept that there are legitimate, life-saving reasons for having a caesarean birth, and my beef is not with that or even (this time) about the times when it's not so necessary, but I HATE it when women say "the dr took the baby" or "the dr will take the baby" when talking about a c-section. It just sounds so violent and victimizing to me. I can understand that many women may feel that way about a c-section, but it's often said in a very blaise fashion, as if it doesn't bother them at all. Or more often, it's said by other women outside of the birth dyad: "The dr is taking Bethany's baby next Tuesday." If I were faced with having a caesarean birth, there is no way I would talk about someone "taking" my baby? My baby would still be "born."

Is anyone else bothered by this? What do you think it comes from?

Please understand, I'm not meaning to be harsh toward women in their most vulnerable moments, it just really, really bugs me that this is how so many of us view birth.

[Amila]

Someone on my facebook from high school has this caption under her c-section birth pic:

"Right after the doctor removed him"

Is that awful or what?

[louis]

I guess because I see the term birth for the natural process of vaginal birth, I feel weird about thinking of a baby being "born by cesarian".

Though I also do not like the idea of the baby being "taken" or "removed." For me, I guess the only language I find best suits the situation is "delivered." While I don't like the use of the word delivered as it relates to natural childbirth, it seems most appropriate for the act of cesarian.

[Bokonon]

In my case, it did feel like they were "taking the baby", since he had to be born and taken to the NICU right away. I don't know that I use that terminology though. I think I usually just say that my babies needed to get out!

[Drummer's Wife]

Taking the baby sounds odd to me, too (and I've had 4 c-sections).

I have never used that term. It makes it sound like they literally took off with your baby!

ETA: I would/have said, "after the baby was born" or "after the c-section". Regardless of how the baby comes out, they are all born.

I know some people object to the term cesarean or surgical birth, b/c they don't think it was a birth - but that just seems like silly semantics to me.

[AmyKT]

Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife

I know some people object to the term cesarean or surgical birth, b/c they don't think it was a birth - but that just seems like silly semantics to me.

I've only just started using the term "cesarean birth" after reading Birthing from Within. For me, I think it would be important to still consider my child "born" even if it wasn't vaginal because for me, birthing with midwives and having been through an unmedicated vaginal birth, the situation would have to be pretty dire for me to have a cesarean birth, and there's no way I would want to differentiate between my girls. One was born and one was taken? I don't think so.

So I have to disagree with MacBeth's witches on this one. Not born of a woman? Sure he was.

[AmyKT]

Originally Posted by Bokonon

In my case, it did feel like they were "taking the baby", since he had to be born and taken to the NICU right away. I don't know that I use that terminology though. I think I usually just say that my babies needed to get out!

And yes, I can TOTALLY understand it feeling that way in many circumstances. This is what I was guessing that at least some of that usage comes from.

[readytobedone]

It bugs me too, like when people say, "they needed to take the baby early."

I would personally say, "they needed to deliver her early" or "she needed to be born early," because I agree that taking sounds violent and also sounds like the baby is some kind of object and not a person.

[Drummer's Wife]

see, and I would never say I've given birth, b/c despite enduring a combined total of 75 hrs of painful labor, I underwent c-sections.

But, my babies were certainly all born... and on their birthdays, we celebrate this. We don't celebrate the-day-the-Dr-ripped-you-out-of-my-body-and-took-you.

[gcgirl]

Is this a colloquialism? Because I've never heard this.

[Shellie]

I don't like the phrase because it implies that the decision-making power is and should be 100% with the HCP...kwim?

[AmyKT]

Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife

see, and I would never say I've given birth, b/c despite enduring a combined total of 75 hrs of painful labor, I underwent c-sections.

But, my babies were certainly all born... and on their birthdays, we celebrate this. We don't celebrate the-day-the-Dr-ripped-you-out-of-my-body-and-took-you.

HA! I was just wondering about what you would call birthdays if you don't consider a c-section a birth! I guess I can't say how I would really feel about the semantics, since I've not had a c-section. I'm glad you do at least accept "being born" if not "giving birth." I couldn't figure out what word to use other than "born," like when telling a child about "the day you were born."

So I'll just leave the semantics to those who've been in the trenches other than that "taking the baby" business. That one simply has to go.

[staceychev]

Originally Posted by Shellie

I don't like the phrase because it implies that the decision-making power is and should be 100% with the HCP...kwim?

Me neither.

[AmyKT]

Originally Posted by gcgirl

Is this a colloquialism? Because I've never heard this.

It may be a southern thing.

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

I've never had a c-section myself, but because it is something that actually scares the hell out me (the idea of having to have one that is) and because of this i would never say the "the dr. was taking the baby" or "took the baby" i would say the "baby is going to be born on x date" or "baby was born on x date"

[prairiebird]

Originally Posted by gcgirl

Is this a colloquialism? Because I've never heard this.

I've never heard this either. I am in the midwest. I always hear "born by a c-section" or "cesarean birth". But I agree that saying 'took' the baby seems kind of weird, like the baby is an object or something!

[Drummer's Wife]

Originally Posted by AmyKT

It may be a southern thing.

I don't know that I've ever heard it said, but I've certainly read it online. Even on FB. It is definitely an odd phrase.

[sanguine_speed]

[mama2toomany]

With my c/section I do sometimes say "when they took them out" but for me it doesn't come from anything traumatizing, they were not even MY babies so I guess part of me is detached from it.

[Galatea]

They say "take the baby" ALL the time here in Pittsburgh (midwest.) You hear it more than "had a c-section," esp. with older women. I HATE the phrase and it makes me crazy to hear it.