junk food in school lunches

[raksmama]

DS (12) has been in a public Catholic school since 3rd grade. Before that he was in a Waldorf school for 3 years and a kind of Montessori school for a year. The school where he is now is without doubt the best one he has ever been to. Academically it is certainly the best. The teachers have been the most professional, dedicated as well as caring. The school has great resources and is very accommodating regarding different learning types. Conflict resolution is also great. DS is very happy there. He was miserable at the Waldorf School.

My only complaint about this school is that there are no rules regarding what the children can pack in their lunches. All of the children bring in sweets, things like hostess twinkies,cookies and candy bars for their snacks,( not only for their dessert which is bad enough).I am constantly having arguments with Ds about what he can bring in. He refuses to bring in my homemade spelt muffins because he says the other children make fun of them. I will never let him bring in all the garbage that the other kids bring, but I am definately compromising and letting him bring more sweets than I would like. I let him bring in granola bars or organic cookies.
He is in grade 6. From what I have learned the middle school he will be going to is supposed to be really good but the food policy is no different. It also has a cafeteria that serves lots of junk food, even pop.

It is so hard trying to get your child to eat healthy when everyone around him eats garbage! At the same time I am not changing schools just because of this.

Have any you mamas found yourselves in my position?
How would you deal with this?

[Emmeline II]

I am in that position and I do what you do.

Ds did get comments about his laptop luchbox and his muffins (which I made, but found too time consuming with my own school work to do); I coached him on standing up for himself (It's my _____ and I like it!).

His teacher and all the lunch ladies complimented him on his lunchbox, so that helped.

I allow him to take whole grain gold fish, granola bars, NSA apple sauce, a bottle of water and I make sandwhich wraps. I allow him to buy hot lunch on Fridays (ice cream day). The lunchroom doesn't sell soda, but it does have juice and milk with HFC.

It was REALLY difficult in the beginning when children around him had lunchables with Reese's pieces and kool aid; they still do but ds adjusted after a few months and some compromises.

Their snack is required to be relatively healthy; no candy/hostess type things.

[raksmama]

Originally Posted by Emmeline II

I am in that position and I do what you do.

Ds did get comments about his laptop luchbox and his muffins (which I made, but found too time consuming with my own school work to do); I coached him on standing up for himself (It's my _____ and I like it!).

His teacher and all the lunch ladies complimented him on his lunchbox, so that helped.

I allow him to take whole grain gold fish, granola bars, NSA apple sauce, a bottle of water and I make sandwhich wraps. I allow him to buy hot lunch on Fridays (ice cream day). The lunchroom doesn't sell soda, but it does have juice and milk with HFC.

It was REALLY difficult in the beginning when children around him had lunchables with Reese's pieces and kool aid; they still do but ds adjusted after a few months and some compromises.

Their snack is required to be relatively healthy; no candy/hostess type things.

Yes, DSs lunches are similar to yours. I also let him order pizza on pizza day twice a month. That is great that the teachers in your sons school are at least encouraging!
There was one teacher in third grade that was a little crunchy herself and encouraged the children to bring in healthy snacks. The fourth grade teacher brought in a bag of candy to class everyday and ate from it throughout the day and would sometimes "reward " the children with a piece. 5th and 6th grade teachers sometimes preach a little about healthy eating, but never do or say anything about what the kids bring in.

[One_Girl]

When I sent lunches for my dd I sent one thing from each food group, except dairy which dd bought at school, and sent a small dessert once in a while. When dd talked about wanting things like some of her friends got we talked about why those things aren't healthy. Sometimes I would compromise on something that wasn't horribly unhealthy, sometimes I would get something as a dessert and serve it after I knew she had eaten a lot of really healthy food first, and sometimes we added it to our wish list. She is a lot younger though and easier to sway. It was frustrating to go through so much effort to send my dd with fresh and healthy food only to have to hear about the wonderful mom who sent a muffin and soda with her child when she got home.

Does the cafeteria serve soda and junk food or does it have machines the kids can buy those things out of? I think that is something you should check into so you know how much you need to worry. I believe that they aren't suppossed to serve soda and really junky food if they participate in the USDA lunch program, but I am not sure. My dd's daycare participated in that and they couldn't even serve Fruit Loops. That may vary from place to place though. We are very lucky in my district to have really nice lunches with lots of whole grains and fresh foods. The junior highs and high schools do have vending machines though, but if your child doesn't have money for the machines often then it isn't as big of a problem.

[MJB]

My son's school doesn't restrict what kids are allowed to bring from home and it's never been an issue. He eats school lunch most days of the week but when he takes his lunch, it is always something healthy like chili, soup, or leftovers in a thermos, a fruit, and a baggie of raw veggies. He takes a cloth napkin and a real fork.
For snack they are only allowed to bring fruit or veggies, but I know one girl brings kool-aid in her water bottle and drinks it all day.

[Linda on the move]

I think that there are two completely different issues:

1. how to react when people point out something about you

2. what he wants to eat for lunch.

I'd spend lots of time on the first one because it will come up again, no matter what he takes in his lunch. They'll find something else. All kids get teased a bit and how they react determines whether or not they end up as a victim or a kid who can let stuff roll off. This is a good article

http://wondertime.go.com/learning/ar...our-child.html

On the "what he actual takes" issue, go for compromise, remembering that helping him find a happy medium he can live with sets him up better in life than eating only healthy things right now and having horrid eating habits as an adult.

[raksmama]

Originally Posted by One_Girl

It was frustrating to go through so much effort to send my dd with fresh and healthy food only to have to hear about the wonderful mom who sent a muffin and soda with her child when she got home..

To quote my son, one day he came home and said "I had to suffer watching ...... ( name of child) eating brownies,........eating oreocakesters,........eating an Oh Henry bar and I had to eat your organic muffin!" I've stopped making muffins for his school and just give him a store bought granola bar as a compromise. He still loves my muffins when I make them at home however.

[QUOTE=One_Girl;15307737] Does the cafeteria serve soda and junk food or does it have machines the kids can buy those things out of? QUOTE]

The middle school where he will be going next year actually sells cans of pop in the cafeteria. They do offer some relatively healthy lunches however.

[raksmama]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

I think that there are two completely different issues:
1. how to react when people point out something about you
2. what he wants to eat for lunch.
I'd spend lots of time on the first one because it will come up again, no matter what he takes in his lunch. They'll find something else. All kids get teased a bit and how they react determines whether or not they end up as a victim or a kid who can let stuff roll off. This is a good articlehttp://wondertime.go.com/learning/ar...our-child.html .

Good points. Ds at age 12 is getting better about standing up to teasing. He is also aware of how the kids in his school are different from his friends he met from back from when I used to go to LLL meetings or his cousins who all eat healthy. He is aware how he has so much more in common with these friends in more ways that just the foods they eat. At the same time he sees the kids at school on a regular basis and 12 is definitely not an age where you want to stand out.

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

On the "what he actual takes" issue, go for compromise, remembering that helping him find a happy medium he can live with sets him up better in life than eating only healthy things right now and having horrid eating habits as an adult.

Yes, I knew a woman who used to gorge herself with sweets until she was ill. She attributed that to the fact that as a child all sweets were forbidden. For this reason I do allow him sweets and not just the healthy kind. But I guess when he compares what I allow to what the other kids in school are allowed he still feels deprived.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

I'm actually occassionally on the opposite side of this. The overall school has only a few hard-and-fast rules (no soda, no caffeine, no candy) with an encouragement for "healthy". DD's teacher has also outlawed cookies at lunch and has been rewarding children for bringing in healthy foods (with team points, a big deal at this school). Which sounds ideal, right? Except that the teacher gets to decide what is "healthy" and has some odd ideas. I mean, for a 7 YO growing, appetite-suppressed (due to medication), underweight child, not all fat and suger is evil. Not even all cookies are evil. I struggle to find something she will eat mid-day and her teacher or classmates will ask "is that healthy" and then she won't eat it. OK, so chocolate pudding (organic ingredients, home made) isn't perfect, but it has more nutrients than many things and she really needs those calories. Now she won't take it because "its not healthy". Yes, apples are better than applesauce, but she has lost all 8 front teeth and can't possibly bite an apple right now. But she is afraid to take the applesauce. GRRRR.

Which is a really long way to say, I think there is no perfect answer for this one. Its good to teach kids to stand up for what they think is right, be it unusual food they like or not smoking, and to teach them to evaluate the healthiness (or lack thereof) of their meals and take responsibility for their bodies. And realize that we won't always be there to help them make those decisions so giving them all the tools we can is the best we can do.

[winwin]

I'm not really sure how you can set rules for what parents can send for lunch, other than nut free. I'm a teacher in Ontario and I am horrified about what I see in the lunches. Not only is it very bad for them, but it's a lot of garbage. I talk to them all the time about what is healthy. Even when the school sells them chocolate milk, I talk about how the sugar content is unhealthy. I talk about salt and fat and total calories. I talk about exercise and healthy bodies. I show them media presentations designed to convince them they are not good enough and others like Dove evolution that show them how the ads are made. We are collecting our own garbage to get to 67 pounds (the average amount a North American school child generates in lunches in a year) and we are making a sculpture out of it to represent the Pacific Dump. My class is grade 4 and they now know about bottled water being bad, etc.

However, they are ingesting my opinions and their parents, and they are synthesizing their own along the way. Hopefully, over time, they will learn to make healthy choices. I don't think it can be legislated through the schools, although I do think they should not provide unhealthy choices ever. I do think that the food industry should be taken to bat for it though.

[Linda on the move]

At the same time he sees the kids at school on a regular basis and 12 is definitely not an age where you want to stand out.

He is also an age when wanting to be indepedent from mom and different than mom is a really big deal. Part of what is going on could be related to the natural desire to start breaking away.

There's got to be a way that you guys can come up with a reasonably healthy lunch that he's willing to eat in public! My DD doesn't like to eat vegies in her lunch because she thinks they are dorky, but she'll eat a lot of fruit at lunch and then eat a lot of vegies with dinner.

Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom

I mean, for a 7 YO growing, appetite-suppressed (due to medication), underweight child, not all fat and suger is evil.

We are really big on healthy fats in our house. My kids know which fats are healthy what a reasonable portion is.

I am so OVER the all fat is evil thing.

OK, so chocolate pudding (organic ingredients, home made) isn't perfect, but it has more nutrients than many things and she really needs those calories. Now she won't take it because "its not healthy". Yes, apples are better than applesauce,

chocolate pudding and applesauce are lunch time regulars for my 11 year old. Pudding has protein and calcium in dessert form, and applesauce stores well is just apples that have been mushed up (the stuff I buy is anyway!).

[rabrog]

I'd send a treat for school and focus on healthier eating at home. Can you make spinach brownies or other treats that hide veggies?

OTOH, I'd be interested if your kid would even like an Oreo Cakester! I love Oreos and I won't eat one of those things!

Jenn

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by jalilah

Yes, I knew a woman who used to gorge herself with sweets until she was ill. She attributed that to the fact that as a child all sweets were forbidden. For this reason I do allow him sweets and not just the healthy kind. But I guess when he compares what I allow to what the other kids in school are allowed he still feels deprived.

Dh was really concerned about this, so once a week I pick up a cup cake from "Cupcake Couture" for each of them, after dd's dance class, that is about half icing and half cake; sometimes they might have a little icecream on the weekend. Though during the week I try to keep it as healthy as possible. I would not be sad to see the school give up "ice cream Friday"; I knew I would loose that battle.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom

Except that the teacher gets to decide what is "healthy" and has some odd ideas. I mean, for a 7 YO growing, appetite-suppressed (due to medication), underweight child, not all fat and suger is evil. Not even all cookies are evil. I struggle to find something she will eat mid-day and her teacher or classmates will ask "is that healthy" and then she won't eat it. OK, so chocolate pudding (organic ingredients, home made) isn't perfect, but it has more nutrients than many things and she really needs those calories.

How about a Dr.'s note? "Due to the nature of X's medical concerns, it is necessary for her to consume additional fat and sugar, outside of what is normally recommended, during the school day."

[Irishmommy]

Is your school part of this? http://www.healthyschools.com/ If not, talk to the school council and/or the principal.

[basje]

Originally Posted by jalilah

To quote my son, one day he came home and said "I had to suffer watching ...... ( name of child) eating brownies,........eating oreocakesters,........eating an Oh Henry bar and I had to eat your organic muffin!"

lol, this made my morning. Those damn organic muffins!

[eepster]

The big problem with schools dictating that lunches must be healthy is who gets to define what is "healthy." For example in the thread about a school that did dictate healthy lunches, many felt that one of the foods that was confiscated sounded more nutritious then the item that the school then substituted. Of course there are the frequent debates about eliminating chocolate milk in the name of healthiness when many of us believe a little chocolate is a good way to make a basically nutritious food (milk) that we believe benefits our kid more palatable. Just consider the debates that erupt when you let the traditional foodies talk to the veg*ns.