Backstory:
I was planning a birth at the local birth center with the midwives there. We were so excited to go to the birth center because it was exactly the compromise we wanted between a hospital birth and a home birth.
Although I definitely don't enjoy pregnancy, it was a very textbook pregnancy up until 39 weeks when I started itching on my hands and then my feet. I called the birth center and they had me come in for a blood draw. The results reveled that I had developed Cholestasis of Pregnancy.
Usually when people are diagnosed with this it's earlier in a pregnancy, and they induce at 37 weeks. Since I was already 39 weeks I assumed they would want to induce immediately, but the consulting OBs decided that we would induce in one week, which would get me to my due date, and also give me time to get myself into labor. It was decided that if I could get myself into labor that I could still go to the birth center. But with an induction I'd have to go to UNC hospital.
We did everything we could to get me into labor. Evening primrose oil, sex, acupuncture, 4 membrane sweeps, castor oil, pineapple, eggplant parmesan and I can't even remember what else. I had a couple of nights with some cramps where I thought things were going to progress, but then it all stopped.
Birth Story:
Labor didn't start on its own, so I gave up my hope of the birth center and met the midwife, Jewell, at UNC. They got the IV started and monitors hooked up. They started the pitocin by about 12:30-1:00 pm. I sat up in the bed and relaxed for a while, experiencing some mild contractions about 3 minutes apart. I remember remarking to everyone, "hey, 3 minutes apart and lasting for a minute, this is when we would have been leaving for the birth center! And I wouldn't even have known I was in labor." Yeah, I would eat those words later. Eventually they got a little stronger, and I wanted the baby to move down, so I sat on the birth ball and bounced some. Suddenly I felt a sharp punching feeling down low, like something popped inside. Charlotte asked if it was my water breaking, but I didn't feel anything coming out, so I said no. Then a few minutes later I stood up to pee and felt water gushing out. Someone ran out to let the Jewell know, and she came in and checked that it was clear. It was! Meconium is thought to be a higher risk with Cholestasis, so that was really relieving.
I used the bathroom, and changed out of my clothes and into a hospital gown. At this point my biggest concern was that I may have ruined my sister's pants (note: I didn't, they washed fine).
Soon my mild little contractions turned into much bigger contractions. I started having to really concentrate through them. At some point I got into the tub, which was small, but at least it was water. I was starting to have some major back pain, and had to have Zach dig his hands into my back. Back labor had been my fear with a posterior baby, but she wasn't posterior. Frustrating!
In my head it seems like only a few minutes went by, but I must have been in the tub for a while. I started crying at the end of some of the contractions because they were just so intense. I was also getting overheated, so we got me out of the tub. I know that everyone always says that if the woman asks for drugs or says she "can't do this" during a contraction, that she may not really mean it. I remember saying to Zach "it is between contractions and I CANNOT DO THIS." Jewell came and checked me, and I was still only at about 5cm, though she thought I was almost completely effaced. I think we could all tell that there was no way I could do this for hours more, pitocin contractions were just too intense. I'd been at about 5 cm since before I ever got to the hospital. We decided to do some IV Nubain. I know I was still in pain, because I was vocalizing through them, but I was not in my head at all.
At some point I was thinking about how when people say they just can't do it that it can sometimes mean they're in transition. Of course, we knew that I was most certainly not in transition or anywhere close. But I joked to Char, "So, if I *say* that I can't do this anymore, it will mean that I'm in transition, right?" As though just me saying it were what would make it true. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.
Eventually, though, the Nubain wore off and they told me I couldn't have anymore for another hour or so. That was NOT what I wanted to hear! She checked me again and I was not even at 6cm yet. There was virtually no rest between contractions. This was when we started talking about an epidural. I never thought twice about it, and I never regretted it at all. I was absolutely horrified when they told me it was going to take maybe half an hour to get them up to do it, and then 20 minutes for it to take effect. Eventually it all happened though, and I was able to get a little sleep. It had been about six hours for pitocin induced hell since my water had broken, and I was exhausted. Now that doesn't sound like so long to me, but the contractions had been one on top of the other and extremely intense. After I woke up I laid in bed and chatted with Char and my mom while Zach slept a bit.
At 8 am we had a midwife change, and at about 11 am I was checked by Kate and at 8cm with an anterior lip of cervix. Obviously the epidural had actually helped things in this case.
I was also STARVING. Had been the whole time. It had been over 24 hours since I'd eaten anything. Along with the extreme hunger I had a completely unquenchable thirst. Nothing would make it better.
In addition to all of that, I'd been feeling like I had to poop for hours. Everyone kept saying it was the baby's head, but I still say that it was partially poop and gas. I think her head was blocking any gas from coming out.
At about 12:30 the have to poop feeling became an "I think it's time to have this baby" feeling. We called Kate, who declared that I was at 10cm but still with the lip, so she was going to hold the lip back while I started to push. I don't think anybody really thought it was going to be push time yet, so suddenly everybody was a flurry of activity.
Unfortunately because of the epidural I wasn't allowed to try to push except for on my back or side. What really surprised me is that I way preferred my back. And I was getting really frustrated everytime they'd make me turn over to try to get her past my pubic bone. Turning over with a head coming out between your legs isn't exactly easy.
We decided to attach the bar to the bed. Then we wrapped a sheet around the bar for me to play "tug of war" with. This was awesome. If I had to be on my back this was the way to do it. During each contraction I put my feet against the bar (or maybe people held my legs?) and grabbed the sheet and pushed. The epidural was turned low enough that I could feel the urge to push, which is great, since that had been one of my fears with an epidural.
I had no concept of time at all, but at some point Kate mentioned that I'd been pushing for an hour and a half. I sort of wish she hadn't said that, because suddenly it felt like a really long time, and it didn't seem like she was ever going to come. Kate also set up the mirror for me to watch, but I couldn't keep my eyes open during pushing, and I know that to everyone else it seemed like I was making progress, but that little tiny sliver of head didn't seem like much to me.
About half an hour later she was starting to crown. I could feel the ring of fire, and was actually singing "ring of fire" in my head as I pushed. Even at the time I remember thinking "this is going to be funny, later." At some point I heard everyone commenting on how into it I was, how turned inward, and I was thinking, "They have no idea that I'm singing Johnny Cash right now!"
I know I felt like I was going to definitely tear, but at the time I just didn't care at all.
Soon I heard them say she was out to about eyebrow level. At this point I really think I could have stopped voluntarily pushing. Her head was wiggling its way out even between contractions. Charlotte said you could see it turning. It was a very weird feeling. That was when I suddenly realized that she was actually going to come out! I think it was just one or two more pushes when her head came out, and then the rest of her body slithered out on the next push (i think). Zach handed her up to me, and she was already turning pink. Kate commented on her "juicy cord." We waited for it to stop pulsing and Zach cut the cord. At some pint in there she peed on me.
Her Apgar was 9/9.
Then Kate stitched me up- 1 first degree tear, and 1 second degree tear. 5 stitches, total.
We spent some time with Lorelei on my chest, let her play around with breastfeeding, and just generally sat there in awe of this beautiful baby who had suddenly come into our lives.
My mom went and got me the best damn grilled cheese sandwich EVER. Eventually they took us upstairs to the maternity floor. One of the first things I did was to call the nurse to say that I needed to use the bathroom. When she got into the room I informed her that I did, indeed, have to poop (they wanted to collect any urine, so I thought they might like to know that I also needed to poop). She was flustered, saying that most women don't need to do that as soon as they get upstairs! I had *told* everyone that I needed to, and had been saying it for the better part of 24 hours!
Since she's been here it's been quite a learning experience. The first night home from the hospital was horrendous. I was still exhausted from giving birth, and I swear she is nocturnal. I'm slowly starting to ease into my new life as a person who is awake for several hours in the middle of the night, every night.
All-in-all the birth may not have gone how I envisioned, but it went as well as it could given the circumstances. I would have preferred to go without the nubain or epidural- but then again, i would have preferred to have been at the birth center. Jewell made me feel so good, as she was leaving her shift she told me that she totally thinks that had I been at the birth center that I could have had the birth I wanted without the pain meds, that pitocin contractions aren't like normal contractions for most people, and that I could have done it. It was nice to be reminded that I'm not just a big wimp.
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