Toddler refusing car seat - just with me.

[New_Natural_Mom]

Recently my 2 yo DS has been INSANELY resistant to getting into his carseat - screaming, squirming, crying, EVERYTHING! When I finally manage to calm him down enough to get him in the seat he is fine. (He is still RF). I am ashamed to say I bribe him by offering him a gummy fish oil (which then I forget to give him when we get home and he forgets to ask for.)

Is this a stage? He doesn't do this for DH. He is normally super mellow.

Does this mean I should turn him around? He is 26-26lbs and I have no idea how tall he is.

I can't tell if this is a toddler thing or just a weird quirk...

[ssh]

Sounds like a normal 2 year old thing. I started always having a safe snack for the car at about 2. There were times we just didn't go anywhere or walked instead at that age.

[Llyra]

I wouldn't turn him around (although I would get him weighed just to make sure he's still under the weight limit, and I'd check that he's not too tall to be rear-facing-- he's too tall when there isn't an inch of hard seat above his head anymore.) But if he's still within the limits for rear-facing for that seat, he's SO SO SO much safer still rear-facing. Safety has to be non-negotiable. It's not a decision that should be left in his hands.

I see nothing wrong with "bribes." They're not bribes-- they're diversions. Distractions. Lubricant to help grease squeaky wheels. I keep a little bag in the car full of little snacks, books, and toys, to help deal with moments like those. Pulling a little bag of raisins or something, or a neat toy he hasn't seen in a while, might do the trick nicely. So can talking about what you're on your way to do-- mention the interesting whatever he's going to see when he gets to wherever you're going, or if you're on your way home, talk about what he can do or see when you get there.

And hang in there- as they get older, and more verbal, they become more able to understand the reasons for car seats, and that can help a lot.

[New_Natural_Mom]

I don't *want* to turn him, but if that was going to be the only option then since safety is of top concern and we don't have the luxury of being able to walk where we need to go, that would be the only option.

What are safe food options? I am terrified of letting him eat anything back there. What if he starts choking?!

I *do* keep special toys, books, bubbles, etc. in there. That's what was so frustrating. I would tell him we were going home, or going to get food, or giving him something to play with, juice, etc. I tried getting him to put *me* in the seat (kinda) so it would be fun.

Yesterday this happened when I was picking him up from daycare. he wanted to go home, just not get in the seat. There is no way to walk anywhere here. I guess I will have to find more unique things to stash in the car.

[marispel]

I would get a little snack cup that has a slit type lid and put safe snacks in there. It takes a little time for them to get the food out and keeps them busy. My DS loves it. We do Rice Chex, Cheerios, Veggie Chips (dehydrated), Gold Fish. I just put a bunch of different things in there.

Also - get a few "new" toys that he hasn't seen yet. Maybe go to the Dollar Store or Garage Sales and pick up a few crazy things that he doesn't have at home. I'm surprised at how interested my son can be in "new" things.

[PhotoJournMama]

Is he able to climb up into the seat himself? This is what saved us after we let DS play with the steering wheel, which of course was all he wanted to do from then on. He thinks it's fun and exciting to climb up himself.

[just_lily]

If it is happening when you are picking him up from daycare, would it be possible for one of the workers to come out to the car for you and strap him in? A lot of times kids are way more agreeable for anyone who isn't Mama. I strap my friend's DD into her seat a lot because she is fine for me, but puts up a big stink for Mum.

Stickers are great distractions in my house right about now. I put on on DD's hand and she looks at it for a long while!

I definitely wouldn't turn him around because of this. He is just as likely to be stubborn forward facing as rear facing.

[pbjmama]

Normal. I just tell my kids it is not a choice because it is a safety rule. Now would you like mama to buckle you or will you do it? Both of mine could do the chest clip before 2 years and they are very proud of themselves! Yes, sometimes there is crying and screaming and fighting. It does pass, 2 year olds are designed to test limits

[daniturtle]

My 18-month old has been doing this lately with both her dad and me. Screaming, crying, wriggling- it's terrible! As soon as she's all in, it's all good and fine and she smiles and is happy. argh!

She can climb up into the seat herself but then doesn't want to sit down and get strapped in. We've started keeping high quality (in her world) "toys" in the car that she gets when she sits down the right way and gets strapped in. I'm a little ashamed to say that the two "toys" that work best are an empty soda can and a pen. Stickers would probably work really well for her too. After the novelty of the can and/or the pen, we'll move onto that! Maybe there is a toy that your son doesn't normally play with but is very desirable that you can keep in the car for just these times. It's a hard stage, especially when you just want to get on the road already!

[leighi123]

When ds did this for a while, I would just plan a trip somewhere fun (like the park), and when he started freaking out I'd just set him in his seat (not buckled) and stand there until he chilled out.
If I got bored I'd just say 'ok I guess we cant go to the park' and would take him back inside. Pretty quick he figured out he better let me strap him in if he wanted to go anywhere! Took a lot of paitence for me to just wait it out, but I was in no rush.

I have also always told him 'the car doesnt go unless everyone is buckled' (which is true b/c I wont start the car until everyone is strapped in right). It gets boring to sit there and not go for a long time, so eventually he'd let me buckle him in.

It only took a couple days to get over freaking out, now he gets in just fine. He also likes to 'help' and buckles his own chestclip.